Someone wrote me to say they'd had a difficult time the second time they drank ayahuasca. They'd run into some very negative spirits who scared the hell out of them and threatened them with continual negativity in their lives. But the person also said that someone else who drank that same night saw the same spirits and was just as frightened.
Full Disclosure: I'm terrified a lot of the time, just so you know. The person people see is just an act...
So the person asked two specific questions: How to tell the difference between an hallucination and a true vision; and could those spirits have been real, particularly given that someone else encountered them on the same night in the same space.
The woman wrote about two weeks ago. I just got to answering her tonight. I hope it's not a muddled answer. Here's what I wrote:
Dear X: Sorry it's taken so long to get back to you. I tend to ruminate on questions like these.
Your first question was how to differentiate between an hallucination and a vision. In my world the vision is the thing that, if you were given unlimited time and unlimited paper and had nothing to do but write down 10,000 things you might expect to see in a given circumstance--well, the vision would not be on that list. In other words, the vision is not something you've seen on television, read in a book, talked about with other people, imagined. It's something from a place outside of your experience entirely.
Things within your experience can certainly be visions as well, but things completely outside of the realm of your existence, well, they are definitely visions in my book.
Now, bad spirits. They exist. No question. They are, to our way of thinking, spirits, entities, angels, whatever you want to call them, who thrive on negativity, get fed by jealousy and avarice and have the same will to live as you or I or a flea or a cat or a flower does. They have the same spirit as all living things but have learned to live on a diet of negativity--a diet which would kill most of us.
How did that happen? I don't know. I was raised Catholic but I don't believe the Satan story. I do believe in negativity and have seen its results--just put a beautiful plant in a room and then scream negative things all the time. In short order, the best tended plant faced with a continuous barrage of hatred, will wilt and die. Put another plant in a room, sing to it, be joyful around it, have little kids running around playing in that room and watch it bloom.
The "bad" or "negative" spirits are the few who have learned to thrive in the negative environment--or despite the negative environment but who have adapted to it.
Why did you see it? Because it was there and you were somehow left vulnerable. Why did someone else see the same thing? Because it was there and they were vulnerable. I wouldn't be surprised if others in that medicine circle saw it, them, as well.
As a rule, a curandero knows that negative spirits will be attracted to the positive ceremony to disrupt it, to cause negativity, and will create an "arcana" arc or shield, around the space, through which no spirits, positive or negative or simply curious, can pass without the curandero/curandera's invitation. The stronger the curandero/curandera, the stronger the mesh of the arcana.
If the curandero is not strong enough to be certain his or her arcana will be fool proof, he or she might ask someone else to make a second arcana, around the first, to impede uninvited spirit intrusion into the space.
Not everyone serving ayahuasca has been schooled in this. I don't know who you drank with and don't want to guess, but if genuine negative spirits got into the space--and once there, into your space--someone was not entirely on the ball. They could have been distracted for a moment, they might have had other things on their mind, they might have forgotten to make their arcana or done it in a sloppy way--or they might not be ready to serve ayahuasca and call in spirits to help teach people. Whatever the reason, the curandero/curandera should have recognized the negative spirit the minute it entered the space, collared it and tossed it out. That that didn't happen disturbs me. For a person in ceremony to have to deal with their own negativity, their own negative spirits, that's one thing. For a negative spirit to come into a space and show itself to two people in ceremony means it wasn't just a negative aspect of you or the other person, but an outside negative spirit. And those cannot be allowed into that very vulnerable space. Too too too intimidating.
In terms of their specific threats to you: That you would be kept in a negative space and whatever else, ignore that nonsense. That's a ploy to keep you frightened and therefore vulnerable to future visits. If they come again, during ceremony or a dream, send them away. If they are strong, remember that you don't have a body in those other worlds--and are not constricted by a body--so make yourself huge and scare the hell out of them. If they are 50 feet tall, make yourself 1000 feet tall and step on them. If they come as a six-headed dog, become a 43-headed dog and eat them. They cannot do you harm in this reality or in any other unless you give them the power through your fear and vulnerability--just like any other bully. But just like any other bully who live off your fear, or jealousy or negativity, if you don't feed them that, they can't get anything from you.
So be strong. Don't be afraid, even in the moments when you are terrified. Hard, I know, but you can do it. Just breath, remember who you are and dispatch them.
Make sense? Probably sounds crazy but that's what I have to offer.
5 comments:
Show them who's the farking boss
and then heal them, prehaps.
I don't know how aya operats
But, in all basicallity it. is. just. energy.
All of Mr. Gorman's response makes so much clarity.
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