Thursday, February 18, 2016

Life is Tough; Life is Worth It

So I'm home nearly two weeks. I've written a couple of short pieces to earn a few dollars, had a couple of surprise things happen that were great; had a hole in my working truck's radiator which was not great, have an infection in my good leg that's been cultured out and it turns out it's a combination of staph and pseudomonis, not good, but not as bad a couple of years ago when there were four bacterias attacking my right leg.
    I am having trouble sleeping more than an hour at a time; I feel lucky when I go to bet at 9:30 and don't wake till 11--a full hour-and-a-half is almost like REM sleep after the last month in Peru. I've paid off thousands in bills, leaving me nearly broke, but only owing $14,000--not bad. I turned 65, so I get senior discounts at places I would never eat.
   I've got people coming to the house for ceremony Saturday and have spent close to $1000 on them--and I am not allowed, morally, to accept anything, even contributions. So what? I'll earn more next week. I've been cleaning my house, one meter at a time. Still to go? Mop floors, polish floors; do rugs; clean front and back doors of dog prints. But otherwise, I've done hours and hours, and I'm paying someone $100 to come and help me tomorrow, the day before ceremony, so that when guests arrive they don't think I'm a bum. I've already scrubbed the new tub, toilet and sink. I've done the dirty work.
   Now today is my granddaughter Taylor Rain Gorman's birthday. So I'm making a small party. Bought some presents, cleaned the kitchen, made ribs and chicken, white rice and yellow rice, salmon filet and spicy black beans. Have broccoli, cauliflower, yellow squash, zuccini, tomatoes, scallions, garlic in olive oil ready to stir in a pan. That's a lot of different things to cook for 8 people, but I know my family: They each want what they want and I take up the challenge willingly.
   I have had red wine but no whiskey, not even my three airplane bottles, since Jan 1. So we'll argue tonight, but I won't fall into the trap of being a fool.
    Every day I wake up I thank the universe for another shot at it all. I love living. Sometimes it's hard. It's hard when my legs hurt from infection. It's hard when I can't get ahead and don't have enough for what everyone needs. It's hard when I remember I'm not 21 or 31 anymore. But it's easy to love living anyway.
   And I hope you are all loving living, despite setbacks.

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