Saturday, December 07, 2013

Another Ayahuasca Letter I Answered for a Stranger

Dear All: Another stranger wrote me a couple of days ago. He/she said that they'd done ayahuasca four times in a short period they now experience, apparently pretty regularly, intense fear at night. The writer said that when he/she goes to bed he has trouble with spirits and shadows. "Once darkness comes, and I\'m usually laying in bed, I leave my body and shadows take me toward a deeper darkness. The feeling I have is one of intense fear. I also have a sense of an intense presence in the room with me..."

I spent a couple of days thinking about it, then wrote this. I hope it helps this person.

Dear X: Well, yeah, I sort of know what you're talking about. First, there is a huge presence in the room. It may be one spirit, may be many. Fact is, they were always there. We share this space in different dimensions with a whole lot of spirits--as children we could feel them, didn't know what they were and called them ghosts. We thought that they only came out at night. But they're always here. Your experience with ayahuasca has probably changed your vibration just enough to now sense them much more than most people would.

   I understand the leaving of your body and the presence--shadows-- wanting to take you to a deeper darkness is frightening. I couldn't agree more. BUTTTT, remember this: No spirit can cross the plane of their existence into ours, just as we can't physically cross the plane into theirs. So nothing can harm your body. And nothing can harm your spirit. 
    That doesn't mean it's not scary as heck.
    I think you might try asking them if they have something to teach you the next time the shadows want to carry you away. Say it silently, say it out loud, it doesn't matter. What matters is that if they say they are your teachers and have something to teach you, ask them what it is they want to teach you: It might be something that is fantastic and if you're resisting them, they'll quit sooner or later and you might have missed a great chance to learn something very important.
     As a rule--and this is only generally speaking--if the spirits want to interact with you, or your spirit, and you ask them if they are your teachers and have something to teach you, they will go away if they are not your teachers. They just sort of dissolve or dissipate.
    But, if they are your teachers, you may not have a long time to decide to allow them to take you into the deeper darkness. And that deeper darkness may be a test--to see if you have the necessary courage to be shown the teaching they're about to show or teach you. In that moment of doubt, that is the moment to remember that they cannot physically hurt you. They can't actually do anything to you. It's tough to remember that when you're sort of scared out of your wits, but try. 
   I lost a lot of chances through fear. And then I also got a lot of fantastic things when I--as my late teacher Julio said--grabbed my balls and remembered who I was, and who my parents were and who their parents were and what we came from and how strong our clan was. In those cases I went through the fear and found it disappearing and then was taught wonderful things. That's something to think about--and something you can prepare for by repeating it before going to bed: Just remember who you are, remember that spirits are everywhere all the time, remember that some are teachers and that teachers often test you to see if you've earned it. Ever study karate or something like that? My sensi would put me through hell before he'd teach me a new kata or give me a new belt rank. He wanted to be sure I'd earned it and was ready to carry the new weight he was giving me, the new responsibility. And the teacher spirits are often the same: They'll put you through enormous fear--often your own worst fears--before they will give up the secrets they are protecting--because giving them to the wrong people, people who were/are not ready, would do no one any good.
    Am I making sense to you?
    Write back and let me know how you are doing, okay?


Graccus said...

Thanks Peter. The other important piece is the idea of "feeding the spirits." They need to be recognized, why many cultures do such simple things as offering a spirit plate of food before meals. Also, my image is that like with a Mafia don, when they help you you then owe them. Maybe not right away but down the road. Be ready to feed them back because you've agreed to that relationship.

RosaTorchFire said...

The first time I had taken Aya it was with MDA.. had a lovely 4 hour telepathic chat with a medley of various-aged SpiderMantis' (accompanied by two Pufferfish guardians) who were dancing gleefully and ready to discuss all matters with humor & uncanny wit. My second experience however.. the Aya hadn't kicked in at the 4th hour so I took a tab of L and sure enough, 5 minutes later, here comes the best, most cleansing purge of my life accompanied by 65 million spiders of light. I threw the covers over my head in fright... they did not dissapear! They showed me images of every spider type imaginable, thus propelling my fear even deeper. I asked telepathically "Why are you trying to scare me?!" And they replied.. "We're not trying to scare you.. we are trying to get you over your fear because you are one of us!" And ask I started to understand what that meant, I closed my eyes and then all of the spiders of light made a tunnel of light and as I passed through, there, in all her spirit-world glory.. pink, semi-glossed body.. was the spider I had always painted for years! I curled into a ball and cried for an hour in shear gratitude. Moral of the story (and what I learned even deeper in reading the '25 Years' book).. the Aya gives you exactly what you need! <3