Tuesday, March 27, 2007

What It Feels Like to Win

Okay, so this is what it feels like when you've put a cover story to bed. It feels like making a great play at shortstop.
In all my life, even after 100, 200 cover stories, there have never been enough of them and each one has scared me to death. So today I finished one today for a paper with a staff full of prize-winning journalists who take their cover stories pretty seriously.
Anyway, despite all the deadlines I've had and deadlines I've made on cover stories over the years, each time one approaches I get cold. I start to sweat. I realize I have to clean the kitchen or feed the goats or give some quality time to my kids: anything but face a deadline on a cover.
Why? Because if you fuck it up you may never work for that mag again. And every person you work with at that mag or paper will move on and wherever they land they'll tell everyone that you blew a deadline and left a mag or newspaper with an empty front page they had to fill at the 11th hour with some drivel and so you're not to be trusted.
So I was fretting it again today, my stomach empty and aching the whole time I was going over it, filling in the blanks, making the last phone call interviews.
And then, maybe at mid-afternoon, I suddenly flashed on playing shortstop for the High Times Bong Hitters, our softball team in the New York Journalism League. I'd been with the magazine as an executive editor dealing with drug war issues for maybe 10 years before we put the team together. We had a couple of bad years, and then went wild in our third, going 17-0 and we followed that with either 16-1 or 17-0 again. In any event, we kicked ass against Playboy, Penthouse, The New Republic, The Nation, WBAI Radio, Fortune, Money and a host of other teams who had staffs of 100 or more to cull their team from. Us? We had a staff of six or so and then some part timers. We filled out the squad with pals who came to the games to drink a little of the lightly dosed LSD punch that somehow magically and frequently appeard on our bench, or smoke some weed that always seemed to appear at the right moment.
Anyway, after the first year with the Bong Hitters, Steve Bloom, our music editor, and a great one still, decided to manage and turned shortstop--where he was very good--over to me.
There were games where I was fine. We had one game where I was involved in 14 of the 21 outs in the game. There were also a couple of games where I blew a grounder through my legs or my arm froze with fear and I threw the ball way over first baseman David Peel's head two or three times. (Peel was a hippy/yippi/zippi who did some work with John Lennon and penned our Take Me out to the Bong Game song, written after Take me out to the Ball Game. (Take me out to the bong game, take me out to get stoned; buy me some reefer not crack or smack, I don't want that monkey on my back; and it's smoke, smoke, smoke for the home team, everybody get high; and it's one, two, three tokes your high at the old bong gaaaammmmeeeee!!!)
Anyway, I loved being part of that team and I loved that every magazine in town was coming at us with ringers, and I loved playing shortstop and in the middle of the action, tested constantly.
So today, while I was facing my fear of another cover story I could potentially blow like a missed popup, I remembered Peel's song, and then thought about the team, and then remembered how, in close games, at the end of close games I'd find myself thinking:"God, don't let them hit it to me. Please don't let them hit it to me." And on the heels of that another me would roar: "WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? YOU'RE THE SHORTSTOP. IF YOU DON"T WANT THE BALL WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE?????" And then I'd catch myself, and ask for the ball, even silently demand the ball.
And it always seemed to come my way. And those last two outs or that last play would always come at me in slow freaking motion. I nearly always pulled it off. And it felt great.
And so I remembered that today and finished the damned story and it's as good a story as a good play at shortstop.
After all, if you're gonna play shortstop or write cover stories, it's not expected that you won't be scared, but it is expected that at the last moment you will be praying to let it come to you. That way if you lose, you have only yourself to blame.
Ain't this a great life to be living? Even with all the junk? It's still the best.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Will the Real Indiana Jones Please Stand Up, Please Stand Up

Twenty years ago I did my first story for Penthouse magazine. I only did a couple altogether, but this was big because it was my first piece with a major magazine. Laugh if you want, but the magazine used to do two non-girl features a month, generally on drugs or sharks or strange and wonderful places in the world, and here I was, walking into their 65th Street and Broadway offices in New York City and showing them pictures of an indigenous group I'd spent a month with called the Mayoruna (I now call them the Matses, as they prefer that, with Mayoruna being an anthropological name given them) who lived on the border between Brazil and Peru in the very deep Amazon. They had tatoos around their mouths, wore bamboo splints in their upper lips and used achote pigment to color their faces, giving them the look of a jaguar. I'd immediately dubbed them the People of the Jaguar and I had these great photos my brother-in-law Steve Flores had taken of them on the trip we'd done together and I was in the Penthouse office with the head of Editorial and she was asking me if I'd be willing to go back to Peru with a photographer they'd pick. Despite loving the photos I had, she said, she simply couldn't be sure they weren't faked, so wanted photos done by a guy they used named Jeff Rotman. I said okay. My brother in law Steve has probably been angry with me ever since but nothing I was going to do was going to make them use his photos. They wanted their own guy taking photos in their style and that was that.
So they bought me a ticket, had Jeff flown in from Isreal, where he was shooting deep in the Dead Sea, handed me $4,200 bucks in expense monies and off we went. Jeff, whom I later learned was one of the top three or four underwater photographers in the world--and with whom I'd later do several other fantastic stories--took brilliant shots of the Matses, including the now-pretty-famous one of me, my teacher Moises Torres Vienna and two Matses men struggling to hold up a 21+ foot anaconda the Matses had just killed.
In the "coming next month" section of the issue that hit the newsstands just before the issue my story was to be in Penthouse referred to me as "The Real Indiana Jones." I wasn't of course. I was doing some pretty spectacular work in the Peruvian jungle at the time--I'd found the phyllomedusa bicolor and I was the first guy to use frog sweat and I was collecting Matses artifacts for the American Museum of Natural History and such, but it really wasn't Indiana Jones stuff. Actually, it was Moises Torres Vienna stuff, since he's the one who got me in and out of that green heaven/hell in one piece on a regular basis. Nonetheless they used the term.
Bob Guccione killed my story because he was hoping for human-eating indians and I didn't deliver them, so it never ran in Penthouse (it later ran in Shaman's Drum), but still, the term had been used on me in print and I've been failing to live up to it ever since.
And then, this morning, my friend Johan, a former client of mine on a trip to the Peruvian Amazon and one of only five or six people to whom I've ever awarded the Peter Gorman School of the Amazon's Soul Pilot's Licence, writes me to say that dailygrail.com has just described me in a link to a story I guest blogged for nprophet.com as "the real Indiana Jones". Unbelieveable, right?
So untrue. I mean, I'm just me. I'm a pretty cool middle-aged dad who happens to be a former editor in chief of High Times magazine, someone who'd been to some very wonderful places and done some pretty exotic things, and who has a pretty good reputation in northwest Amazonia, which I've criss-crossed on boats, on foot, and in small puddle-jumping aircraft a couple of dozen times. Still, it all seems pretty regular to me--with a few exceptions. One of those was being bit by a baby bushmaster in my bar The Cold Beer Blues Bar on the Port of Mastranza in Iquitos a couple of years ago. Another was being bitten by a member of the hobo spider family last year, which caused some pretty strange flesh eating in the muscle of my lower left leg and more strangely opened up nearly two dozen sympathy flesh-eating holes in my arms and legs when it all got septic. And I have been lucky enough to collect botanical specimens for Shaman Pharmaceutical, and really was the first to use the Matses' frog sweat and really did collect quite a bit for the American Museum of Natural History and find the first fossil bed in the region of Iquitos and so forth. But then all that was just part of me living my life, right? Nothing special about it to me, just the way I picked to go about living in this body.
But here's the thing: the Matses, and other indigenous groups have been so generous in sharing their secrets that I don't think I've really done anything except listen to them and take them seriously. If they say I should follow them into the woods, I do, without hesitation. There they show me the anaconda; or a group of large white collared peccary or fantastic plant medicines. And over the years I've done everything they've asked of me but for three things. One of those is to follow the fossil bed--which is located at the mouth of a creek that can only be seen in extreme low water season--to its source. Another is to follow the Yakirana all the way up into the Andes mountains, which is where the Matses say they came from; the third is to explore some pyramid shapes in the jungle that they tell me are very important.
And if I could do those things they really would be sort of genuine Indiana Jones adventures. They would require all the guts and gumption I've got coupled with using all the things I know about the jungle to pull off. They'd require some time, planning and funds. I am willing to make the time. I've already done the planning and could manage any of the three. But all of them would also take funds, and once you're raising kids, there simply are none. So some friends started The Gorman Foundation last year, a tax-deductable foundation, in the hopes that people would contribute and I could go do these possibly important explorations. Unfortunately, I don't know any people with money they don't need for next month's mortgage or rent. But I will. Someone must have more money and curiousity than time and experience and if they will give me some of the money I'll go take the time, utilize my experience and satisfy their curiousity. And when that happens, maybe, just maybe, I'll be worthy of the title that's been put on me not once, but twice in the last 20 years.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Short Note on San Pedro

Someone asked me about San Pedro, as they hadn't seen much on it in the literature. I've never really written about it, as I have ayahuasca, I thought I'd just give something brief.
Regards San Pedro, hmmm. I've been putting off writing about it for 15 years now, though Don Victor E. has been my teacher for that long and it is an extraordinary medicine. At the most basic level I'd say that San Pedro is a joyful spirit of vibrational change. In other words, if you're willing to drink three or four cups of the slimy stuff--like all master plant teachers she makes it difficult to take her physically (avoids accidents and abuse, I suspect)--she will lengthen and shorten the vibrations of things. Now put that in perspective of the basics of Wave theory--that all things are one energy moving in more dense waves or less dense waves, which causes us to perceive things differently: dense waves are seen as a rock for instance, while less dense waves are perceived as air. I'm not a physicist, so you just got the full extent of my knowledge on that one. But what I'm talking about is changing the way we see things. Shape-shifting. The only two master plant teachers I know who specialize in that are San Pedro and Peyote--and they're closely related. So what's to know about San Pedro? That in shifting your vision you will see things differently--and I don't want to go too much into that right now--but more importantly, Victor--like other San Pedro curanderos-is able to shift his vision to see where you need healing and then be able to go about healing you.
And if you're lucky, you'll be able to see that the rock he looks like he's running gently up and down your body is really a scalpel--in another reality--with which he is operating on you.
Don't let that last scare you, it's just quite an amazing thing if you get lucky enough to witness a psychic surgery.
Anyway, I'm not sure what else to tell you about it. San Pedro is an extraordinary spirit and teacher.
Just in case you were curious.

