tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36128951.post5889266903185585399..comments2024-01-19T14:17:05.124-08:00Comments on The Gorman Blog: Little Crisis of FaithPeter Gormanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04010025416629344748noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36128951.post-1908198070866663322013-10-26T12:02:59.960-07:002013-10-26T12:02:59.960-07:00Oh, Peter! I'm so grateful you've found th...Oh, Peter! I'm so grateful you've found the strength to share this! It echoes the song of my heart right now. I've been going through similar issues due to completely debilitating back pain caused by growths on my spine. The only differences being: it gets worse the more I do, seems to be progressing in a negative way, all of my material resources were long ago depleted trying to resolve it, I have NO source of income, have been either shunned or politely put at a distance from nearly all of my friends, been derided by those I would have expected to offer support, receive only the minimal medical care and a few dollars in food stamps (which are being cut, but that doesn't matter much because I can rarely find anyone to take me to the store and typically only have the strength to cook or eat once a day), and am very soon facing the possibility of having to live in my car which has no battery, registration or insurance (which doesn't matter much either because my license just expired and I can't afford to renew it). There's more, but you get the point. <br /><br />I often find myself asking the same questions you have in this post. What happened to the guy that used to inspire people by just walking into the room? The guy who did everything with joy and could easily tackle what others found to be impossible problems? The guy who spent every moment of the day communing with the spirits of nature, hiking, surfing, helping people move, improve their fitness, find their spirituality and become their best? Why can he now seldom find the strength to answer the phone, let alone offer much service to the person on the other end? (Good thing it hardly rings anymore.) What happened to all the energy he invested in the physical and spiritual health of himself and his community? Where did that guy go? <br /><br />The answer is, he's dead. He's dead because it's time for something new—a whole new, previously unimaginable paradigm. It's time for the caterpillar to grow wings, and that inevitably means some time in a dark cocoon. <br /><br />A lot of people don't know what goes on in there. The caterpillar doesn't just transform. It literally dissolves into butterfly soup before the new creature takes form and emerges, and I don't think that's a very comfortable process. Yet it's inevitable. And for me, it seems that when I'm too stubborn or stupid to get into the cocoon myself, Ayahuasca somehow creates the circumstances that give me no choice but to dissolve. It's a little scary, but I know from experience that looking back is pointless. I know that once everything in the old paradigm is shattered and there's nothing left to grasp, it's only a matter of time before some sparkling new opportunity that my old mind could not have even conceived will make itself available, and I'll only be able to reach it because of the wings that grew out of that butterfly soup. <br /><br />So, rejoice in the current darkness, my friend. It's the harbinger of unimaginable joy. Long before you took your first sip of that precious sacrament, you, like me, signed up for the kind of adventure that most people wouldn't have the courage undertake. I can assure you that there are those of us who are growing through periods that seem much worse than the one you're in. I wish I still had a lawn to mow. I wish I could just fold my laundry or vacuum my floor without throwing up from or being paralyzed by the pain. I wish there was a doctor saying "There's this procedure that may suck, but it's gonna mean you'll eventually get better." But we all have one commonality. We can only go right if we let the Vine be our guide and keep focusing on what our experiences allow us to give the world around us. You are loved, Peter, and it seems you're right where you're supposed to be.XShttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07312550122547232509noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36128951.post-84264775550756845002013-10-21T18:28:28.225-07:002013-10-21T18:28:28.225-07:00cardamon teacardamon teaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36128951.post-87387296015692027992013-10-08T10:25:55.890-07:002013-10-08T10:25:55.890-07:00You can't live the big highs without some big ...You can't live the big highs without some big lows, Peter. I don't say that flippantly or as some sort of platitude. I mean that you're blessed with a broad range that--for better and worse--takes you soaring beyond where nearly anyone else has gone then feels the need to balance it out by planting your face in the shit for awhile.<br /><br />Otherwise, you've got to come to terms with the fact that you've experienced extreme physical trauma and that, thankfully if painfully, you're now healing. Don't let the time and effort that this recovery is taking feel wasted. While I can't expect you to enjoy it in any way, you know how strong you are and how much stronger you'll feel again soon.<br /><br />You've got a lot of people rooting for you, Peter. Take strength from us--in just the way that you've given it to so many over the years.Bill Freimuthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12342338107430026047noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36128951.post-72605658319985720772013-10-08T10:00:17.568-07:002013-10-08T10:00:17.568-07:00I completely agree with the previous commenter. Ha...I completely agree with the previous commenter. Hang in there Peter and things will get better, if only that pain would go away. I will try and send some blessings. <br /><br />PiersPiers Alderhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03019443994105889561noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36128951.post-85794018740340151212013-10-07T13:40:10.320-07:002013-10-07T13:40:10.320-07:00For the many people that write to you and say you ...For the many people that write to you and say you are an inspiration, there are many many more that are still inspired, they just don't write to tell you. Your work is amazing. You inspire me more than you know! <br /><br />Have you ever watched "What About Bob". With Bill Murray? Baby Steps. Little bit at a time. Overcome the small things.And in time you will be as you were, and better for having overcome such an ordeal. Get well Mr. Gorman!!!<br />Love light and blessing from Florida!<br /><br />Derrickdman3513https://www.blogger.com/profile/10031566900834053335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36128951.post-84687765445552739342013-10-07T05:57:16.864-07:002013-10-07T05:57:16.864-07:00I believe this dark state of mind has a very simpl...I believe this dark state of mind has a very simple cause: the antibiotics destroyed your ( as happens to each of us...) already compromised gut flora. The Flora is very important ALSO for the emotions and the mental heath.<br />Kambò could help you to overcome this panema ? i think yes, but it is not enough, because to restore the bacterial symbiosis is not simple, normal probiotics do almost nothing.<br />I have an idea to do that job, but not verified personally even if one can find some encouraging references googling Fecal Transplant. I'm not jocking.<br />A three old baby not vaccinated would be the best donator, in my view.<br />All the best, my dear Peter.<br /><br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05178987096043993640noreply@blogger.com