Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Icaros, Rock 'n Roll and There I Am, Sobbing

It's not often that I'll be writing about music. I'll leave that for the experts, like my friend Steve Bloom--his blog is on the main page, check him out--but every now and then....
Today I was coming home from a meeting at the Fort Worth Weekly, my steadiest gig. It's our local alternative paper and run by a great gal, Gayle Reaves, whose won not only a Polk Award in journalism but a Pulitzer too. We're a good paper.
So I finish the weekly meeting and am headed home down I-35 from Fort Worth to Joshua. I start singing Icaros, ayahuasca songs. A new one started to come out of me but I got distracted by failing brakes on a busy highway and I couldn't get it back. So I turned on the radio to a local rock station and just then they're starting Free Bird. Wasn't a song I found fabulous in the day--I was just a little too old for it, having been weaned on Dylan, The Spencer Davis Group, The Blues Project (a brilliant NYC group that I often saw at the Cafe Au GoGo as a 15-16 year old), The Yardbirds and later Cream (whom I also saw in concert at The Cafe Au GoGo in NY's Village), BB King and so forth. But lately I've come to appreciate that the guitar solo in Free Bird is not only possibly the greatest guitar solo ever done but very moving.
So it came on today while I was upset over losing a new icaro and there I was, singing along, and then suddenly there I was, sobbing. And I mean sobbing. I was sobbing for my frind Julio, my ayahuasca maestro and friend for nearly 25 years who just died; for my friend Chuck who just had a heart attack; for who knows what else. But if anyone was looking into my 94 Ford Ranger extended cab open window they would have seen me singing and sobbing for sure. And the dj followed that up with Living in the Free World, and Neil Young's lyrics were searing and I kept sobbing for the next several miles.
When that finished I turned the radio off and went back to ayahuasca icaros and kept sobbing. Ayahuasca is good medicine. Very deep. It needed to clean something out of me today. And when the modern world got in the way of the spirit world, well, rock 'n roll lent a hand. Between them they cleaned out something that I'd been holding in and needed to let go.
What a freaking wonderful ride home that was. I feel like I took a shower from the inside out.

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