Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Halloween and...

It's Halloween. I'm not feeling great. Stopped pain killers two days ago and this piece of plastic in my stomach hurts like hell. That and the fact that the water heater went out while I was gone--we'd been having to use the restart a couple of tmes a day for a few menths so it wasn't entirely unexpected--so I havn't been able to change dressings since Monday afternoon when I returned. So I have been itching and burning like someone set my chest hair on fire all day.
No big deal compared to how scared I was sitting up on that operating table in Cuzco wondering what the hell I was doing getting operated on by a surgeon who'd once saved my life but now looked like a total stranger to me, talking sports with an anestheseologist who said, in Spanish, that I was useless just before poking me 7 times with his needle before hitting the right spot in my spine, and then laughed about it. Man, you guys might have had similar experiences but I never did: The first two ops were extreme emergencies. Such pain in the first that I just said get it done. The second, well, I'd seen my stomach (intestines, actually) standing outside of my abdominal cavity last July when that needed to be done. But this time I was healthy excapt that I had an enormous belly hernia and then I was on the table wondering whether that was the right choice or whether I could live with that belly forever. So I was scared.
But now it's 7 AM on Halloween and it turns out I haven't bought Madeleina a costume or made plans for where she's supposed to go trick or treating and I'm a goblin again. Gosh darn it, that must be the one millionth time I've let down my kids. Didn't mean to. Didn't even realize it was Halloween until I turned into the monster who was ruining the day.
What the hack, I'm back in town and I gues I better get my act together. No feeling dsorry for myself or claiming I'm out of the loop. You're gonna have the kids, you'd better be ready for it all.
So get it back in line, Gorman. No more bullshitting, regardless of that recent surgery.
Man....sometimes I sound like my Irish father. He was a tough guy all the way. But he knew his shit.
Shoulders back, stomach in! Let's get to it.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Sorry, Everyone. I'm Home Now

Okay: I've just gotten home from Peru. I'm wearing 400 or so stitches and feeling uncomfortable. But here's the skinny: I had a trip to Cuzco/Machu Picchu/Lake Titicacca for my friend Virginia. She's a great gal and I was looking forward to doing the trip and then taking five days at the end to have my exploded abdomen put back in place, my severed stomach muscles sewed together and a piece of plastic mesh put between the muscles and my skin to hold everything together.
But I went to the doc--the guy who saved me from peritonitis death in June--the day I arrived in Cuzco and he said he wanted to do the surgery that day.
"Peter, at this altitude, 11.000 feet,everything has expanded, including your belly. If you wait and then go to Lake Titicacca at 13,000 feet you will explode because the only thing holding you together is a layer of skin. So we should do the surgery today."
Fortunately, a friend had given me the name of someone she'd spent a couple of months doing an ayahuasca dieta with and the woman agreed to take over my group.
She, Carolynne Melnyck, was spectacular from all accounts. Anyone going to Cuzco can ask me for her email.
But I went straight into the hospital and climbed aboard another operating table and felt really weak doing it. I tried to be stong but really was a baby for the op, my third on my stomach since June.
Now I'm home and feeling good. The implant, which will stay with me forever, is very uncomfortable but beats being dead by a mile or 10 any day. Cause I'm not ready to die. I mean, if it happens, I'd live with it but I won't like it.
Anyway, I was having surgery and wasting morphine on real pain, and that's why I didn't communicate with you all.
Thanks for bearing with me. I'll try to do a real post tomorrow.
Peter G