Damned Drug War Blues

You'd think that after being involved in the War on Drugs as a journalist for the past 20-something years I might be able to retire from it. Wouldn't that be nice. Yes, but not realistic. Not so long as hundreds of thousands of non-violent people are being busted every year for choosing to relax with something other than alcohol. And truth be told, if I'd have been better at my job we might have legalized the illegal substances by now.
So I guess I'm stuck in this becase I havn't succeeded yet.
There are still times you just want to throw up your hands. Like in Philly last month, when they banned Blunts. Not that you can't by cigars, you just can't buy them singly. And you can't by them in flavors. Is that ridiculous or what? Is that gonna keep someone, anyone, from smoking a bit of weed? Is that going to reduce crime, give you a little more take home pay, or do anything that will improve anyone's life?
And now in Minnesota and Michigan there are new bong bans in place. More than that, they're really bans on all drug paraphernalia. But to what end? For three months, until someone successfully challenges the new bans--which they will, because they always do--kids are going to have to make do with the bongs and rolling papers they already have. Or they're going to figure out how to put a piece of silverfoil over a glass filled with water and stick a straw through it to make their own pipes. But again, the ban isn't going to do anything but put a few hippy glass-blowers on hard times for a couple of months. And the people enacting these laws don't make any pretense that they're being enacted to stop pot use or crack use or whatever. They freely admit they enact these laws because it "looks bad" to have shops openly selling products that cater to people who might use illegal substances when there are laws against the substances themselves.
And of course, none of those laws have ever kept anyone from using those substances either.
So sometimes I just want to throw my hands in the air. Just nonsense. And a waste of your tax dollars. And a waste of human life for those caught in the gears. And a horror for a country that professes to value individuals and individualism and freedoms.
And then, once in a while, something good happens that makes me want to shout YES!
And that happened just last week, when Tyrone Dwayne Brown, serving life in Texas, was given a pardon by governor Rick Perry. Brown, known on the street as T-Baby, was a hell-raiser and a thug as a young teen. Regularly sent to special schools and juvenile jails for car-theft and a host of other crimes, at 17, he was busted for aggravated robbery. He got 10 years deferred for that, one of the conditions of which was peeing in a cup for drug tests. Two months into the program he failed and had his probation revoked. At his court date on the probation violation the judge decided he’d had enough and sentenced him to aggravated-life. Though it wasn’t marijuana that caused his initial problems, Brown may well be the only guy in the whole country ever sentenced to life for failing a urine test.
And just last week, after serving 16-years of that sentence, he walked out of prison a free man.
About fucking time.
Anyway, with all the other people in prison and jail and whose lives are ruined over pot and other essentially harmless substances by laws meant to put the screws to anyone who doesn't tow the status quo line, and with legislators coming up with lame ass paraphernalia laws not intended to stop crime but to be window dressing on a failed war on drugs, well, I guess I just can't quit yet. So I keep plugging along, running a column called Drug War Follies in Skunk magazine and writing features for Marc Emery's Cannabis Culture, and the occasional piece for High Times.
But I sure wish we'd legalize and I could get onto other things.

Monday, March 19, 2007

For Story Readers, An Archive

My friend Phoenix, who suggested, then pushed, then insisted I start this blog--and when I wouldn't set it up for me--came up with the idea of putting some of my stories on line in an archive. I resisted, of course, probably because I'm lazy and falsely modest. But then I thought about it and it was, in fact, a good idea. Over the years I've covered stories in India, Morocco, Mexico, Peru, Colombia, Ecuador, Chile, Canada, the US and much of Europe. I've had the good fortune to have interviewed a couple of dozen of the most interesting people, from Albert Hofmann to Richard Schultes to Wade Davis to Brownie Mary Rathbun to Dennis Peron. I've covered the War on Drugs for more than 20 years--primarily for High Times magazine--from political, social, economic and personal angles. I've written about sharks and plant medicines, cocaine factories and missionary plane shootdowns. I've done ceremony with the Southern Utes and the Matses Indians and Julio Jerena and other ayahuasqueros, and San Pedro in the Andean Highlands.
This isn't meant to be bragging: every journalist, if they hang around long enough, winds up covering a lot of territory, and each time you hit a new topic you've got to learn about that topic deeply enough to be able to explain it--briefly--to your readers, in a clear enough fashion that they will be interested in what you've got to say about it or report on it.
And some of those topics you only cover once: You write one story, a feature piece for some magazine, and it runs, and then it's gone. You might have spent weeks on it and it's on the newsstand for all of a month.
So Phoenix suggested that it might be fun to put up some of those stories in an archive and let readers access them--in some cases 20 years since they've been in print.
I agree. So Phoenix has begun putting up the first couple of categories of stories on a page with the url petergormanarchive.com
So far he's got about a dozen stories from Peru and maybe half-a-dozen from India. I'm still searching for several more from India: they, like all of my work prior to 1992 were written on an IBM typewriter and so are not found on my disks. But I'll find them and slowly get some of them into the computer. And in the next several weeks Phoenix will post some hilarious stories about taking exotic drugs in exotic places, some stories about working with ayahuasca, some interviews, the stories I've been doing for the Fort Worth Weekly the past couple of years, drug war stories and a host of others that don't quite fit into any category.
In any event, if you like reading--though not all of these are brilliant writing by any means--I think you'll find some good material at petergormanarchive.com
And if you don't find anything interesting up today, go back in a week and see what else has gone up.
And tell your friends.

Friday, March 16, 2007

Couple, Ten Years Ago in New York City

This is one of those odd stories that only happen in New York. I was reminded of it just yesterday when we were in the midst of an oppressive rain here in Joshua, Texas and my daughter, 9, asked me to recount it in all its lurid details. I did and she laughed her head off. Then she asked me if I had put it on the blog. I told her I hadn't. She suggested I should. So here it is--and forgive me if you can.


Couple or ten years ago in New York City. It was a day in late Spring. It started off chilly and rainy, so people throughout the city were wearing either winter coats and carrying umbrellas or their Burbury rain coats. As the day wore on the rain continued but the temperature rose, so that by the evening rush hour everything and everyone in Manhattan--and probably the rest of New York--was damp to the bone. The whole city sort of smelled like a wet dog.
I left the High Times office and headed down to Union Square to catch the Lexington Avenue express subway; three stops and I'd get off at 86th street and walk on home to our place on 90th and 3rd.
The subway platform was crowded: the winter coats and umbrellas had people taking up twice their normal space. Worse, the dog-hair smell of wet wool and dampness was worse down there under the city streets. It was all just sort of thick and I just wanted to get on home to my wife and kids, make some dinner and then take Chepa out for a couple of beers and a game of darts--you know, give her an hour away from the kids, catch a buzz...
The train came into the station already crowded, but none of us were going to wait for another so we pushed into the cars like self-motivated cattle just itching to get into the slaughter house. To my surprise, the door I got into, the one at the front of the car, had a small open space in it. In the corner seat, a seat meant for two, there was a street guy. He was filthy. I mean, looked like he'd rolled around in someome's muck, his nose running into an untamed beard, his clothes foul. No one sat next to him, the only square inch on that train that wasn't overcrowded.
Well, I thought he probably felt bad about that so I pushed my way through several people and took the seat. I never sat on trains, but I thought it better if I lent this guy a hand: he probable already felt so estranged from the human race that having an empty seat on a train so crowded you couldn't breathe next to him only made him feel worse. So I sat.
It wasn't a great move: He smelled like urine and vomit. I wanted to move, of course, but since I'd been so freaking high and righteous about taking the seat in the first place just to make him feel less disincluded I couldn't then get up and leave.
The train was moving slowly, partly due to the normal rush hour train-traffic-jams that happen in New York, but exacerbated by the rain and the time it was taking people to get on and off with their thick coats and all those umbrellas. We made 42nd street, took on as many new passengers as we dropped off, then headed for 59th. Same thing: as many new people as we lost. The train was simply packed. Except for the area directly in front of me and the bum, a little buffer zone which the fancy dans gave us because of the stink of my seatmate.
Inexplicably, just as we left the 59th street station we came to a halt. We sat probably for three minutes before the conductor said there was a holdup at the 86th street station and we'd be stuck for several more minutes. Not pleasant, given the wet-dog smell in the car and the guy next to me.
Another minute went by and then a new smell entered the car: it was as if someone had passed gas, but it wasn't just a little fart. This was something thick and malodorous, something from the bowels of a vulture. This was rotten meat and sickness, a revolting mix of dead animal carcass and human intestines that hadn't been cleared for years. I nearly threw up. And worse, it didn't go away. It rose like a heavy fume and spread like a stratus cloud from my end of the car down to the other, malevolently poisoning the already damp and thick air with the fumes of hell. People began to turn to look for the source. One by one, three by three, ten by ten: as the foetid cloud spread throughout the car everyone turned toward the little corner in which my associate and I sat, until nearly 200 pairs of eyes were staring at us, glaring at us, wondering why we'd done what we did to them. It was, perhaps, the thickest, worst stink I'd ever known.
The people nearest us covered their noses and mouths with the lapels of their coats and pushed back to get further away from us. Others began to open the car's tiny windows. Still others, deeper in the car, began to openly ask: "Who the fuck did that?" and things of that nature. People were angry.
And then, in a moment when the stink reached its apex and no one in the car dared breathe, when the car grew perfectly silent as people debated ever breathing again, the man next to me suddenly turned in my direction and broke the silence. In a deep, resounding, clear voice, he suddenly said: "I don't know what you had for lunch, but that is awful..."
And in that moment, all eyes shifted from our corner to just focus on me. I'd never felt such animosity. I wanted to stand and shout: "That wasn't me! I tried to give this guy dignity and this is what I get??? You all can't believe this foul foul odor came out of me, can you?"
I couldn't, of course. It was too late for that. It was tag and I was it.
The train began to slowly move. No one took their eyes off me, as if they were afraid that if they did I might do something even worse. It was one of the longest 3 minutes of my life, waiting to reach 86th street. And when we did I didn't dare move until all of the others were off the car; several waited and hit me with umbrellas. Others called me names. I turned to look at my lying former companion just before I reached the stairs. He was looking right at me. He winked.
It's been a couple, ten years and I still havn't forgotten him.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

In Case Any of You Decide to Join a Trip of Mine

In case any of you might ever want to join me on one of my trips to the Amazon--and some people actually do, if you can imagine that--this is part of a letter I just wrote an April group and will give you an idea of what to bring and what the basic rules of the trips are.

