Thursday, February 28, 2008

It Could Be Worse

You know, I know this family of mine is messed up. Chepa, my wife/ex-eife has a new boyfriend and two babies with him. We sometimes fight about money, about girls she thinks I have in Iquitos, Peru--where she's from--and all sorts of things. But then there are other times, like tonight, when she comes over for dinner with Madeleina--I asked her to bring Madeleina because she's been sleeping at Chepa's for 4 of 7 nights since I returned from Peru two weeks ago and I miss my kid--and she did, without hesitation. And she brought Sierra and Alexia as well and I sang to the babies and made dinner and Chepa just raved about the food and apologized for not doing my toe nail-which are killing me--and laughed when Sierra called me Dad and Papi, along with "P", when she yelled that we had to feed the goats. And Chepa laughed at jokes and got flirty and then she and I had a sit-down with Marco and he couldn't believe we were on the same page, and he still got it. And then Madeleina said she was going to sleep at Mom's tonight but would sleep at our house the the next few days and Sierra gave me four or five big kisses and asked if I would see her in the morning with fresh strawberry juice (strawberries, banana, oranges, milk, water and sugar, like they make in Iquitos, Peru) and I said yes and so she saids "Okay dad, see you with juice in the morning" and so I've got a purpose to wake up tomorrow and man, sometimes, even though this family is about as buste4d as it can be, it still feels like we'll be the same circle in 20 years as we are today. And you know what? Despite me needing a lover in an awfully big way, this wouldn't be the worst, and might be the best crowd I could hang with when it's my time to check out. I don't know why and maybe I'm just hanging on rediculously, but I still think this is my crowd. And tonight at least, that felt real and that felt honest and good. Even though we're busted.
P

4 comments:

The Great Circus Volcano said...

Peter, I never posted a comment here before because I did not have a blogger id, but well, I did not want to let this one pass.

You say you guys are busted... I say you are lucky... you ensambled your own little community, you found your place and your people. Do not let any Judeo-Christian principles get in the way of being proud of your personal achievements.

Yes, families can be difficult, but you guys have each other and from following your writings for a good while, I can feel the love (even though it might sound cliche), so embrace it and perhaps this is what this life is about for you: putting together a seemingly odd group of individuals from different backgrounds and making it succeed. No easy task and one you embraced with gusto (as should anyone in their right mind!).

As for having a partner, let me say this... any woman would be blessed to have you in their lives. You are caring, intellectually challenging and a good cook... what more could a lady want? ;-)

mattan said...

Peter Gorman,

I'm expecting to move myself (alone, without a family) to Iquitos relatively soon. I live in California. I was wondering if you might offer some advice. I seek work in Iquitos. I speak a decent Spanish but have been unable to locate English teaching jobs in Iquitos on the internet. I wonder if you may know of something locally where my English my come in handy?

Would appreciate any help.

Mattan Shrager
mattanshrager@gmail.com

daisyduke said...

you paid your debt with a healthy gift check, you feed your family, and your job is something you are both good at AND like. the only thing that's busted is your brain, man.
watch "it's a wonderful life" again. you have touched lives in ways you'll never even know. you don't have to lend poor people money, and be at odds with a crotchety old man in a wheel chair to be the "richest man in town"
You have everything you want, I think. as for that lover...you could have her as well, you're just still attached to the old one, and just haven't chosen a new one, yet.
open your third eye.

Peter Gorman said...

I'll work at it Ms. Daisy...