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Some Days Are Just Fine

Some days are just fine, some days stink. I'm not sure about the rest of you but for me there are days when I can do a thousand things and other days when I'm stuck walking in mud and no matter how much I try, I can't move forward.
Today was the former. Today I reigned. Not necessarily a king, but I freaking reigned. I leave for Peru tomorrow to take a short group into the mountains and follow that up with my third stomach surgery. I'm a little afraid and I've been having bad dreams about the plane rides to Peru and the surgery. Just fear, I hope, no preminecience.
And I've been trying to finish a thousand things.
And failing.
But today, I finished a cover story at 10, and while waiting for my editor's comments ran errands: I took a truckload of trash to the dump, had oil changed, bought my ex, Chepa a New York style cheesecake, then went to walmart and bought some medicine my guests in Peru asked for, signed a new mortgage with a title company, bought a lawn mower, put it together, mowed my fire pit area, called the Texas Department of Transportation about the new land condemnation they're doing to take more of our land for the new toll road, picked up Madeleina from school, stocked the house with food for while I'll be gone, got money for traveling, made 7 phone calls, kissed Chepa's baby, told Madeleina I loved her and would give her the day off tomorrow to accompany me to the airport and a dozen other things.
Might have been my trip tomorrow or might have been that I ran out of decaf this morning and drank straight caffeinated coffee. Or maybe it was just me trying to finish my work. Whatever it was, I had one of those days when you write a list of 17 things to get done and you wind up finishing 21.
So thanks, whomever let that happen. Nice one. I leave for Peru tomorrow and all I've got to do is pack.Wow. That's some guardians looking over me, eh?
Appreciate it.

Saturday, October 06, 2007

Eminent Domain...What a Pain...

Yeah, well, people need roads and parks. I understand that. But the Texas Department of Transportation has just made an offer on an eminent domain taking of a second slice of my land, and while the offer is a whole lot better than what I'd read about as a kid--when bulldozers crashed through little old ladies' homes when they refused to sell to the state--the taking of someone's property remains a pain. Our little place is gorgeous. Not the house, but the way the 1.39 acres were laid out by nature and the previous owner, with front, side and back yards, out buildings, a chicken coop, ancient trees and a creek crossed by two bridges...simply one of the prettiest spots on the planet. That's what I think, anyway.
But the state needs 30 feet of it across the whole front for a new road. And that won't kill us, but that's 30 feet by 270 feet and this place just won't be same without it. So I'm sort of grouchy about it.
The other side of the equation is that the new road is going to need a new gas station near the entrance, and I'm the beginning of the entrance ramp, so it could be this will all work out in a couple of years and I'll earn enough from a future sale to go get another gorgeous place with a simple house. And maybe have enough left over to go investigate the pyramids in Peru that I've been dreaming about for so long.
Still, I ain't a happy camper bout this whole thing. And when those trees near the creek get cut I'm gonna chop them with my axe and burn them in the fire pit piece by piece and watch the cool white smoke rise and say prayers into it. I don't know what I'll pray for yet...right now I'm praying it takes the state several years to start the actual road building.

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Ain't It Grand....

Ain't life grand sometimes? Today, for instance, my kids got their driver's licenses changed to reflect their new official last name, Gorman, and I popped for two new tires on each of the two old Ford Rangers. Something about having new rubber on an old truck.
And now the only animals in the world that bring out an automatic fear in me are rats. Spiders, snakes, crocodiles, dogs, even jungle cats get some admiration from me. And all can make me scared but that depends on the circumstance. A giant salt water crocodile once got me real scared. It was in southern India, at the great herpetologist Rom Whitaker's Snake Farm. I was doing a story on the place with great photographer Jeffrey Rotman and when we saw Giant we knew we had to photograph him. He was 16-feet long and weighed in at I think nearly two tons. Just a giant for a Salty, hence the name. Of the several thousand crocs Whitaker had, Giant was the only one set off by himself. He was just too big to keep with any others. I mean, Whitaker had Garials that were longer, but none nearly as large and being agressive, he couldn't even be with other Saltys.
But to get the photo we had to climb into the cage. It was two foot of solid rock and cement deep, about 4 feet high, and topped by an extra heavy chain link fence. It was probably 40 feet in diameter. Rom distracted him by feeding him a dog that had just died at the opposite end, then Rotman and I climbed over the fence. Rotman crouched to get shots of Giant crushing the dead dog, I was there just to be able to write the feeling of being in there.
All was good for about 5 seconds, till Giant turned just a bit and noticed us. And then he pushed his massive body off the ground, turned and came at us, one dog leg sticking out at a horrible angle from his mouth. We were on and over that fence not one split second before Giant crashed into that stone wall and made it shake, trying to burst through it to get to us. And in that moment when we had to jump on that stone and clamber over the chain link, in that moment when I prayed my legs wouldn't turn to molasses I was scared. Genuinely terrified.
But there was nothing innate about Giant's being alive that frightened me, just the idea that my leg would look the same as the dog's if he got to us.
But rats still send chills up my spine. Don't know. Kid association with the devil? Maybe. But something about them makes me frightened.
So my beautiful son Marco just got one. And he likes to let it out to run around the house now and then. Just to watch me jump.
Well Italo's girl, Sarah, doesn't like rats either. So she got a rooster because Marco hates to hear roosters. Nearly drives him crazy. And this rooster loves to crow.
So we're finally using the chicken coop. And Marco's got me jumping with that rat while Sarah's got Marco jumping with that rooster. And the goats just keep eating grass.
I told Marco I'll make rooster soup the day the rat disappears, but not till then.
Ain't life just grand sometimes?