As to things to bring: I'll send the official list in a couple of days. I've been told that it's hopelessly male-oriented, so I'll try to correct that and suggest a makeup mirror, and other girly things--though I'm sort of lost because I am not a girl; anyone who can help, help--otherwise, just know when you get the list that some women have complained they miss certain things and then add them as you know how.
But the key is that this trip does not require you to buy 500 bucks of jungle clothes. Mostly I want loose, comfortable shorts and shirts; a windbreaker, a couple of pairs of old sneaks, a flashlight, personal hygene kit, one long sleeved shirt and at least two long loose pairs of pants, socks you can tuck your pants into during ceremony, a hat, any food needs you have to have (like your own stash of pistachios or fruit roll-ups). Keep it simple and know that we can buy anything you need in Iquitos pretty cheaply so if you come without a bag we can probably outfit you for the whole trip for 100 bucks.
NO NEED to buy fancy boots: In the jungle we use highish rubber boots for walking in muck and I'll provide those. I'll also provide flashlights for those who forget them, hammocks/mosquito nets, towels, soap, blankets and so forth. So don't get carried away. IF you want to, that's fine, but it's not necessary. You want a machete? We'll pick one up for you in Belen's market. So you're covered.
If, on the other hand, you've got something you love doing, like bird watching, then bring your own binocs. I've got a group pair but it's not meant to be hogged by anyone. If you're an artist, bring your own sketch pad as Iquitos doesn't have good ones. It doesn't have good sketch pencils either. Fair warning. But Iquitos does have good, cheap internet, phones, wonderful things to buy (so bring a few bucks of mad money), inexpensive emergency cameras/ film, batteries, medications, shampoo, rain ponchos.....so don't sweat the small stuff.
Now: Four quick rules for those who havn't heard them. For those who have, I apologize for boring you.
Rule #1: There is no requesting, teasing, buying cocaine. You do it you are off the trip. I've lost too many friends caught in the middle over that one down there. It's available but not if you're with me.
Rule #2: No asking about marijuana. I'm much too hot a political character down there, or fashion myself that, to have my rotten reputation further ruined by having shoeshine boys tell the US DEA that my groups smoke pot. I can handle what you need but go through me. We will already have more medicine than you need, I promise, and you can smoke a joint at home. Please go along with me on this one.
Rule #3: NO sex with anyone/anything younger than 18. I'm not going to go to jail for you, okay? Iquitos is a very hot place, very sexy. In my world you should be able to do anything you like with any consenting dog, cat, crocodile or whatever so long as you are both adults. In my world adult is 18. That's a fixed rule.
Rule #4: If I do anything you don't like, or anything sucks in your opinion, or if something, anything is bothering you, you must tell me. You may not keep it in and bring us all down with a seething, bad attitude. You can simply tell me or, if you're shy or not full of words, just come up to me and punch me in either arm, between the elbow and shoulder, as hard as you need to get my attention, and then tell me what's wrong. I promise to try to rectify it. But no stinking pouting cause you don't like the rice. Just punch me and the next night I'll have spaghetti instead of rice, okay?


The opening and closing of the missive was directed at this group in particular and had to do with medications, diets, special needs, arrival times and so forth and wouldn't have been interesting to those not on a trip. But I think the rules are legit and should steer you well regardless of where you travel.
So get out there and see the world, won't you? It's all messed up but still so very very wonderful for the most part.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Gas Well Madness

I live in Joshua, Texas. That's right smack in the middle of what's called the Barnett-Shale. What that indicates is that I live atop a 5,000 square mile area of shale that's packed with natural gas. I only live on 1.39 acres of it, but still, I'm there. When natural gas was going for $2.50 a whatever, nobody wanted to drill here. Now it's near $7.00 and the landsmen came around and signed us all to leases of our gas rights. Everybody in the region--from Hood County to Parker, Denton to Tarrant to Wise to Johnson--got about $500 an acre in a signing bonus and a piece of the action. Politically correct, you could turn that down but they could still collect the gas from under your land--having to pay you a small piece of it--but you'd simply miss the bonus.
Everybody signed.
Now here's the crazy part. The Railroad Commission in Texas controls gas and oil drilling. They set the standards of how the drilling, collecting and transmission is done.
But the RR Commission is a state wide thing and the Barnett Shale is only a half dozen or so out of more than 100 counties in Texas (though I think we're bigger than Vermont), so the RR Commission doesn't pay much attention.
So here's the deal: Statewide, there are no regulations as to how far a well has to be from an inhabited building. There are no regulations in place that force a pipeline company to produce a record of where its pipes are except to the Railroad Commission and to the property owner. The first responders, the firemen and HASMAT, the people who will come to your aid during a gas fire/explosion, have no idea where the pipelines are. I'm not just talking about the pipelines from the well to the well head. I'm not just talking about the lines from the well head to the collection lines. I'm not even just talking about the transmission lines that are interstate that carry the gas. I'm talking about all of them. There are no regulations in place.
So when you ask HASMAT what they would do as first responders in the event that a well placed two hundred feet from a housing development explodes they say "Put your finger in the air, figure out where the wind is blowing, and go the other way. And don't start your car if you think the leak is near you because the spark will set the gas off."
That's the official word.
And when asked if lines can run under an apartment complex, they say, "Yes, but we wouldn't know that because there is no need to register those lines."
Sound's incredible for something that can blow a football-field- sized hole 20 feet deep in the ground when the wrong spark hits the gas, eh? And sounds incredible that someone digging a new well doesn't necessarily know where someone else's pipelines are.
Just yesterday, a fellow digging a ditch for a new natural gas line hit and ruptured an existing propane gas pipeline, which sparked, exploded and set off explosions in two other lines that no one knew were underground in the area--an area not far from Fort Worth proper. Fortunately, it was farmland and no one was hurt. But if the same thing happened under a condo with 300 families living in it? Baked beans, baby, and lots of human sausage.
And no one is working on the possiblity of it happening. Yet there are more than 600 gas wells within the city of Fort Worth and maybe 1,400 more will be drilled in the next few years. We are the hot bed area of natural gas, after all. And if someone in the Railroad Commission, or if a mayor or governor hasn't got the guts to demand that pipelines be laid deeper than two feet underground and that they not be near habited buildings and that the local fire department and HASMAT have a computerized picture of where these lines and wells are, well then we are just waiting for a human fish fry.
Sounds like it would take about 10 minutes to fix, eh? Just pass out blueprint gps's of where these things are and make the people laying them go around buildings.
But nobody is willing to say the Chief is running around town naked because they're all so in awe of the monies these wells are bringing in.
So when you read about 50 families being blown to kingdom come, and I hope you don't, but I think it's inevitable, well, remember that they could have avoided it at a very very little cost: The cost of a couple of copies of their information and the occasional cost of going around a building instead of under it.
Aaaarrrrrgggggghhhhh. All for money, right honey?

Dicey on the Edge Sometimes

I've been writing about Texas corruption for the last couple of years, and it's got some friends of mine worried that might end up finding myself on the short end of the stick with the local police one of these days because of it. I hope not. I generally like to think that if you're in the open and honest, you'll be too visible to bother with. Smuggle in plain sight, is the phrase. Of course, other people say that's silly: That if you're in the open you're just an easier target.

In either event, twice in the last week things have come up that have sent shivers up my spine a bit. One was that someone I interviewed on one of the corruption stories I wrote has a problem involving her husband. The basics of the story was that recently he was working late, forgot to bring any cash with him, and when he knocked off he called a friend to borrow a few bucks. The friend, according to the woman, said he was at a certain house and so the guy went there. Must have written the address down wrong because the woman who answered the door called the police--it was night and she was scared--and the husband, who already has a record, was charged with "burglary of a habitat". Despite there being no burglary, no break-in, no nothing but a knock on the door. Unfortunately, but tough break of the worst kind in Texas. Burglary of a habitat carries 2-20 on a first offence in this state; with his record it'll be 25-life and this is one time I believe his story.
So the wife calls and asks me to go over to talk to the woman with her, to ask her why she made the charge--the police bullied her, she thinks--and to reconsider it.
And there I am, hair curling, thinking, I'd love to help out here but this is a woman who's husband is in trouble. I'm a journalist who's not on anybody's favorites list here in this state, and she wants me to go to the home of a woman so cowable that she can be talked into leveling burglary charges on a man who knocked on her door at 10 at night. She certainly, by extention, could level charges against us for threatening...so it smelled bad and I had to refuse to go there. Feel sort of chicken but think this one is too likely to land me in hot water in a place where at least some people would love to see me scald.
And then this week I'm getting emails out of the blue from a woman who admits she's been in drug trouble for 30 years and claims she's now being forced to have regular sex with an undercover DEA man under threat of her being charged with a crime she had nothing to do with. Again, this is Texas and not impossible she'd be convicted just on her record.
And this woman suddenly absolutely needs to meet with me. I should come to her house and pick her up in my car as she doesn't have one. Again, I'm thinking, just too easy a set up: There's Gorman in the dope dealer's house, or there's Gorman with a dope dealer in his car and she's holding...and the next thing you know I'm charged with conspiracy, which doesn't have to involve any dope or anything substantial at all.
So I'm going to meet her right now, over at a local coffee shop. Outside, in the sunshine. Don't know if this is a good choice, but she might have a legit story.
But I ain't holding no packages for her, tell you that.

COUPLE OF HOURS LATER: Nothing happened. She didn't show. So much for dicey. More like mushy.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

So Who the Heck Are You?

