Thursday, April 09, 2009

Madeleina's Birthday Again

Some of you have been reading this blog for maybe all three years it's been up. If you have then you have heard most of this story before. But still, it's my baby Madeleina's birthday again and I am just a dad in love with her. Not that she's perfect: She stopped being perfect when she learned I wasn't and called me on it. But then I never was....
So last night, just before dinner, while she and I and Sierra were feeding the goats and the Pig and Boots, the Wonderdog, she said, "Tell me the story of me being born again, dad..."
And so I said: "You mom and I were madly in love and we made you from that love..."
"I don't mean the boring parts, dad. I mean the night I was born..."
"Well, I was downstairs in Richter's bar and having a drink with Jerry. We knew she was going to break water soon, but I didn't think she'd do it that night so I said I was going for a drink and she could join me..."
"You suck! Mom was pregnant and you went drinking? What kind of father are you????"
"Um...well...she'd been saying it for a week and I was going crazy..."
"I don't even begin to forgive you but go on."
"Well, around midnight, I was high on Tanqueray gin--I haven't had a drop of that in 10 years, I swear--when mom called the bar saying her water broke."
"Her water broke? Broke? And she was alone?"
"No. She was with Italo and Marco and called me."
"They were 10 years old! How could you?"
"Well, that's just the way it was. And Jerry and Kenny and a couple of others called a cab while I got upstairs and called Chuck to watch Italo and Marco and then got Mom down to the cab and over to Lenox Hill Hospital."
"What about the cheeseburber part? Tell me that part..."
"Well, we got to the hospital and got admitted and then she was in a dark room that was kind of spooky and she was feeling down and they said the doctor would come in a couple of hours--they'd woken him up--and so I asked mom if she wanted a cheeseburger..."
"Dad, nobody asks a woman in labor if they want a cheeseburger! That's insane! You're nuts!"
"Yeah, but she said yes. Maybe just to get rid of me. We could see the crown of your head just beginning to stick out but we were near a taxi driver's dream of a burger place--I stopped there at 76 and Lexington ave 1000 times with my cab--and I knew they could put together a couple of burgers in three minutes. So I raced there, got burgers, then came back."
"What was mom doing?"
"Waiting for the cheese burger and screaming for pain killer. You were starting to come out, see, and I was trying to distract her, or maybe me, with the burgers. And she was mad because I didn't bring a shake. And that was good, because when she yelled at me she forgot the pain for a second..."
"You're not my dad! You're an angel from hell! You left mom to get burgers while I was coming out? How could you???"
"I had to. She was going nuts and I didn't know how to help her. And while she didn't eat the burger, she did have some onion rings."
\ "That is a lie! My mother did not have onion rings while I was coming out! That's a lie!"
"Might have been fries, but we had a good time snacking while we watched your head show up and then the doc finally came and mom was brought into the delivery room and the doc had a couple of bites of the burger and then said: "We'll, I'm drunk so stick your hand in there and pull your baby out. Don't pull the spine, you'll cripple her. Just let her come out naturally..."
"AND I was terrified but stuck my hand into that juicy stuff and put it under your shoulders and let you slide out...."
"He should be in jail! Who was he? Let's sue him!!!?"
"I don't think he was really drunk. I just think that's what they say to get the dads involved. In any event..."
"I know this part. I came out half way, looked straight up at you, opened my eyes and said 'Hep, hep', which you though was "Help, Help" and then you told me that it was too late, that I'd become flesh and couldn't go back to being spirit until my life here was over. How can I believe that if you're the same person who gave mom a cheeseburger while she was in labor?"
"Well, because it's true. You just looked straight up at me, didn't cry, just said 'Help,help, help' and I realized you were suddenly terrified when you realized you'd traded in spirit for flesh but I couldn't undo it and so I just started crying and said 'I can't undo your choice but I'll try to make you see it wasn't a bad one' or something like that."
"THe nurse, the only sane one of the group, must have thought you were nuts talking to a half-born baby that way."
"Probably, but I wasn't thinking of her right then. I was thinking of you and hoping I could be a good father and decent man, that's all."
"And when is that going to start?"
"Wise guy..."
"I'm your daughter, remember? Just like you..."
"I love you, baby. Happy birthday. You're 12 now. One more year and you're a teenager. Wow."
"And one more year or two and you collect social security or whatever that is, old man."
"Ah, baby. Such a wise guy. You'd have done well with the mob in NYC."
"I know, dad. Anybody who was born while their mom was eating a cheeseburger and fries is probably tough."
"You bet."
"Did she have ketchup on those fries?"
"That's not your business till you're 17. Meanwhile, happy birthday, Madeleina. I'm glad you're mine."
"Me too, dad."


Arbol said...

From Mandala, Lander, and I...We'd like to say "!!!HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!"
to such a wonderful girl.
Wish we could have spent more time with her. She is a wonderful, beautiful person, and we are so happy to have met her.
Hugs and Love to you and yours Peter. Miss you.

Gritter said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Gritter said...

I think that is my favorite one yet. Happy Birthday Madeleina from an Alabama friend you haven't met. Does she really say stuff like that to you Peter? I do hope so because it would mean she has great character. Wonder how that happened. Must have been mom ===or maybe the french fries ;-)

Morgan said...

Happy! Happy!
Birthday! Birthday!
Madeleina! Madeleina!
So glad you're on Earth! Yay!
Happy! Happy!
Birthday! Birthday!