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

25-Years of Shamanism--Part 5

This is Part 5 of an ongoing series into some of the extraordinary experiences I've had in dealing with shamanism in Peru during the last 25-years. Initially meant as I talk I was to give at the 3rd Annual Shamanic Conference in Iquitos, Peru in July of 2007, I was unable to give it when I fell pretty ill. So I began to take my notes and write them out. The result has been a pretty long piece that I'm doing in sections as I get time. Some of you will recognize some of the material from earlier stories; other material is new--or new from my old notebooks, anyway. The first four parts are on the blog but you'll have to look through the blog archives for them. In any event, this is part 5 and I'll try to get to part 6 before I leave for Peru next week.

25-Years of Shamanism--Part 5

by Peter Gorman

Not all of my extraordinary shamanic experiences took place with Julio, and not all involved ayahuasca, though most of them did. One that stands out occurred during a trip with the great photographer Jeff Rotman to the Matses villages on the Rio Galvez not long after I first visited that river with my brother-in-law Steve Flores. And though it’s not spiritual, in the way Westerners normally think of shamanism, I think it’s a good example of the day to day shamanism of ancient indigenous peoples.
The Matses have two extraordinary medicines that I know of: Sapo, the resinous secretion of a Phyllomedusa bicolor tree frog; and Nu-nu, a green snuff made from the pulverized inner bark of the macambo tree (Theobroma bicolor, a member of the chocolate family) mixed with the ashes of Nicotiana Rustica, the black tobacco ubiquitous to northwestern Amazonia—the same tobacco from which mapachos are made.
Sapo is both the name of the frog and the name of the medicine. In Matses, it’s actually called dau-kiet!, and in Spanish should be called rana, as the word ‘sapo’ in Spanish means toad, not frog. The Matses' limited Spanish notwithstanding, the medicine is essential to their well-being.
Sapo is a protective secretion that passes through the sides and legs of the P. bicolor when it’s frightened. A tree frog, the animal’s primary predators are tree snakes. When a snake catches the frog, the frog, in a panic, releases it’s sapo into the mucous membrane of the snake’s mouth, causing the snake to become instantly disoriented and giving the frog a chance to escape. That only works if the frog has not yet been crushed by the muscles in the snake’s body directly behind the head.
For Matses use, sapo is collected and dried on a stick of split bamboo. It looks like a yellowish varnish. When it’s time to use the medicine the Matses spit onto a portion of the stick, and use a machete blade or other sharp object to liquify some of the dried sapo into the spit until it has the color and texture of wasabe mustard. They then heat a short piece of vine in a fire until its tip is red hot, then apply that to the user’s upper arm, burning the exterior skin. (It can be utilized on other body parts as well, but is generally used on the arms.) The stick is reheated and a second or third burn is made. The burned skin is then scraped from the arm, exposing the capillaries in the subcutaneous layers of skin. The sapo is placed directly on those.
In a matter of seconds the user feels his heart rate jump and his head gets warm. A few moments later and one’s temples may feel feverishly hot while the heartbeat becomes an overwhelming throbbing reverberating throughout his whole body. He begins to sweat. He may have the urge to vomit or defecate. There may be a feeling of delirium.
The acute phase of sapo intoxication passes in about 15 minutes and is followed by a period of resting. After perhaps an hour has passed, the user finds themselves refreshed and their body cleared of toxins. For the next several days—depending on the dosage—the user will see and hear better, have higher thresholds of hunger and thirst, and have extra energy when they need it. Those effects are largely due to a sort of adrenal drip that the sapo turns on in the human body.
The acute and secondary effects of sapo, as well as its myriad of uses, have been written about by me in other articles and don’t need going into here, except for one, which is when sapo is utilized with nu-nu during certain times of the year when hunting is difficult.
Before I get into that I need to explain that nu-nu is a fine snuff, but one that doesn’t contain DMT, as the famed yopo of the Yanomami does. Nu-nu is generally made by two good hunters. One of them collects and dries N. rustica leaves over a fire until they crumble but have not yet lost their green pigment. The other puts pieces of the inner bark of the macambo tree into a pot with hot coals until it has become coal-like itself and can be crushed to powder. The two elements are then combined and pulverized with a mortar and pestle, often a long bamboo section serving as the mortar and a hard flat-ended stick as the pestle. Once crushed completely the nu-nu is passed through a fine material—frequently a piece of mosquito netting—several times until only a fine green powder remains.
For use, one hunter blows about half-a-gram of nu-nu through a hollow reed into one of the receiving hunter’s nostrils. It hits like a million ultra fine shotgun pellets and on impact feels as though it will continue through your nasal cavity and brain and will finally explode out of the back of your head. Eyes instantly water. Another half-gram is sent into the other nostril with equal result. Over and over the nu-nu is blown into the recipient’s nostrils, perhaps 10, 14, 30 times, until the recipient is spitting green mucous and feeling light-headed and perhaps drunk. It’s a giddy sensation once the initial pain subsides and is often used as a prelude to telling the day’s hunting stories. And as with alcohol, the more nu-nu one has had, the larger and more ferocious the beast the hunter faced with manly courage—though the beast nearly always gets away.