Okay, so it's Sunday night and I had a couple of Jim Beams (ice, straight up) at a fairly nearby joint while I watched Kansas beat Texas a couple of hours ago and I wasn't really happy about that because I think Texas has more talent. I was at the joint chewing Buffalo Wings with Chepa, my wife/ex-wife, my daughter Madeleina, her friend Shelby who's been at my house for two days on an extended sleep-over, and Sierra, Chepa's new baby, who at 15 months can raise all the hell I've been trying to raise for 55-years.
And then it struck me: I'm getting two, three hundred hits on this blog weekly, which is a nice, small, but actual number. But none of you are responding to my posts. What's going on? In the last month I've written about ayahuasca and pregnancy, peccarys in the Amazon, Johnson County, my teacher, Julio Jerena's death, my sister's birthday and a couple more things that are not of ordinary significance.
And nobody responds. You all think this is normal stuff to talk about?
Yo! This is Gorman, from Queens, New York. Whitestone, to be exact. 21st Avenue between 149 and 150 street. So start talking mothafus. Let's hear what you have to say about peccarys in the Amazon.
Out.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Line in the Sand

So my oldest son's girlfriend lives with us. Italo is 21 and Sarah is 19 so it works for me. She's a good gal and a great influence on my daughter Madeleina, who's nine--going on 36--but who needs female influence. Madeleina's mom, my wife/ex-wife (separated 9 years, not divorced because we can't agree on me having sole custody of Madeleina, and I am not going to put my kids on the stand and ask them to talk bad about their mom, who is sometimes fantastic, sometimes a rotten egg, but always smart and funny, except to me) lives just down the road a couple of miles, and Madeleina stays with her a couple of days a week, but truth is Madeleina lives with me and my son Italo and Sarah and so Sarah is a great influence. Smart, hep, girly but still a tomboy, it's the kind of day-to-day influence a little girl needs to get comfortable in her skin.
So four or five days ago Sarah, who helps around the house but is anything but a nosy nanny, gets it in her head that the two feet by twenty feet of dirt in front of our front porch but behind the walkway to the big (couple of acres) yard is a mess and needs fixing up. She was right, of course. Our house is maybe 5 feet below the road, which is forty feet in front of it. So when it rains the rain collects directly in front of our porch and kills everything, leaving the two foot patch a stinking mess.
So the other day Sarah spends a couple of hundred bucks and buys maybe four bushes and 20 annuals (mostly daffodils) and a couple hundred pounds of outdoor potting soil and has me soak the clay and then mix the potting soil with the clay there and then goes and does this gorgeous job of planting those flowers like a $300-buck-an-hour landscape artist and the next thing you know that little patch of nothing is the brightest spot in Johnson County, Texas. I mean, I was just flat out thrilled. And then, to top it off, she bought a couple of hanging basket flower pots full of gorgeous stuff and swears she'll take care of it.
I had to ask Italo if Sarah was pregnant. Know what I mean, right? This is nesting stuff and I don't mind being a grandpa but I figure he should let me have a couple more of mine before I get to be grandpa, more or less.
She's not.
So the next day, Sarah says she's passed a nearby farm that has some baby goats for sale and would I buy one.
After the work she did, how could I say no?
We bought three. I told her to name two and just call the other one meat, so that when I barbeque it we'll be saying: "Meat's good," rather than "Little Babykins' leg is so tasty," which would be unacceptable. I got punched three times in the upper arm, really hard, for that one.
Then Sarah realized that the last two feet of the little garden she'd planted, the part in front of the porch that sort of matches the steps but is past the porch fence, was kind of open. So she asked me to buy her a rock to put there.
So I went and bought a 438 pound rock and me and Italo and my other son, Marco, who has a broken hand in a cast, managed to put it in perfect positon.
Then Sarah realized that our little chicken coop could use some egg laying chickens and borrowed some bucks and went and bought eight little hens, a bunch of straw and some vitamins, along with a huge tank for water as we've no water line out to the chicken coop house (which is very nice, with eight little chicken bunks and a high triple-fence to keep possoms, dogs and other chicken eating animals out).
So our house has been busy and is like perfect for an 80 grand house, what with dogs, cats, lots of cardinals (not ours but they live here) and blue jays, goats, chickens and a flying squirrel (very playful, but only at night). And then this morning, just after feeding the goats and before the final placement of the rock, she suddenly says: "You know, Mister Peter, if we had a cow....."
I cut her off. "Don't think so."
"But I was thinking..."
"I know darlin. But this is what we call a line in the sand."
"What's that?"
"You know. A line you can't cross. I can't do a cow right now."
And that was it. You got to draw a line somewhere.
Not in Sarah's world.
"Okay then. I'll just get a couple of ponies. And after you get used to them you won't mind a cow at all."
Ahhhh. Ain't life grand?
I'm lucky to be living it.

Friday, March 09, 2007

Someone Asked Me About Land In Iquitos, Peru

Okay, so someone asked me if they could buy land in Peru. The answer, just five years ago, would have been no, unless you were a Peruvian. Heck, I bought a house, a motorbike, opened a bar, even a bank account and none of them could be in my name in the old days. All were in the name of my wife, a local Iquitos witch/wonderful woman, depending on how I felt loved/unloved on a given day, or my kids, local locals. But we did buy a house, next to the house my wife/ex-wife mostly grew up in, in Iquitos in 1996 or 7 when my mother-in-law was diagnosed with cancer and while in Lima for treatment for her my second, Vinicio Marco, came up with failed kidneys. Both survived, fantastically, and to bond the family I bought this little house. Later, I bought land for my kids, in their names, and I don't think anything can be sold on it till my daughter Madeleina, now nine, reaches the age of consent in Peru, which I think is 16 or so.
Given that, here's the answer to the question I was asked about land in the region of Iquitos and what it might cost.

There is a road that runs from Iquitos to a town called Nauta. Nauta, like Iquitos, has no roads running into it, so this road, which took from 1972-2006 to complete (90 kilometers, and with the help of the US Army Corp of Engineers) runs from river-accessable city to river-accessable city.
The government, in the hopes of people populating the area, began giving away land grants 30 years go. People who actually lived on the land were finally given title.
Several years ago a friend of mine/my families (his name is Chicken Head), who was about 40 years old, lost his dad. But his dad had several properties given out by the government on the Iquitos/Nauta road. When he needed money he asked if I wanted to buy some of his dad's land. I did, and purchased about 600 acres of pristine high jungle 15 kilometers off the Iqu/Nauta road at kilometer 34 for $2,000 US. Paperwork was another $2,000. Making signs that you need for the land was another $500. Clearing a three meter strip all around the land was another $1,000, and building a house/kitchen/bathroom on the property was another $1,500. But all that needs doing or the government takes the land away. So the cost is not high, but in the end it's several thousand dollars. And since that property is in the newly created Mishana Reserve, no trees may be taken from it, and only 10 acres may be cleared for study/living.
The new parcel, a second one I bought yesterday, also came from Chicken Head. This time he's in jail--wrongly accused, I believe--and he was offered a deal to buy his way out after a couple of years inside with no conviction yet. So he got in touch with a friend and passed the word that he had about 20 hectares, near 50 acres, on kilometer 14, just one kilometer off the Iquitos/Nauta road--with two lakes, a year round stream, high jungle, great trees--that he needed $2,000 for. So I paid that, sent another $500 for the paperwork, another $500 for who knows what, and will spend another $2000 on a house, demarcation and such. So what it goes for is about $100 bucks an acre after all is said and done. At least at kilometer 14. Cheaper, a lot, at kilometer 34, which is a very long way from Iquitos.
A house on one of the properties should be done by the time I arrive next month with guests, and after we visit Sachamama for a night I'll invite them all to come spend a night at one of the places. And do ceremony there, if people are up for it. It should be great.
ASIDE: Other land, like in the city, is very inexpensive, but only relatively. I bought a house that's 5 by 8 meters (16 feet by 25 feet) built Brazilian style (high quality: the shutters still whoosh after fifty years in that climate when you close them) for $8,200 in 1996. It's now worth about $20,000 and it's five blocks off the main square on the single toughest block (on the oldest port in Iquitos) in the city--in my opinion. A friend of mine recently bought a house with no walls (both side walls belonged to the neighbors), no roof, no back wall and an incomplete front wall, with dirt floors 18 blocks off the square (5 meters by 20 meters), for $6,000.
And there is a house I want that's 25 meters by 25 meters, all Portugese tile on the two floor exterior, French wrought iron work (done by imported French wrought Iron workers during the rubber boom) with mahogany flooring and huge windows not far from the square that would only cost $200,000. I think for cash they'd go for $160,000. Unfortunately, I'm a $2,000 type of buyer so it's out of my league. But I sure would like it.
Now I said the costs were relative. Here's why. It doesn't have so much to do with the buyer having the dollars. Lots of gringos appear in Peru with a couple of hundred thousand in the bank, or available if they sell their home. What it really comes down to is: How are you, a gringo, going to live in Peru? How will you continue to make money? I owned a bar/restaurant. We did well. We made a couple of hundred US bucks a week, and that's hard in Iquitos. But my wife/ex-wife and the extended family numbered 23. Which meant 23 one dollar meals three times a day, plus clothes, medicines, and so forth. Food alone cost $70 daily or $490 weekly. So what was our $200 bar profit in the face of that?
So how will a gringo make money. Off other gringos? Yes, but there are not many gringos in Iquitos. Most come and go on tours and don't spend a lot of time there. Those that do generally are dealing with their own extended families and so don't have a pot to piss in. And if they make any money at all, like a couple of hundred bucks a week, well, that's living Peruvian style. Nice Peruvian style, but not gringo style. Not taking the family out and blowing $50 US bucks on a meal now and then. Not buying a moped or car. Not having a nice house.
So while the figures appear low, unless you have a source of income that does not depend on Peru--either gringos or locals--you quickly find that all your money has disappeared. And that's without an extended family. Unless, of course, you're one of the few gringos who goes completely native, moves into the jungle, and lives on yucca and plantains.
But if you have a family and if you occasionally buy them sneakers or sox or underwear--which is only decent, after all--and feed them three times daily, you'll find that your basic needs in Iquitos are minimally $1,000 weekly. I spent more than that while living there. Heck, we rented two houses, and staffed them, just to take care of the street kids my wife/ex-wife brought in--all of whom were cousins/friends/orphans who basically lived on the street on our block at the port.
So what I'm getting at is that this ain't Cabo. This is the jungle. And while there are no sharks who will take a leg off in one bite, there are a million piranas who can nickel and dime you till the flesh is as gone as if a shark took it.

