Something About the Peru Trips

Without going all grandiose, and I mean that sincerely, there is something about doing the Peru trips the way that I do them that is very intimate. My guests know that our circle is inviolate, and that any stories emerging from the trip must never include names or particulars that can identify anyone. I mean, who wants that funny story told about how they pooped themselves and had to be changed by the Gorman team? Or who might be in a child custody case and then someone posts a youtube video of them drinking ayahuasca and that winds up costing them custody of their children. No. None of that is public. And my guests have been very very good at keeping those stories nameless over all these years.

That's one kind of intimacy.

There are others. One of the others is that my team and I, watching out for the guests, not-interfering but making sure they can make it off the platform hut without breaking an ankle or to the bathroom most of the time in time, are encouraging people to eliminate the bile of their lives. We're working with the medicine to give them an opportunity--and it is deliberate, not happenstance--to get rid of the pain they are carrying needlessly. I mean, you lied to your mom about selling her car 20 years ago but she died 12 years ago---well, carrying that guilt is not helping you become a better person. So botale, throw up the pain you no longer need. Remember to never do that or lie about it again, so hold the memory, but throw up the pain associated with the guilt. It's past time to toss that and stand just a little taller with a little less weight on your back.

Unfortunately, my team and I, and I am the freaking specialist, wind up catching just a bit of that pain, anger, guilt...we wind up eating some of those sins though we don't mean to. And those sins, that pain, they have a life of their own and once it is in you (me) who knows how it will show itself?

This trip it showed up as simply conjunctivitis. Painful, nearly blind for a few days, but gone in two weeks with the right antibiotic shots and antibiotic eyedrops. But that turns out not to be all. The last three days I've sat in my home in Texas sweating, sweating, sweating. Cold showers but still sweating. Not a relapse of malaria, just the grippe. But nasty. And today I've got pink eye, styes, in both eyes. And the air conditioner we just fixed is not getting any electricity. Why? Don't know. Just interference from some nasty bit of filth I picked up from someone who was letting it go--a nasty bit of filth with a life of its own and which outsmarted me when I thought I was putting it somewhere where it could do no further harm.

I'll get better, and the second air con man in three days is coming over to repair things. But the things he is going to repair don't need any repair. They just need a choking force pulled off their wires. Because we know we already changed all the wires and everything worked.

So I'm not complaining, just noting that once again the universe is having a bit of a laugh at my expense. I'm sure I earned it.

Sounds like I've lost my mind to most of you, I'll bet. I haven't. I just see the life force in everything--and I mean everything--and none of it wants to die. And all of it will do any and everything that can be done not to leave this plane of existence. It's not a game. It's just the way life works: Life comes with an unwillingness to die.