But nu-nu, in larger quantities, is also used as a hunting tool: during the few minutes after receiving it and before one has his legs under him, there is a sort of short dreamlike period. During this time something akin to a large movie screen appears in your sight: On it will appear all of the animals of the jungle. Bands of monkeys will fly through the trees overhead; packs of wild boar might rush past; jungle deer will flit across the screen. And as he watched, the hunter waits for one or more of those animals to die. And when it does, the hunter notes the place, the time of day and the method of death. The following day the hunter will go to the place he saw in his nu-nu dream and wait for the animal—who is said to have seen the same dream—to come to meet its destiny.
I saw that occur—and even participated once when the Matses used my nu-nu dream to hunt successfully—many times. But one time in particular, when sapo was utilized in conjunction with nu-nu, stands out over the others.
As I said, I was with a photographer, Jeff Rotman. He’d been sent to accompany me to take photos of the Matses for Penthouse magazine in that time when they still ran non-girl features. The magazine had become intrigued when I showed an editor photos from my trip with Steve Flores and decided to assign me to return with Rotman. So the trip was only several months after the one with Steve Flores. But during that time the river had come way up, so that much of the forest had flooded areas, meaning the animals didn’t have to come to the river for water. Hunting during that time is difficult as the animals can retreat deep into the jungle. When we arrived it was so bad, in fact, that Pablo, my friend and the headman of his small village, was setting a tapir trap.
Tapir-trapping time is an interesting one for the Matses. Pablo took five burns of sapo every morning and night for several days prior to going to the jungle to build his trap. He did that, explained, because it would give him the power to project his animas, his soul or life force, into the trap as a tapir, to lure a real tapir into it. Only sapo could give him that ability.
He also explained that during trapping time no one in the village could hunt any other animals. The reason was because all animals, like trees and plants, have spirits, and if you killed one while the trap was set the spirit of the animal you killed would warn the tapir you were trying to lure into the trap that the other tapir wasn’t a tapir at all but only the spirit of a man trying to kill it. Which would ruin your hunting.
There were, fortunately, two exceptions to the no-hunt rule: the Matses could hunt both river turtles and sloth. They could hunt river turtles because they were so arrogant that even if you killed them they would never stoop to talking with other animals, even to warn them of impending death. And you could hunt sloth because even though they would certainly warn the tapir, their spirits moved as slowly as the sloths did in real life. And by the time they would have explained to the tapir that the other tapir was just a man’s spirit, the season for tapir-trapping would be over.
It was all wonderful story telling, but I didn’t believe any of it. Nonetheless, I watched as Pablo took huge amounts of sapo every morning and night for several nights, then set his trap about an hour’s walk from the village. He found a muddy patch that tapirs like, then cut a sapling and affixed its top end to a tree on one side of the patch and pulled its lower end across the patch and affixed it to a second tree there. To it’s bottom he affixed a sharped stick about 14 inches long, and then set a trip line so that if a tapir pulled on it the lower end of the sapling would come loose and snap across the muddy patch, impaling the tapir on the sharpened spike. Each part of the trap was rubbed in leaves that would eliminate a human scent and help lure a tapir into the trap.
The trap done, Pablo got on all fours and mimicked a tapir for several minutes. Then we left.
We didn’t stay at his village. Instead we took my peque-peque up the Galvez for several hours to the place where the twin villages had been burnt during my earlier stay with Steve Flores. Pablo said he’d seen three large sloth in a tree near old Remoyacu recently while under the influence of nu-nu, and sure enough, they were where he said they’d be. He took one and we roasted and ate it the following morning in a hut that had not completely burned.
But he didn’t stop taking his sapo that night or the next morning and interestingly, when he took a lot of nu-nu in the afternoon he grew excited and said we’d have to return to his village because the tapir trap was going to be sprung near dawn the following morning.
It was dark by the time we returned to Pablo’s and he quickly went to bed. Moises and Jeff and I did the same.
The following morning Pablo and the others in his camp—most were his wives and children—were up early, and Pablo was joyfully agitated. "Petro! Vamos! Vamos!" he kept repeating. I got up and ready and all of us headed out toward the trap. We were probably within a hundred yards of it—though we couldn’t see it—when Pablo had everyone stop. Moments went by and then suddenly there was a snap followed immediately by the loud bellow of an injured animal. It continued to bellow as it crashed through the woods, with all of us in persuit. We found the tapir in a small stream, still breathing but near dead. Pablo was ecstatic, as were his wives and kids. I was just in awe.
I don’t know that everyone would take that story to be about shamanism, but to me it’s a great illustration of it. Somehow Pablo, utilizing plant medicines, had accessed a world of animal spirit not available to the rest of us. He had shape shifted and projected his soul into a trap to lure another tapir into it and it had worked. And he’d seen it happen nearly a day before it came to pass. Without the overt spiritual trappings we generally affix to it, it may not sound like shamanism, but I contend that it is shamanism as it was utilized by people for millennium: As a tool to access other realms of reality. And in this case that tool was utilized to feed a large and hungry family.

