That Money Thing Again--200th Post

Well, this post is number 200 I think. That's like having written you all two hundred letters. Thanks for sticking with me. But some of you have joined today or last month, and so I was thinking that for the 200th post I would make a list of maybe 10-15 posts that I think should be read by everyone alive so that the world gets better in a hurry. HA! The ARROGANCE OF GORMAN!!! laugh the people. And they're right. Still, there are some posts about living and a few about shamanism that I think are actually pretty good or funny or sad or full of heart. So if that sounds like something interesting please let me know and I'll do the work to assemble it. Too, if some of you have favorites, let me know what they are and I'll consider them for inclusion.
That said, let's get to it. I had one hellova week. And it was all about money. And no, I"m not in John McCain's middle class, which I think ranges from $100,000 to $5 million. I'm just a $30 grand a year guy trying to raise my three kids and pitch in with Chepa's two new kids and then help support 10 families in Peru. Still hard to believe that I used to clear $75,000 cash as a chef in NYC more than 20 years ago when my apartment cost me $200 a month. Hell, if I hadn't been using $50,000 a year in drugs I'd be self-sufficient by now....ah well, I did the drugs and have a deviated septum to show for it.
Ah, but it was delicious to chase that bitch.
Forget that. I do what I do and have been clean nearly 30 years now and still can't make the money I made as a chef in NYC: $300 a day as I walked out the door at night.
Given that, this week has been a bummer. I had a guy call and offer a couple of grand for a cover story for a trade magazine. Great. Tag? I had to have it done in less than two weeks. I worked as hard as I could and turned it in on time but it was rough. And now it's been three days and he hasn't written to ask for a rewrite. Which means he hates it. And if he hates it the best I'll get is a "kill fee" which is about 1/3 the contract price and he'll never use me again. I've never gotten a kill fee from a mag before unless the editor was fired while I was writing the piece or some such. But I've never had a piece flat out turned down as a freelancer.
So there goes some money. And then today I got the water bill. Now I always pay them a couple of hundred in advance. So I was surprised when I got a bill that ate the couple hundred and wants a couple of hundred more. That's a $400 water bill. Yes, we had a leak in the hot water line but I thought I caught it the first day. Evidently not. Then the electric bill came and because that water heater, due to the leak, was evidently running a couple of days, I've got to pay them over $500 bucks!
And there was an emergency in Peru on my land that cost me $400 and for one of my friends there which cost $190, and then Chepa, my wife/ex-wife, needs new brakes on the car that boyfriend has no money for, and then Madeleina a couple of days ago that she needs a flute and so today I called around and discovered that 'student flutes' go for $750! Heck, I saw Ben E King and Eric Clapton and half a dozen other of the world's most famous guitarists play up close and personal at the old Cafe Au Go Go in NYC's Greenwich Village and met with Jimmy Hendrix when I helped build his Electric Ladyland Studio and I'll bet none of them ever had a guitar that cost anywhere near what a student flute goes for.
And when I couldn't buy Madeleina the $750 flute she got upset, but understood. "Okay then, at least you have to buy me a used one for about $300. And then don't forget the list of books I need. They can come out of the $450 you saved from the flute. And the rest we can spend on toys, you know, if you can spare it later..."
And now the pig, who is eating more than imaginable in fresh fruits and veggies--I looked for the strawberries and celery today to use for dinner and both were gone, thank you very much Marco, as if the 10 bananas and the red and green pepper and carrot and onion ends were not enough--is demanding more and more. On the other hand, I'm beginning to salivate when I look at her and imagine her in lipstick over a spit....
So now I'm thinking of using some gaffer tape to put two pieces of celery together to make a tube. Slap a mouth piece on it, cut a few holes and Madeleina will have a flute and lunch for under a buck. And we can make a new one every day. And feed the pig the leftovers. Works for me, eh?