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Icaros, Rock 'n Roll and There I Am, Sobbing

It's not often that I'll be writing about music. I'll leave that for the experts, like my friend Steve Bloom--his blog is on the main page, check him out--but every now and then....
Today I was coming home from a meeting at the Fort Worth Weekly, my steadiest gig. It's our local alternative paper and run by a great gal, Gayle Reaves, whose won not only a Polk Award in journalism but a Pulitzer too. We're a good paper.
So I finish the weekly meeting and am headed home down I-35 from Fort Worth to Joshua. I start singing Icaros, ayahuasca songs. A new one started to come out of me but I got distracted by failing brakes on a busy highway and I couldn't get it back. So I turned on the radio to a local rock station and just then they're starting Free Bird. Wasn't a song I found fabulous in the day--I was just a little too old for it, having been weaned on Dylan, The Spencer Davis Group, The Blues Project (a brilliant NYC group that I often saw at the Cafe Au GoGo as a 15-16 year old), The Yardbirds and later Cream (whom I also saw in concert at The Cafe Au GoGo in NY's Village), BB King and so forth. But lately I've come to appreciate that the guitar solo in Free Bird is not only possibly the greatest guitar solo ever done but very moving.
So it came on today while I was upset over losing a new icaro and there I was, singing along, and then suddenly there I was, sobbing. And I mean sobbing. I was sobbing for my frind Julio, my ayahuasca maestro and friend for nearly 25 years who just died; for my friend Chuck who just had a heart attack; for who knows what else. But if anyone was looking into my 94 Ford Ranger extended cab open window they would have seen me singing and sobbing for sure. And the dj followed that up with Living in the Free World, and Neil Young's lyrics were searing and I kept sobbing for the next several miles.
When that finished I turned the radio off and went back to ayahuasca icaros and kept sobbing. Ayahuasca is good medicine. Very deep. It needed to clean something out of me today. And when the modern world got in the way of the spirit world, well, rock 'n roll lent a hand. Between them they cleaned out something that I'd been holding in and needed to let go.
What a freaking wonderful ride home that was. I feel like I took a shower from the inside out.

Monday, February 26, 2007

Texas: I Moved Here?

So five years ago my wife left New York for Texas. Left me as well. The issue I had with that, other then the fact that I thought we had this great marriage, was that she also left our two boys with me and took our daughter with her. In her Amazon basin upbringing mentality that was okay: The woman took the girl, left the boys with the man. What's the problem?
None, except that that's not how it works in my working class Irish-American mindset. You want to quit the family, you quit the family. But you don't get to take one of my children along with you.
That said, when she didn't return after a couple of months my boys told me that if we wanted to get Madeleina back we'd have to move to Texas. So we did, and sure enough, mom had no problem letting Madeleina live with us so long as we were near Fort Worth, where she'd settled to be near her three sisters, also from the Amazon.
It's complicated but in that matriarchial culture, that's the most important thing: That the women live near one another. Going back three generations, to indigenous life, the sisters would likely all be wives of the same man.
That's another story, although an interesting one. Today I just want to note something about Texas that I find insane but seem to be taken for granted by the locals. Maybe thats because I'm from New York where most minor infractions are overlooked by most cops most of the time. Here in Texas it's a different story.
For instance: My son Marco, 18-years-old and a senior at the local high, has been late to school 11 times since August 17. Some of that's just being a teenager, most of it relates to his mom and me being separated and her having a new baby and him living at her house recently and him having to help her out and get the baby to one of her sister's homes, or my home, after she's gone to work and before he goes to school. No big deal. When he's late he's averaging less than 10 minutes late. So all told, in the last seven months he's been late less than two hours, and most of that comes from helping his mom or me.
Nonetheless, Texas law proscribes him having a 3rd degree misdemeanor charged against him. So he and I received notices that we had a Feb. 26 court date. So we went. The local judge, Judge X, is a former policeman who for four years worked undercover with the local multi-county narcotics squad. He's also an actor, and when he enters the courtroom he announces as much. "I'm in a new show over in so and so, so forgive my long hair."
And then he begins to talk to the roomful of kids and parents--all of whom are there because of lateness or absences from school--about how he used to be in the Narc squad. "I used to cut school. My parents would leave me off at the front door and I was the first one out the back. And I hung out with a crowd that did things, bad things. You should know the things I used to do. I should have been dead or in jail before I was 18, so don't think you've done anything I didn't used to do..."
He goes on a while, proud of himself. I sit there thinking that I too used to do those things. I too was lucky that I didn't wind up in jail or dead. We all are. But we all didn't become narcs and turn around and spend years trying to land our former friends in jail. Or land people who did what our friends did in jail. We didn't become judges and tell kids we were taking their driver's licenses away because they were late for school one day more than was allowed this year. We didn't threaten 12 and 13 year old school kids' parents with $500 dollar fines--I was fined $190 last year by the same judge--or order random drug tests on youngsters--as he did today, threatening to take kids from their parents if cocaine or meth was found in their systems.
And then, we didn't all charge each parent a $78 dollar court cost on top of the fines. More than 30 kids were called today for the 1:30 PM docket. That's $2,340 in court costs for an hour and a half court time. Add that much again in fines (we were lucky to get away with a $50 fine this time) and that sub-courthouse is bringing in $5,000 every Monday at Truancy court. Plus the costs of the drug tests. That's just for kids being late to school, most of whom, like my son Marco, have quite legitimate family obligations that are causing their lateness or absences.
Can you imagine: unprovoked drug tests handed out by a local truancy judge at will; court costs for truancy notices so high that more than pay for the entire courthouse monthly, fines that assure the county can hold gala dinners and buy unmarked police cars so that the local constabulatory can hand out more fines.
Personally, I don't think the drug test thing is legal, and I'm not sure the law on being late is legal. The rest is just immoral. And that it's being meted out by this handsome actor who brags on all the bad things he got away with that the rest of the world will not get away with is simply cause for nausea.
But this is Texas. Sometimes it's hard to believe I moved here.
This is not the America I was brought up to believe in.

Ayahuasca and Pregnancy

Someone recently brought a question up regarding the use of ayahuasca and pregnancy. My feeling, based on experience, is that pregnant women should not drink ayahuasca. The physical purging could be difficult or disastrous for a fetus. I wouldn't recommend taking the chance.
The person posing the question went further to ask whether husbands of pregnant women were allowed to drink ayahuasca. Again from my experience, though different traditions have different guidelines, this was never an issue with Julio, my teacher of nearly 25 years. My own wife was pregnant when one of our sons got terribly sick. While he was in the intensive care unit in Lima--after he'd been stabilized--I went to Iquitos and took a boat out to see Julio to see what long-range curing he could do for Marco. And Julio had no issue with the idea that Chepa, my wife, was pregnant at the time. So I don't think, at least in some places, that it is taboo for the husband of a pregnant woman to drink.
On the other hand, some curanderos have a real issue with pregnant women being present or close by during ceremony, even when not drinking. It's felt by some that spirits can too easily enter into either the pregnant woman or the fetus, both of whom are very vulnerable during that period. Knowing how easily spirits enter into humans who are not as vulnerable, I'd go along with this one, just to be on the side of safety. A spirit tagging along with your body is not always easy to toss off and could, I imagine, be very frightening to some. I wouldn't want my pregant wife being in that position if it was avoidable.
The other part of the question, though I wasn't specifically asked, regards women who are menstruating being at ceremony. In my experience, this is sometimes verboten, sometimes frowned upon, and sometimes not an issue. With Julio, he didn't mind, but both he and I knew that if one of my guests were having her period there was a very good possibility that only she would have any effect from the medicine. Julio would explain it as though she were wide open compared to the rest of us, and the spirits would naturally gravitate to the most available human. And the scenario mostly played out that way: the bleeding woman would have profound, even life-changing experiences, while others would feel nothing at all. (I've heard some curanderos say they believe a menstruating woman will bring evil spirits but I've never witnessed that myself.)

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

My Sister's Birthday

It's February 20, my sister Peg's birthday. Two years older than me, and I just turned 56, so we're not kids anymore. But I still wanted to take a moment to say that when we used to be kids she was quite an influence. She was the third of six; I was the fourth. Coming right after her I'm sure there was some resentment==though she probably didn't know it--for me. I mean, she went from being the baby to being the sister who had to help with the new baby by the time she could talk. She'd sometimes take out that resentment by biting me on the head. She didn't just bite, though. She sort of collected scalp between her fingers and squeezed it so that she could get a really good bite going. Man, I'll never forget those. On the other hand, she was an immense talent. By the time she was ten and my other older sister, Pat, was 12, they had the best baton troop in Whitestone. They were good enough that they were invited to march in all the local parades and I think they were invited to the New York City St. Paddy's Day Parade a couple of times as well. That's saying something. And both individually and as a team Peg and Pat seemed to win baton championships at will.
And by the time she was in high school our mom had become a teacher so Peg picked up the slack and cooked for all of us several times a week. And she was a great cook.
When she finished high school she went to work at a major law firm and in no time was running the office. Her typing skills were brilliant: I think she did a legitimate 135 words a minute on the old IBM electric--that's a no-mistake 135 words per minute. She was also gorgeous: I once visited the office to find one of her bosses literally running around his desk trying to catch her to give her a lecherous hug--not really a criminal offence in those pre-women's rights days. No problem: Peg simply outran him till he ran out of steam and gave up.
She married her high school sweetheart, George Lehman and they raised three beautiful girls: Jennifer, Christine and Allison, all of whom are now married themselves with two of them, Jen and Chris, having kids of their own.
So what I'm getting at is this: my sister Peg helped make me tough, taught me about hard work, cooked for me, helped show me how to be a good dad by being such a good mom, and she's even lent me money when the house was going to be taken out from under us.
So thanks, Peg. I love you and I'm glad you're my sister.
Pete

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Julio Jerena, My Friend and Teacher, Has Passed