In my time with the Matses I picked up every thing they threw away, until they got the message and began to bring me their garbage. There were leaf bags woven to carry yucca and plantain and aguaje from their fields and the forest back to camp; there were broken arrows, an old ocelot tooth necklace, the short end of copal torches used to lite the huts at night, all sorts of things. And I’d brought them to the Museum of Natural History in New York City and had become something of a collector for them. At the time the Hall of South American Peoples was being built and they had nothing from the Matses, so were happy for my contributions. I was happy as well because getting writing assignments that would pay my way back to Peru was made much easier when I could produce a letter from such a prestigious museum asking for certain things they needed to fill holes in their new hall’s collection.
Among the things I brought back were nu-nu and some other medicinal plants I’d seen Pablo use. The museum turned those things over to the Bronx Botanical Garden’s botanists, who repeatedly told the anthropologists at the museum that I knew nothing of plant collecting and what I was producing was worthless.
In 1992, however, I caught a break: Shaman Pharmaceuticals had been created. They were a new type of pharmaceutical house, one that intended to farm not just rainforest plants, but plants already being utilized for specific diseases by curanderos. More than that, they intended to give a good share of any profits they made to the indigenous or mestizo peoples who shared their plant lore.
By luck I ran into Shaman’s lead investigator, Dr. Steven King, at a Rainforest conference I was covering for a magazine, and he recognized me as the person who’d brought out the fantastic Matses’ sapo. He also recognized me as the guy who couldn’t collect plants. But he made me a deal: If I would spend a week taking a short, intense course on plant collecting with a botanist at the Bronx Botanical Gardens he would supply me with materials and a couple of thousand dollars to see what might be gleaned from the Matses.
That was a gift from heaven for me and I left New York within a month. It didn’t take long to realize I’d need a boat for the trip: Moises made it clear that none of the puddle-jumpers we used could carry the gasoline we’d need for fear of exploding, or the volume of alcohol we’d need for making plant extractions. It took about a week to find one that was working but not already being used. During that time word of my venture got out and I began to get warned that if I, as a gringo, tried to pass through all of the military checkpoints I’d pass on my way down the Amazon to the tri-country point where the Yivari river entered the Amazon and then up the Yivari, the border between Peru and Brazil I was crazy. What I needed, I was told, was someone who had grown up on the river and run boats on the river and knew every military outpost and the mayor of every little river town along the way.
That person turned out to be Gilma Aguilar. She and Moises and I, along with our engine man—the boat owner’s son—and one boat pilot, spent a week or so getting outfitted, then headed down the Amazon in our little 39-foot long riverboat with a 24-horse power engine.
It was an amazing and successful trip, and by the end of it I was in love with Gilma. Less than a year later, I married her.

