Friday, March 06, 2009

First Time Sex

Okay, right up front I have to explain that I was raised Irish-Catholic and was a kid in the 1950s, so a lot of what's talked about today on computers and television didn't get talked about back then. What I'm getting at is, for example, that while I walked around with a perpetually hard male member from ages 14-19, no one explained what masturbation was to me and so I never masturbated until I'd had sex. I had sex at the end of my 18th year, and masturbated about a week later, just after my 19th birthday, when I realized there was a connection.....More than you needed, right? Okay, but I'm just setting the time frame.
So here I was, a freshman in college, still living at home, and this absolutely stunning blond, Darryl, takes a liking to me in a sociology class. We start to hang around and then make a date. I borrowed my mom's old Dodge Dart, picked up Darryl and found a place to park and talk. It was snowing in Queens, New York that night. So we talked with the windows up for a while, the motor running to keep the heat on, then started making out. And it occurred to me that I might actually get some,...well, have sex in the car. Which is what we were moving toward, with me in heaven, when suddenly someone was tapping at Darryl's window. I nearly jumped through the roof. In a moment the knocking came again, this time followed by "Open the window. This is the police."
Well, it took a few moments to get reasonably dressed, then she rolled down the window. "Are you alright, mam?" the officer said? She told him yes, everything was fine.
The second cop in the car came to my window and did the license and registration thing with me, while the first cop got from Darryl that we were just kissing a little and nobody was the worse for it. So they let us go.
I took her home, but we left each other with a pretty passionate embrace that continued my five year streak of always having a hard-on. And which made me determined to find a place to get Darryl alone.
It didn't take long to find one. My friend Naomi, who also went to Hunter College, said we could use her place over on 91st and Amsterdam Ave. She was going out on Friday night and would leave a key in her mailbox in the foyer, which she'd leave open. Excellent. Next was to talk to my friend Bruno Valle, who took from his wallet a Trojan and handed it to me, saying, "That was going to be for me, but you're going to need it," in a solemn sort of way.
I was, shall we say, good to go.
Friday night came and I picked Darryl up after her last class at about a 7 PM. We took a cab to the West Side, picked up some Chinese food and walked the block or two to Naomi's. Only problem? There was no key.
I wasn't going to give up that easily, so we hung around until someone else going into the building came by and went in with them. We made our way up to Naomi's apartment and I looked under the welcome mat. No key. I felt around the door. No key. A couple of neighbors poked their heads out when they heard us talking in the hallway but we looked the right age to be Naomi's friends, so no one said anything or told us to leave.
I was getting pretty desperate. If I could just get to the other side of that door all the treasure of the Arabian Nights would be mine. And the damned door was locked.
Suddenly, my brain sprung into action: Above those old doors in New York City apartments were transoms, little windows that spun on pins on either side, so that people could open them to get a little more air. I had Darryl boost me up and I pushed the thing open, then slithered through and crashed to the ground on the inside. Who cared? I was in! I opened the door and then so was Darryl.
She played coy, asking for Chinese food and so I served her. But it didn't take long to get to a bedroom and down to things. Problem was, I was no good. I didn't even know how to put the condom on. Not unexpected, as I'd never seen one out of its package, but still slightly awkward. And then I knew I should get involved with some oral sex, but I didn't really know what that was, so did my best but I didn't hear Darryl screaming with delight or anything.
And then the ACT. Well, if I didn't know about condoms or oral sex, I sure as hell didn't know exactly where to put that thing and so probably stabbed her a dozen times before she took control. And once there I had no idea how I was supposed to move. I was simply wretched.
So I did the only thing I knew how to do: I told her I was sorry I sucked but that I was a virgin and so.....
I never got to finish that sentence. "You're a virgin? Really? Oh my god! I've been dying to fuck a virgin since I was 14! My god, I can't believe it!!!"
And with that we went from her allowing me to have a little sex to her deciding she was a bucking bronco and I was going to have to hang on for dear life! She bucked, she moaned, she sighed, she nearly bit my ears off. She drew blood tearing into my back with her fingernails; she wrapped her long legs around me and squeezed until I nearly feinted. All of it was good. All of it was very very good.
And then I finished. And man did I scream! Wow!!!!!!!! For the first time in my virgin life, I finished when I wasn't sleeping. Wow!!! So that's what people are talking about when they talk about jerking off, I thought!!! Why hadn't I thought of that???
Shortly after my bliss we got up and went to the bathroom. I knew I wanted some more of that so I took the condom off, washed it out and put it on the sink.
Just then there was a loud bashing at the door. "Police! Open up!"
Darryl and I raced for our clothes, dressed and opened the door. Two huge cops and one 19-year-old girl I'd never seen stepped into the room. "Who are you?" I asked the girl. "I live here. Who are you?"
Naomi hadn't mentioned anything about a roommate, and in the next couple of minutes we learned that she hadn't mentioned anything about promising me I could use the place on Friday night, either. The cops--who had been called when the roommate heard us in the apartment, probably my screaming in delight and amazement--wanted proof that we weren't thieves, considering that we'd somehow broken in. I explained the transom entry and pointed to the Chinese food. I explained why we were there but they weren't necessarily buying it. And then, out of the blue, tearing out of the bathroom came the house cat, condom between her teeth. She raced across the living room and I swear she dropped it right on one of the officers' shoes.
"What the hell is....Oh my god, get that thing off me!" he shouted. I did, but noticed that the damned thing had teeth holes in it, so I wouldn't be getting another chance to use it.
The condom convinced them we were telling the truth, but they still insisted on us leaving with them. On the way out one of the officers leaned over to me and sort of whispered: "You don't reuse them. You just bring more than one."
And then we were out into the winter night.
I spent about a month trying to get Darryl to do a repeat performance but evidently she wasn't impressed enough to go for it. Now that I wasn't a virgin but would still be a lousy lover was a combo that didn't turn her on. She let me neck with her a few times but then even that Peter'd out.
A couple of weeks later, just after I turned 19, I decided to experiment with that masturbation thing...and damn if it didn't work. I was amazed. And I decided that I liked it and had about 5-years of catching up to do.
40-years-later, I'm nearly there.

2 comments:

...... said...

excellent !

JungleBaby said...

Great story, very entertaining. Way better than my first time story. (I was eighteen). My first time was pretty lame, oh well.