Julio Jerena, My Friend and Teacher, Has Passed

1916-2007


My friend and teacher, Don Julio Jerena Pineda, passed on January 19 at about 10 PM while in the Regional Hospital in Iquitos, Peru. He was 91 and his death wasn't unexpected: to me the only surprise was that he physically died rather than simply vanished. He was a walking light stick who glowed brighter each year I knew him since we met in 1985, and I always joked that he was becoming more and more see-through and that when his physical end finally came he would simply vanish in a blink of light.
Julio was an ayahuasca curandero. To say he was from the old traditions isn't quite right. He wasn't born until the rubber boom was well underway in northwest Amazonia, and the boom had brought slavery and intermarriage to many, if not most, of the tribes of the region. So the old tradition, in his mestizo world, never really existed that he'd known. But in the modern era he was certainly an elder. True to his own tradition, he was the local doctor on the river on which he lived. For him, that was the Auchyacu, situated between Genaro Herrera and Requena on the Ucayali, just 100 km upriver from where the Ucayali is joined by the Maranon to become the Amazon. Auchyacu means Indian Water, and the river was periodically inhabited by the indigenous Matses, most of whom live further east, on several rivers near the Brazilian border. But they, like everyone else who lived on the Auchyacu, and many from further away, trusted Julio to fix their babies' tummies, mend broken legs, eliminate the venom from poisonous snake bites, find their lost souls, repair their broken marriages, clean ugliness and hatred from their hearts...sort of a general practitioner of the mind, body and spirit.
And what a practitioner he was. If there is such a thing as bedside manners, Julio helped define the word. He was as gentle as a feather with children, but as tough as granite with adults who didn't follow his recommendations. He could tell a joke with anyone but a simple glare could stop me cold.
One of the testimonies to him and the life he led is that he was still surrounded by his children and grandchildren to the end, and they are all wonderful people. Simple in the sense that they're not city sophisticates, but all are generous, honest, decent and full of good humor.
The life Julio led began in Pucallpa, Peru. At the time he was born, in 1916, Pucallpa was little more than a jungle town, so he grew up traveling the river in dugout canoes, hunting, fishing and keeping chacras--the little farms people on the river in Peru keep. Wounded in a war with Ecuador, doctors wanted to cut off one of his legs from the knee down. He opted instead to visit a vegetalista curandero in Pulcallpa.
"At first he started to heal me," Julio said last year; "but then he began to poison me and my leg got worse, so I left him and took a boat to Iquitos."
There, he visited an ayahuasca curandero. It was his first experience with ayahuasca and he found it exceptionally healing. Unfortunately, the healer disappeared, leaving Julio to learn about ayahuasca on his own. To that end, he built a little house in the jungle outside of Iquitos and tried to remember the plants the man had used to make the medicines. "I was there for a long time. First I learned how to make ayahuasca. Then I learned about the spirits in the trees and began to make tea from their barks and roots. I made friends with lupuna and catawa and chiric sanango and a lot of others. It took months, but it was the only way I knew because I had no teacher, no maestro teaching me."
His leg finally healed and the war over, he moved to the Auchyacu and started a family. He had eight children that I know of; perhaps more I’m unaware of. He raised them all on the river, catching fish daily from his dugout canoe and keeping his chacras filled with yucca, plantain, corn and other jungle foods.
For those lucky enough to have drunk ayahuasca with him, and those of us—and there are many—even luckier to have studied under his guidance, Julio was a marvel. He loved the deep woods and the river; he joked with the genios—spirit allies—he had; he worked on us deeply and compassionately. He taught us to take the medicine seriously but not ourselves.
The capacity he had to work with ayahuasca was always a surprise. Years ago when I was drinking with him one night I got into a space where I realized how small and meaningless I was. And I realized that if I could see that meanness, so could Julio and my friend Larry who was drinking with me that night. I was so horrified at being seen for the useless being I was that I began to entertain the idea of killing them both and tossing their bodies in the river, then returning to Iquitos and saying they’d drowned and their bodies had been eaten by predators. And just when I was thinking that wretched thought, I felt hot breath and mapacho smoke on my face. I opened my eyes to see Julio’s face just inches from mine.
"We don’t have to act on everything we see on ayahuasca," he chuckled. "Still, I think I’ll put the machetes away."
Another night, years later, my friend Lynn was drinking for the first time. I had a few other guests at Julio’s as well, nearly all of them women. After the ceremony Lynn said that at some point he realized he was feeling nothing at all and silently asked Julio to show him "something, anything to show this isn’t just a waste of time." And at that point, Lynn said, "Julio stood up and was 14 feet tall. His head almost touched the roof of the house. And his chakras began to glow, then spin, and then they began to throw off lights and the light fell all around me and on me. And then Julio, in English, asked: ‘Now can I go back to the work I was doing on the women?’"
I also saw Julio as a giant. Often. But one night in particular I saw him bigger than at other times. I’d been lain on my back by the medicine. I couldn’t feel my body much less move it. Wind began to howl. From every direction. Not just howl, but howl like the wind at the four corners of the universe howls. And I realized that that’s where I was, at the place where the wind begin. And in order not to be blown out of the universe I grabbed a coattail and held on for dear life. And I realized the coattail was worn by someone so large I couldn’t see their knees. But I held on and let the wind rush through me, tearing me to glorious pieces. And then the sky opened up like a curtain being pulled back, and there was Julio, riding a bicycle as big as the sky. Attached to its rear wheel were two flaps that were being powered by the motion of the wheel. And the flaps were making the wind that was blowing through me, the wind that was at the beginning of all wind. And Julio was pedaling fast, keeping the wind blowing, and laughing the most gentle and giving of laughs.
And in the morning he laughed when he asked if I liked his bicycle. I said I found it the most amazing thing.
His laughter, generally a chuckle, was simply a part of him. One night I had two guests drinking with him, a couple, and while the wife had the most fantastic and visionary experience, the husband was reduced to vomiting, shitting and moaning for three or four hours. He had the most unbearable time and in the morning asked me to ask Julio how it was possible that his wife had visions while he had nothing but purging.
Julio and I didn’t talk much, but I agreed to ask and when I did Julio just chuckled. "Tell your friend that I was going to paint him with the colors of ayahuasca, but that when I got inside him he was like a livingroom filled with garbage and broken furniture and peeling paint. Who could paint in a room like that? Now that I’ve got him ready, I’ll paint him next time."
To me, he was an extraordinary curandero. Perhaps the best testament I ever heard regarding his work--and I have heard hundreds--was a guest of mine who drank with Julio twice and wrote me six months later something to this effect: "How can I quantify the experience? Before the trip every day I woke up and wondered if this was the right day to put a pistol in my mouth and pull the trigger. Since drinking with Julio, I wake every day and think 'this is a great day to be alive.'"
That's healing on a very deep level.
It was my privilege to know him, to work with him, and at the end, to work on him to take away some of his pain.
He’s already missed.

The Million Me's in Me

Woke up frantically this morning at 4 AM. I'd been dreaming and in the dream I saw myself sectionalized on a series of shelves. There was me, the baby, looking for love from mom; there was another me, my father's son, looking for approval. There was me, the guy who tells tall tales to get attention; there was me, my brother's brother. Then there was me, the guy who has to apologize for the guy who tells the tall tales; then there was me, the dad, who is hoping he is doing the dad stuff right; then there was me, my dad's son, looking to him to see if I was doing the dad stuff right; then me, the man who feels invincible and next to that me was the me who is small and scared all the time. And there were a million me's and ayahuasca began to take some off the shelf to work on some of the me's I don't need anymore and I panicked because I knew that the overall me was constructed very carefully from all of those million me's, the me's who succeeded, the me's married to my failures; the me's who forgive me for being me; the me's who hate me.....and when I woke and realized that I was afraid of having any of the me's tampered with because I would never be put back together as me if any of the me's were moved or removed.
So I bolted from bed before the work could be done. But then, in a more rational moment, if that's what this is, I realize that at any given moment, doing any given action, there are thousands of those me's engaged. Some are encouraging me, some are embarrassed for me, some are in conflict with me. Like smoking: the biggest me's want to copy my father, who smoked. Other me's see the smoking me as a cool me. But other me's see me smoking as a chicken, and as a me who still is looking for approval for smoking from a father who died from smoking. And another me is a nasty boy who gets a kick out of making Chepa constantly repeat: You shouldn't be smoking in the house," a million times a month....
And that's just smoking. Imagine what I and you and all of us go through in terms of dealing with a million mes on a million little decisions daily???? No wonder I sometimes find myself unable to act decisively!!!!!
Probably not a great big insight but it sure seemed like one, seems like one, this second...Of course, a bigger issue lies underneath all of this: that's that ayahuasca wanted to eliminate some of the me's I no longer need. That's the real work that needs doing and the real work of vomiting while under the influence of ayahuasca. The elimination of the bile of our lives, the me's and us's we no longer need to carry around. But that always, which is why I am so afraid of it, forces a reconstruction of ourselves, and we're never the same afterwards. And the million me's of me very jealously guard the overall me. And it should, as it's taken a lifetime to construct me. Still, until some of the me's I no longer need are removed, I inhibit the growth of the overall me. But knowing that is a long way from permitting it to happen.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Peccary in the Amazon

I've recently been asked whether Amazon boars were dangerous. Having been around small, medium and large groups, some of whom were familiar with hunters, some not, I thought it was an interesting question. Here's my answer:

Both the sahino, the small (15 kilo) boars and the wangana, large (white collared peccary at 25 kilos) are potentially dangerous if you interrupt feeding by startling them, generally done by shooting off a shotgun. THose familiar with hunters will generally flee, sometimes haphazardly. Large groups, I've seen them up to 100, who are not familiar with hunters, will go so crazy on
hearing a shotgun and in their insanity/fear will run amok, and in that case are very dangerous, simply because of their weight/muscle/fear/tusks. I've seen half-a-dozen hit the same tree and take it down by sheer force.
So they're not dangerous, in my experience, from aggression, but they can be very dangerous when running wildly. And I can only imagine being a human caught under a stampede of 20-30 of them, all tearing at you with their tusks as they ran over you with their small, bone breaking sized hooves.
Personally, I've always been more fearful of hooves than tusks. Tusks can gore and core you. But their hooves are not like a horse or mule or cattle: Large enough to distribute weight. The peccary's have these dainty freaking one-and-a-half-inch hooves that I believe would simply cut
through your stomach/back if they ran on you. No scientific basis to that, just my feeling, having looked at hundreds of the sharp, little double-edged hooves.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Ahhh, frog sweat,,,

It's Sunday night, the 17th of December. I've just woken from a frog sweat dream. This is the second I've had in the last 10 days. Neither were Herculean doses, but both were memorable. This time I took it in the right forearm. Last time it was in the upper right bicep. This is what I wrote about the last time, and a version of this should appear in the next week or so in the new webzine Mariri, put out by a net friend named Lorni Li. It's her second issue and the first had a handful of wonderful, adventurous stories related to indigenous peoples. This story relates to them as well.

FROG SWEAT: MATSES RAINFOREST MEDICINE

The secretions from a tree frog the Matses Indians have traditionally burnt into their arms might just burn a new path in Western medicine.