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Tourism/Terrorism/Burma and Chepa's Baby

Until I moved to Peru I never took a guest out to the jungle whom I didn't pay for. If they came with me it was because they were my friends and I took care of them. But when we were moving down there in 1998 I knew I would need some extra money so I agreed to take people into the jungle and up to Cuzco occasionally. I prayed that I was not compromising Julio, my teacher and the great curandero, and I worked hard not to compromise him and I think I did a good job. I had a few people every couple of months and they were always wonderful people and Julio loved having them and so did I.
But when we moved back to the US it was different. When I lived there I could have things ready for a trip in a day. From the US I have to spend a week just getting my team together, and then another week or two getting hotels. For a trip I've got in October--just a few days in Cuzco/Machu Picchu--prior to my stomach operation there, and which will pay for the stomach operation, I've already spent parts of two weeks getting them all internal-Peru plane tickets and booking hotels in Lima/Cuzco/Ollantaytambo/Aguas Calientes/Puno/Copacabana and then back in Cuzco. And four of the hotels are already booked. That's a far cry from 10 years ago just saying "Chep, can you call the Nilar and tell them we need hotels for xyz days? I'll pay when I get there." From here each deal is a Western Union, which is a trip to the store and several phone calls. Ick.
And from here I've got about $4000 to spend before I can do the trip. Which means I've got to charge enough to add in that $4000 before I can make a penny (my plane fares, living expenses, a month's worth of bills here and money left to feed everyone while I'm gone). But guests don't understand that, and the woman who's organizing the October trip doesn't understand that.
Worse, her people, for the price they're paying, won't understand that to get that woman and me to Peru for their trip, nearly $8,000 of what they've paid is coming off the top, rather than going into fancy hotels.
So from where I am sitting, lots of money passes hands but there is nothing to be made other than a month's worth of bills and I would have made that here in Joshua, Texas if I stayed home.
On the other hand, getting to share good things with people looking for adventure is a great great reward in itself. So I do come away richer for the experience, if not in cash.
Now cast that against what our boys are dealing with in Iraq and Afghanistan and I'm embarrassed to even mention it. One of my son Italo's friends who did two tours with the marines in Iraq was over last night and all I can think of is what the crazy guy on Taxi told the young guy (famous actor, I forget his name but a regular on the show) when the subject of Vietnam came up and the young fellow had served there and the crazy guy hadn't. "I salute you, sir. I was against the war but all for you brave young men." Or something like that. So here I sit and bitch that I am not going to make enough money on a trip to the Andes Mountains but there are tens of thousands of our boys and girls, our young men and women, fighting in a place where people are trying to kill them and way way too often succeeding. The war stinks. It always did. But you soldiers I still admire.
And in Burma, well, I don't know what to add to the chorus. Monks with slingshots fighting against automatic weapons. I only wish the weapons misfire millions of times and that the soldiers finally realize that both they and the monks are wearing flip-flops on their feet and so they are finally the same and on the same side. I could go on on this one but I'll bet you good readers could also. Same as in Darfur. We must stop being these people and become new people. We must stop hurting ourselves in others.
And then the last note for today is that Chepa had a 3=D sonogram today and the baby, at near seven months, is looking great. I was at Madeleina's soccer game when the sonogram was happening (Madeleina's team got creamed like canned corn by a team of 12 year old's to their age limit of 10) but Chepa passed on the info.
So things are good here and I'm praying for the rest of the world.
And if the football Giants are playing tomorrow, I want Michael Strahan to stand up and be counted. If you skip all of training camp and the pre-season, you better damned well be able to come in an play.
Have a great Saturday night, everybody.

