Sunday, September 25, 2011

Reality Check

Don't know what it is, but this week has been hard for me. I feel like I'm moving through molasses and getting nowhere fast. And I have no reason to complain: I have stories, good ones, that I'm working on and several more that I'm beginning to collect information on and my kids are all good and I got to spend some time with Sierra and Alexa this week, along with my granddaughter Taylor Rain, and that was fantastic.
So it's not work, it's not missing the kids. It really isn't money either--there was enough to pay the mortgage for next month last week and I still got enough for a can of paint I need and gas money in my wallet.
No, this is just about me and maybe a reality check. I already wrote about doing the songs and feeling like they lacked oomph. I'm dealing with that and gonna sing my way through it and keep trying to help if I can.
I think maybe it's about myself dragging myself down. I need some soul searching.
I spoke with someone I hadn't spoken with in a long time yesterday. I almost couldn't breathe at first. Whew.... Who the hell was I--am I--to be bumping into someone else's world?
Well, I'm sitting here searching for something to say and my Irish insides are telling me: You feeling sorry for yourself? Are you kidding? Get the hell into the kitchen and mop the floor. Get outside and get that paint and get the work done. Open a new folder and get one of the stories due this week started and finished. But don't just sit here full of vague remorse and self-pity you bum! Live, don't linger!
Okay, well, I'm glad I had that little chat with myself.
My mother used to say things like "You want to feel sorry for yourself? Go volunteer emptying bedpans at an old folks home. Then you'll at least have a reason to feel sorry for yourself."
Thanks, mom.

1 comment:

Kuchinta said...

Catching up on my reading, as you can tell :)
Love that phrase, "Live, don't linger!" Going to borrow it, if you don't mind.