By Peter Gorman

I’m sitting at my desk. In front of me is a slender piece of bamboo perhaps eight inches long and tapered to a point at both ends. Next to it a candle burns. I cut a piece of tamshi—a strong, thin vine traditionally used for lashing things together in Amazon building—from a 10’ coil and place one end into the candle fire. When it glows bright red I push the burning end hard into my upper right arm. It stings as the outer skin is burned.
I clean the tip of the tamshi and put it back into the candle fire. When it’s ready I burn my arm a second time, then scrape the skin from both burns, revealing a subcutaneous layer dotted with tiny red capillaries.
I turn my attention to the bamboo splint. One side is covered in what looks like dried varnish, but is actually the dried secretions of a bright green tree frog called the phyllomedusa bicolor. The secretions are its protective armor against tree snake predators: as the snake squeezes on the frog, the secretions are released from its legs and body. They are painful enough that the snake will often release its prey,
I spit onto a half-inch section of the bamboo splint, then take a sharp knife and scrape the dried secretions into it. In a few moments the secretions have absorbed the spit and become the texture of moist wasabi mustard. I pick up a little with the tip of the knife and apply it to one of the burn marks on my arm. It looks like a tiny mountain of wasabi. I do the same with the second burn.
By the time I put down the knife and count to 15 my ears begin to heat up. My heart begins to beat faster. My head is unusually warm. My stomach begins to clench. My fingers lose the ability to type.
By the time a minute or two has gone by my mouth is dry and my lips are numb. I can feel the soft tissue around my eyes beginning to swell. My blood begins to race. I can feel the insides of my body as it speeds through it.
I have to sit comfortably and move to the nearby couch. No good. My skin begins to jump and I slide to the floor to lie down. My blood is still picking up speed and I can begin to hear it beating like a drum against my rib cage. My breathing is short, shallow and through the mouth as my nasal passages are utterly swollen with mucous. I’m alert but suddenly useless. I’m a bag of bones being operated on by a force working from the inside out. I’m a wounded animal, not in pain so much as mystified that I cannot move. My arms and legs are heavy. My head is going to explode.
I lay there for maybe ten minutes, utterly immobile. My breathing is now accompanied by sounds, like an old man, or a low growl. I have the urge to both defecate and vomit but my body won’t even let me move the muscles necessary to do that.
I give up to the overwhelmingness of it all. My body is on the floor. I am nowhere. I am an animal in a useless skin. I’m not going to make it if my blood doesn’t slow down. Every artery, every vein, every capillary is making itself known to me, an unimaginable awareness of the human machine. Throbbing, throbbing, so loud the rushing and racing of all that blood and the pounding of my heart.
Suddenly horses appear. Then children spinning around a sort of homemade whirlaway. They spin faster and faster until nothing is left of them but a million tiny droplets of blood filling my closed-eyed landscape. They are spinning like the children. They are my blood rushing. They are suddenly, clearly, the endless spinning of the double helix of DNA, moving across my field of vision.
These aren’t visions. Just images. This isn’t a visionary medicine.
Realizing that I suddenly also realize that I’ve just peaked. That my heart, racing, racing, is not going any faster this second than it was the last. There are animals everywhere in the dark. And then there is the phyllomedusa bicolor taking up the whole screen. It barks its strange and unique repeated bark so familiar to me in the jungle. No. Wait. This bark is coming from me. I hear my oldest son laughing nearby. I’m so happy he’s close. I know I’m not going to die now.
I roll over onto my back and begin to chuckle. I’m still racing but the charge has slowed to a gallop. The blood-drop helix reappears and I watch it slowing down, so beautiful, so clear, so delicate but so strong.
I realize I’ve been sweating. I’m soaked despite the coolness of the house.
I start making sounds just to announce to the world my being alive again. A shiver runs up and down my spine, down into my feet and toes and back up again. I’m giggling, and begin to talk. My son tells me I’m talking nonsense words. I meant to say, "That’s some medicine, That’s some crazy medicine," but my lips can’t yet form words.
My son laughs. "Dad. People let you do this to them? They’re freaking crazy."
I laugh. It’s extraordinary medicine. And he knows it. He’s been burned himself a few times.
I rest. Perhaps half an hour passes. I finally force myself into action and get to the bathroom to vomit and defecate. I wash up and walk to the front porch. It’s a glorious Texas morning. I can see for miles through the crisp late autumn foliage. I can hear horses playing deep in the rear of my neighbor’s property several hundred yards away. I hear the remaining leaves on my trees rustling in the slight breeze. I have such clarity of vision and hearing. I am clean inside. I am wonderfully alive.

