Someone asked me and this is my answer

Someone asked me if I get excited about going to Peru twice a year. This is how I responded:
   You told me to ignore this, but now I see you asked a legit question. Do I get excited? I just finished a 1400 word piece yesterday for my newspaper, and I have a 4,000 word piece due Monday before I leave Monday night. Excited about Peru? While I am here I live here. I try to tighten up my life here--from garden to kids to animals and animal food and two months worth of bills paid, and then I go. And when I am in Peru I am not a dad, not an ex-husband,  not a grandpa. I'm Peter Gorman, Jungle guide and raconteur. They are two very separate worlds and it is a difficult crossing each time. I am expected to work magic both here and there and I know I cannot work magic  anywhere. No, I don't get excited, I get terrified that I will fail people who depend on me: While here I am terrified that I will fail my friends and family. While there I am terrified that I will fail people who come on the trips seeking healing that I might not be able to provide. YIKES!!!!!!!

Getting Ready to Leave, Lots to Do

Well, getting ready to head back down to Peru for 5 weeks or so. I've got two groups of seven and a couple of people in each group are friends who are returning, so they should be good allies for the trip. I think I've done just about everything I can think of: I've rented hotel rooms for the guests and got my old hotel, the Isabel, the oldest hotel in Iquitos, reserved for me. I've rented cabins on the riverboat, sent hundreds of dollars worth of goods up river, bought the supplies I need to bring, other than a couple of new shirts and sneakers for myself, and so I'm good to go.
   Where I'm falling short is here on the home front. I've got a story to finish today, then another one, a cover, to have done and edited by Monday, before I leave. I have more weeding to do in the garden, need to buy animal food for cats and dogs, birds and hummingbirds; need to get money to my family so that they'll have a little extra if they need it, need to pay my bills, two months each, and a host of other small things. So I'm feeling my blood pressure go up, but at the same time I know I got this if I just keep at it and do not falter. Plow ahead, Gorman. Chip away and the mountain will become a molehill. Of course, when that happens I'll notice there is another mountain behind the molehill, but I can chip away at that when I get there. Whew! Nervous, excited, cool.