Just Saying Thanks....

I'm sitting here, just come in from feeding the chickens and ducks and goat and Boots the blind wonderdog and the cats and the birds and I was just thinking, Thanks. Universe, you've been really good to me. So Thanks. Not that I'm flying high. I'm living on about $30 grand a year before expenses. I'm paying for my house, the kids when they need it, several thousand to Chepa, the wife/ex-wife when she runs short, Madeleina, and so forth. Last year it included Marco, Italo and Sara as well, but not so much now. Still, when I realized I was out of chicken feed, I went to the cupboard and got a large can of beans to add. And then, as strawberries were $1 buck a pint yesterday--perfect, even if genetically mutated--and I'd bought several pints I had no chance of using, I added a pint of strawberries to their food. Then a cheap loaf of bread ($0.94, I think) that they love, and a couple of quickly boiled potatoes and the left over macaroni salad from Madeleina's birthday party.
See what I'm getting at? I was just looking at the trees and run off creek and knew I had 5 pounds of chicken legs--$3.50--for Boots' food for today and tomorrow in the oven, had plenty of cat and bird food, and the goat just got a new 50lb bag. So I'm just thinking, thanks, god. Thanks white light. Thanks universe. Thanks big bang. I got nothing. I got plenty of nothing. But I got enough to keep the chickens giving me eggs. And I got 3/4 of a great meatloaf I made yesterday to feed anybody who comes over tonight. And I've got a red pepper in garlic on the stove and next to it draining fresh spinach, cauliflower, broccole and green beans. I've got hamburger meat in the fridge for emergency, and $50 in my pocket. It's not a whole lot, I know. But it was enough to give Madeleina a good birthday Friday. And it's enough to give a few out of town friends coming in this weekend a pretty good time. And it's enough to feed Marco if he sneaks in at 1 AM to raid the fridge, which he often does.
And at the same time I'm writing a story about kids whose parents need church handout for clothes, food, toiletries. And I'm glad the churches around here can do that. I hope I do my part, when I can. But I know I'm one of the lucky ones. My kids never have worried about eating. Not once. I mean, sometimes it wasn't great. Sometimes it was repetitive when we were making $5 grand a year, and $30 isn't a whole lot more than $5 in the real world. But still. my animals and kids and Chepa and her babies all eat.
So I just felt like saying Thanks.
And I hope you will all forgive me for making you spend your time listening to that.
But at the same time, I hope you get the same shot of fantastic yellow electricity running up your spine, through your hair and down your legs as I did when I realized: Oh, my goodness. Everybody is eating well again. THANKS UNIVERSE!!!!!!