No matter how many times I use sapo, the speed and power with which it works never stops surprising me. The very first time I use it was the most frightening of all. It was 1986 and I was with my guide and teacher, the wonderful naturalist and survival guide Moises Torres Vienna, and my brother-in-law Steve Flores. We were out on the river Galvez, near the Peruvian border with Brazil, in a Matses Indian village. The Matses, who, like everyone who lives on the rivers in the Amazon have had contact with river traders, the military and missionaries, were still pretty remote at that time. They wore clothing at times, at other times didn’t; they still tatooed the beautiful hashmark tatoo around their mouths and across their cheeks nearly to their ears, and wore bamboo splints in their upper lips and noses daily, which, when accented with the red dye of the achote plant made them look like jaguars. A few of the men spoke basic Spanish; for the rest they spoke their own language, a gutteral tongue anthropologists say is part of the Panoan language group.
It was only our second or third day at that particular village, which was really just the home of two men, Pablo and Alberto, and their several wives and nearly 20 children. Steve had gone out early in the morning with Alberto and one of the older boys; I stayed with Moises and Pablo in the hut of Pablo’s main wife, Ma-Shu. Ma-Shu was cooking something and I was pointing to things around the fire and asking what the Matses words were for them. There were clay pots and bows and arrows stuck into the hut’s leaf roof, woven baskets and the like. And then I pointed to a little plastic bag that was hanging perhaps three feet above the fire. Pablo’s eyes lit up. "Sapo. Sapo Petro (his pronunciation of Pedro)."
With a long stick he quickly unhooked the twine that held the bag, brought it down and opened it. Inside was a small bamboo stick with what looked like varnish on it. "Sapo. Medicina. Bueno," he said with mischiveous enthusiasm.
He spit on the stick and began scraping the varnish with a piece of vine he broke from one of the hut’s joints. I watched, wondering what the heck he was doing. In moments he’d mixed the spit with varnish to make a loose paste. Then he put the bamboo splint down and stuck the bit of vine into the fire. He picked it up once it caught and blew on one end until it was bright red. Then suddenly, unexpectedly, he reached out and grabbed my left wrist. I went to draw it back but he held it firmly. Then he burned my inner forearm with the vine, thrust the stick back into the fire for a moment, then burned me again. Still holding on to my wrist he deftly scraped off the burned layers of skin, then scraped some of the paste off the bamboo splint and dabbed it on the raw flesh he’d exposed.
"Sapo, Petro. Sapo." And then he barked, a strange but familiar sound I didn’t recognize at the time as being the call of the phyllomedusa bicolor tree frog.
In moments my head began to feel strange, like it was getting hot. My heart began to race. I looked at Moises and asked what it was and what was happening. Moises, who knew everything about the jungle, just shrugged as if to say he had no idea what this sapo was. I got terrified. My heart beat faster.
Ma Shu saw me begin to double up to vomit and quickly got me out of her hut. I fell onto the clay outside and vomited violently, then, unable to hold myself up, fell onto my side. Whatever it was was surely going to kill me and I prayed it would be over soon. The beating of my heart was like a loud drumbeat in my head. My temples felt as though they were going to explode at any instant. I was sweating uncontrollably. I could feel myself starting to shit and couldn’t stop it. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t do anything. I was just praying to die.
I had no idea how long the ordeal lasted. I just know that at some point there were lots of children around me, giggling and saying "Sapo", while Pablo was making farting noises and his wives laughed hysterically. At some point someone wiped my face with a piece of leaf and made a disgusted noise that set everyone laughing again. I passed out.
When I woke I was on a low platform of a hut under construction. I stood shakily, amazed and thrilled to be alive. I heard someone talking and turned to them: There was no one within 50 feet of me. The only people I saw at all were Martha, Pablo’s youngest wife, and Ma Shu, standing across the horseshoe shaped village in front of Ma Shu’s hut.
But I heard voices. It took me a minute to realize I was hearing their voices. But that was impossible. They weren’t yelling. And then I realized I was hearing monkey’s chatter as well, and looked to see where they were: no where in my field of vision. But then I realized my field of vision was much sharper than normal. I was looking at individual leaves in tall trees 30 meters away and seeing their serrations. And after a few more minutes, I realized I felt strong. Not just my regular strong, but really strong. In my notebook that night I wrote that I felt like God. Hyperbole, of course, but my sight, my hearing, my strength… everything was bigger and better than it had been.
It hit me. Better than it had been before Pablo gave me the sapo. So that was the medicine. That’s why he called it ‘buena medicina’.
In a little while Steve returned from his fishing expedition with Alberto and I told him what happened. He didn’t quite believe me, but that evening learned I was tellin gthe truth when it happened to him as well.
And over dinner, which I didn’t feel the need for, via a combination of the wretched Spanish of myself and Pablo, a sort of telepathy that seems to happen around the Matses, and a lot of hand signals, I asked Pablo about this medicine. He explained that it was something the Matses used to hunt, because it made them strong and invisible. They also used it for long hiking trips—the Matses at that time would frequently walk a couple of hundred miles or so on hunting trips of several days—because, as Pablo explained with his hands, after sapo you weren’t hungry. And he also indicated it was used for lazy children, for people sick with the grippe—which still kills a number of fairly remote indigenous and a surprising number of mestizos as well—and to discover whether a woman was pregnant, and if she was, who was the father; whether the fetus was a male or female, whether it was in good health, and if not, as an abortive.
I don’t know how I got all that, but it was all in my notes that night before bed. Pablo, I learned, was simply an amazing communicator. Of course, I didn’t actually get the value of much of what he’d said, or even understand it—what did he mean it made them invisible when hunting? For instance. And how could you tell who the father of a baby was? Heck, Pablo and I didn’t even speak the same language. I wondered if I’d just made it up.
There was lots I didn’t know at the time. Among the more interesting things was that my written account of sapo would turn out to be the first first-hand account in the history of the world—at least according to several scientists, including Mark Plotkin and Richard Schultes—of a human taking an animal substance directly into the blood stream for medicinal purposes. I also didn’t know that after word of my account got out that other gringos would begin asking other indigenous about sapo—frog sweat—and that 20 years later it would be utilized by more than a dozen indigenous groups from Peru to Brazil.
I also had no idea that that account would catch the interest of Vittorio Erspamer, a scientist at the FIDIA Research Institute of Neurosciences at the University of Rome whose groundbreaking work with the medicine would yield more than six dozen new proteins, all of which are bioactive—meaning they work in humans as if the human body had produced them—opening up an entirely new branch of study in Western medicine: the study of amphibian proteins as curatives in humans.
Perhaps most humbly, I also didn’t know that the word sapo means toad, not frog, in Spanish—something that the Matses didn’t know either—so that the medicine called ‘frog’ or ‘frog sweat’ is actually misnamed in Spanish as ‘toad’.
Some of the other things I’d written down but didn’t know at the time I learned in the next couple of weeks and years: the medicine turns on what I can only describe as an adrenaline drip that lasts for days. You neither get overwhelmingly hungry or thirsty. You can eat, but if there’s no food, that’s okay. And while you can sleep, you can be recharged very quickly. I learned that hiking with the Matses, who almost jog through the forest. Before a long hike they’ll utilize sizeable doses of sapo, then head off. If it’s a two or three day hike they might carry some farina—dried, roasted yucca—but they don’t need to be bogged down carring a lot of food stuffs, or stop their hike to go searching for food. Same with exhaustion. When it’s time to rest, they’ll stop for five or ten minutes, then begin again. All day.
The invisibility took longer to figure, but as I grew accustomed to hunting with Pablo and other Matses men over the next couple of years, I realized that invisible didn’t mean invisible as in ‘you can’t see me.’ It meant invisible as in ‘I am invisible to the animals I’m hunting and therefore can get closer to them, giving me a better chance at a good hunt.’
The idea there is to realize that most rainforest animals don’t see very well, but the hear and smell exceptionally. The Matses hunters already know how to move so quietly that they can beat the sight and hearing of their prey. But the smell is difficult to overcome. And that’s where sapo comes into play: with massive doses even the lithe Matses sweat profusely. Often, before a hunt, they’ll do sapo, sweat, and then rinse in the river. Having eliminated their surface toxins, they’re now, temporarily, smell-less. Which gives them a great advantage in getting a couple of steps closer to their prey. They become, essentially, invisible.
The grippe is also affected by the tremendous sweating, and lazy children not only have the energy to work after a small dose of sapo, they’re generally so frightened of having it applied that just talk of it will get them doing their chores in the village.
The female things only made sense when I actually observed them. At one Matses camp one night several women were chiding a young woman about her pregnancy. The girl certainly didn’t look pregnant, and was denying that she was. Suddenly the village headman took out sapo and gave her a single dose on the inside of her wrist. Instantly she crossed the hut to lie near a young man. Everyone laughed. It was later explained that if a woman got sapo, she would tend to run to the man she loved, and if that man was not her husband, the camp would know she’d fallen in love with a new man.
The rest involved old-fashioned mid-wifery: in this case when the woman peed, an old woman collected some of the urine from the ground and ran it between her fingers and held it to her nose. Something about the texture or smell indicated to her that the young woman was indeed pregnant and she turned around and made a big belly hand signal, sending all into celebration, particularly the young man, who at first seemed nervous but joined the celebration.
Whether the embryo was male or female is apparently determined by the cloudiness of the urine; whether it’s healthy by the sppearance of specks of blood in the urine; and abortion is achieved with a high dose.
Erspamer’s earliest work on the phyllomedusa bicolor and other members of the phyllomedusa family had shown fantastic amounts of peptides—proteins—in their secretions, but it wasn’t until he got my paper that he began to work on the idea of their bioactivity in humans. I’d collected some things for the American Museum of Natural History and written a report of my first encounter with the Matses for them. When I brought back my second report, the one that included my first sapo experience, he got wind of it and asked for a copy. And then he went to work with just what I wrote: how it was applied, the immediate effects, the longer term effects and the other effects that I described but hadn’t witnessed. Surprisingly, for each he was able to find a novel peptide in the sample of sapo I sent him.
The sapo , he said, was a sort of fantastic chemical cocktail with potential medical applications. "No other amphibian skin can compete with it," he wrote. "Up to 7% of sapo’s weight is in potently active peptides, easily absorbed through burned, inflamed areas of the skin." He explained that among the several dozen peptides found in sapo, seven were bioactive—that number has since been increased to more than six dozen—which meant that each has an affinity and selectivity for binding with receptor sites in humans. The peptide families represented in the dow-kiet! included bradykinins, tachykinins, caerulein, sauvagine, tryptophyllins, dermorphins, and bombesins.
The physical intoxication I described was accounted for by the presence of caerulein and phyllocaerulein. "Side effects observed (in volunteer patients with post-operative intestinal atony) were nausea, vomiting, facial flush, mild heart palpitations, changes in blood pressure, sweating, abdominal discomfort and the urge for defecation."
Phyllomedusin, a new peptide in the tachykinin family—strongly affects the salivary glands, tear ducts, intestines and bowels and contributed to the violent purging I’d experienced. Sauvagine causes a long lasting fall in blood pressure, accompanied by intense heart palpitations and stimulation of the pituitary-adrenal cortex, which contributed to the satiety, heightened sensory perception and increased stamina I’d described. Phyllokinin, a new peptide in the bradykinin family, is a powerful blood bessel dilator and accounted for the rushing in my blood during the initial phase of sapo intoxication.
As to the increased physical strength, lack of hunger and thirst, Erspamer suggested they could be "explained by the presence of caeruelin and sauvagine in the drug."
He didn’t go into the female uses for sapo I wrote about except to note that the same peptides that would cause abdominal discomfort, the urge for defecation and the changes in blood pressure would probably be responsible for its reported abortive uses.
Erspamer later discovered dermorphin and deltorphin peptides that would act similarly to morphine in terms of pain reduction, but which, while 33 and 17 times as strong as pharmaceutical morphine, would not be habit forming because they are bioactive. Your body would simply eliminate what it didn’t need.
The seminal work done on sapo by Erspamer has several pharmaceutical houses exploring a host of hopeful medicines. While the work is kept close to the vest, at least some of it involves non-addictive pain medication. One or more pharmaceutical houses is working on utilizing the novel protein phyllokinin as a carrier for other medicines because it can pass through the blood-brain barrier piggy-backing other molecules. It’s hoped that at some point the phyllokinin might piggy-back medicines for Alzheimer’s and brain cancers.
It’s hoped of course, that if and when those medicines make it to the marketplace the Matses won’t be forgotten. Certainly their intellectual property rights as the first people known to have utilized sapo should count for something; in the real world, however, it may turn out that those companies profiting from the Matses knowledge will need some legal arm twisting to recognize the point of origin for those profits.
In the larger picture, the discover and use of sapo by the Matses, and their willingness to share it with me—who by sheer luck is a writer who was working with a major museum—has proven once again that only arrogance prevents much of the modern world from realizing how much there is to learn from the peoples who live in the remote corners of the world. Our continued rush to Westernize indigenous populations all over the globe has surely led to the disappearance of many medicines and other things that might have proven very valuable to us. And our continued arrogance will cost us many more.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

My daughter sleeping

Okay, so this entry is not about the jungle, environmentalism, shamanism or politics. This one is just about my daughter sleeping.
My nine year old daughter Madeleina is sleeping on the couch behind me as I sit at the computer. She's been sleeping for close to five hours, a "five minute nap, okay dad?" as she put it at about 1 PM. Having her close is one of the wonders of the universe to me. Having her that tired on a Saturday is an indication that last night's Girl Scout sleepover was a wonderful time. The troop went out and help decorate a nearby cemetary in honor of Veteran's Day, then went to the troop leader's house and made Hobo Stew. Didn't imagine she'd like it when I heard that's what they were going to have but it turns out she did. "And dad, instead of water we used the V-8 juice that one girl brought! And it was great! Can you make that one day?" Then there was a talent show--she sang--during which one girl's talent was stuffing as many sour candies in her mouth at once as she could fit: troop leader said that when that girl heaved "those candies flew out of her mouth like flying missiles, and went all over the room."
So my daughter is sleeping under a comforter behind me and while it's keeping me chained inside the house, or at least nearby since her brothers aren't home, it's okay by me. A couple of years ago I would have gotten her up to go run errands. Now, I am just glad she's here and healthy and I only hope she's having a great great dream.
Sleep little darling. I hope every parent is as happy to be a parent as I am today.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Friday but not the end of the week

Well, it's Friday, alright, but long from the end of the week. Finished a cover story on prisons and now I've got my column due for Skunk Magazine three days ago and it's still not done. Was waiting for the elections and hoping that Colorado and Nevada would shred the fabric of the drug war a bit by making it legal==or illegal to prosecute==adults for possession or use of one once or less of pot. Neither state went for it, so I guess that's what people want. Either that or pot smokers were too damned busy sucking on their bongs to go vote. Or, of course, so many pot smokers have felonies on their records that they can't vote. I love that one. It's such a cool way to manipulate the system. Criminalize millions with felonies, then take away their right to vote. Just cause someone steals a car or gets busted with a pound of ganja means they can't think clearly enough to vote. Who made that rule up? And another thing: how on earth can we put kids in the military at 17-18 and send them off to war in foreigh lands but not let them have a beer when they come home because the drinking age is 21? Not that everybody should have beer, but the concept is mind-boggling. How about we don't let 17-18 year old kids in the military? How bout we raise that age to 21, or 26, or 60. How about only people who have raised kids to adulthood and retired from their jobs can go to war?
Cause nobody would go, that's why. The kids still see the John Wayne/Van Deisel glory in blowing people to bits, and they believe the rhetoric about the army making you a man, and they love the advertising. Heck, a couple of my kids friends joined the Marines straight out of high school and 12 weeks later were marines in Iraq. I salute them, but salute them even more when, being told they were being rotated back to Iraq said "Hell no. I did my time."
Heck, if there was a reason for the war==and I know oil is a big and legit reason--a reason bigger than oil, then I think half the people in the US would sign up. But there isn't. There wasn't. Don't want Hussein? Take him out. We've got hundreds of assassins doing a job or two every year for Langley--the CIA--and they could have made him one of them. But letting young mister Bush, who awol'd most of his cushy military time, and the recently departed Donald Rumsfeld and Dick Cheney, neither of whom saw military service, get their collective rocks off with the blood of your sons is just too much.
Speaking of Rummy, good riddance. His arrogance was matched only by his shortsightedness and stupidity. Unfortunately, he'll remain in the circles of power as a high-priced consultant or CEO of a major corporation, which will allow him to continue to manipulate, or have considerable influence in the corrodors of Washington.
Did I mention it's Friday and I've got work to do?