Sunday, September 23, 2007

Old Truck Looking Good

Mostly small stuff today because I feel sort of small. I had a fight with a best friend last night--and I was in the wrong. Feel awful. Drank too much then called him and after a good talk, first in months, an old issue came up that's been nagging at us both and it began as my fault. I should know better than to get on the phone when I'm drinking. I do know better. I did it anyway and messed up. I guess the issue needed to surface and I didn't have the guts when sober. I still feel lousy and small. I guess I am today. I'll try to be stronger next time, Chuck. Sorry.
Other than dad, the rest of the crew is doing great. Madeleina played her second soccer game yesterday, and while they lost--they tied the first one--she made a couple of good plays on defense, enough to get her into the game and make her feel part of things. She'll get better over time, but I'm still proud to watch her. Makes me feel like a regular soccer mom.
And Italo and Marco finally had their names officially changed to Gorman on Thursday. Been a long time waiting for that but it's done and all that remains is sending in the paperwork to Social Security, driver's licensing bureau and half a dozen other places and we'll be set. I was so proud.
And then for a present to me--one I didn't know was coming--they had the car taken to a professional cleaning place and had that 14-year-old interior worked on until it is nearly spotless. I mean old coffee stains and the general filth of seats being sat in hundreds of thousand of times and they're all gone. Smells like a new car. To beat that they put in a new sound system. Unfreaking believeable. And the polish on the exterior just shines, shines, shines. They're growing up.
Little Sierra's on the couch behind me. She's eating Altoids. She's gorgeous. I got so much good in my life but I sure messed up last night. What a jerk.


Dr. Grossman said...

Like I told you down in el sur . . . don't be so hard on yourself, you're a good guy. Doctors orders!

mags said...

I once read a letter I shouldn't have. In it, my daughter criticized my cooking and general parenting. I felt awful. A friend told me to establish a time frame for feeling guilty (and small? I always feel small) and then set it aside. This I was able to do. I am sure that you will do so as well. You *are* a good guy.

Arbol said...

Yay! Italo and Marco!