Upcoming Jungle/Mountain trips

Dear All: I've got a couple of trips coming up in June and July. The June trip will start on June 8 with a Jungle intensive--which means we take care of you but you're still allowed to be scared out of your minds because we'll be in real jungle, and deep jungle and ferocious things live there. Don't worry, even though you will bathe in the river--and the river is filled with wonderful icky monsters--my team, which will outnumber you, will go into the water first to offer their limbs. And that includes my fearless Jedi daughter, Madeleina, who will be 16 by then and doesn't have a fear quotient when it comes to jungle stuff.
    The June intensive is followed by an extension of three days, and then it's off to Cuzco and Machu Picchu. There will be more medicine--ayahuasca, sapo, nu-nu, San Pedro and probably some beautiful little sister magic mushrooms who can tickle you from the inside out--than you need, but enough to change your life.
   The July trip is a jungle intensive of 9 1/2 days that begins on July 12.
   Costs are outlandishly high, but if you consider that I have to fly down there, fly my daughter down there, pay for my hotel while I'm there, pay for my house while I'm here, pay 12 people an honest wage  (plus walking around money, plus food money) before I even take you into consideration--with your decent hotels, your cabins on the riverboat, the vigorish I have to pay the local police to allow us to enter the river we're finally getting to work on, or your food, or your flashlight batteries or your jungle boots and hammocks and mosquito nets--oh yeah, and you probably want decent sleeping sponge mats, eh? Well, given all that and your food and other expenses in Iquitos, well, the price is really half of what it should be. Just work overtime for a few years and you can make it up.
   Jungle intensive alone for either June or July is 9 1/2 days at $1900.
   Jungle intensive with 3 day extension in June (not available in July) is $2400.
   Jungle intensive, extension plus Lima/Cuzco/Sacred Valley/Machu Picchu is 21 days at $4400.
   Jungle intensive in July is 9 1/2 days for $1900.
A couple of hardship scholarships that will clip a few hundred off the tab are available.
   The trips are no baloney real jungle the way it really is. We'll feed you fantastically with the best fruit, veggies, beans, rice, plantains and a bit of chicken and fish--out in the jungle. And we'll take care of all of your costs but walking around money and a few meals--like 5 dinners and four lunches--for the full 21-day trip. But these are good trips. Maximum number of people is 12, and my jungle team comes to as many as 14, so, as noted, we will outnumber you. Which allows someone who eschews a hike one day in order to draw leaves or worms, to have one or two of my team with them to make certain that stinging ants don't ruin their day. And it allows someone with a hip replacement who cannot walk 5 miles to be able to do the one mile walk into pristine jungle at their own pace.
   Oh, and we have a wonderfully good time, while at the same time take your trip and your medicine with all seriousness.
   So like get in touch at peterg9 at yahoo . com, okay? (I'm told that's code for how to write an email address that won't attract bots--and even though I don't know what bots are, I know what botflys are and they are not fun. So just email me and sign on and then I'll give you my phone number and you can talk with me and see if you and I are right for one another. Some people prefer the luxury of lodges or fancy boat trips. I prefer a reasonable level of comfort but done in the real jungle with all the attendant adventure.
   So com'on already. Sign on and send the money and let me get it organized, okay?
Thanks for listening.
We'll now return you to your regular Gorman Blog.