Friday, September 28, 2007

My Gut and That's the End of It

Coupla people asked so I'll answer and I'm sorry if I'm boring the rest of you two dozen. Initially burst an intestine--sort of like a balloon growing on the intesting, probably caused by 25-years of bacteria in the Amazon--and got peritonitis. Nearly died but didn't. Saved by a great surgeon in Cuzco, Peru.
Twelve days later I took a small group of fantastic people out to the jungle. I shouldn't have, but did and wound up opening up everything so that it had to be redone. It was, but the problem is that the interior is herniated: If you look at my stomach it looks like a huge alien is trying to get out. I mean this thing sticks out by a foot from what it should.
So I'm headed to Peru in a couple of weeks to have a piece of kevlar put in there to hold things together long enough for the muscles to heal. I like these muscles. I like doing 1,000 crunches a day--about half an hour--and then a couple of sets of 50 pushups. So I'm in love with these muscles despite the fat they carry over them because of my whiskey. And I want them well. And the doc says, and I'm not sure if he's kidding or not, that with the kevlar he's putting between skin layers, I ought to be able to withstand a .22--a shot from a Saturday Night Special. Which would be great. Of course, I'll have to ask people what caliber gun they are going to shoot me with, but that's a small price to pay, I figure.
And right now baby Sierra is screaming because Madeleina took one of her dolls away from her and substituted another, so I'll have to go and try to get the crying stopped.
I'll be here till the 10 of October and will try to get done two more parts of 25 Years of Shamanism for you by then. Whew. That's a lot of work but I want to get all 10 or so parts finished before the end of the year.
Okay?

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Really Busy, Sorry for No Posts

Okay, so I'm sorry for the group of you who come here every couple of days and havn't seen as many new posts as you're used to. I'm just real busy writing new stories and under the deadline gun. The gun is there because I've got to leave Texas in 12 days to go to Peru to get my new operation: One which promises that my huge ruptured stomach will be pushed back into place with a thin sheet of polyethelyne or kevlar because I botched the first two operations. So I'm preoccupied with getting contract work done. And then last night I wrote a lame piece that I had to delete. Long, but too self centered and about my next to last trip to the Amazon. Man, that was a hard trip for me and I wish I could blame it on the tourists but in reality I'm supposed to vet the tourists, so if I end up with people who hate me smoking 400 cigarettes a day, it's not their fault, it's mine. So I eliminated that entry.
Which leads me to this: I'm mowing lawns. I'm washing clothes. I'm investigating stories and trying to put bad guys in precarious positions. And I'm trying to be a dad and go to Madeleina's school events. And trying to take care of Chepa, who two nights ago wound up in the hospital after falling off a ladder at 6 months pregnant. I slept on the floor of the hospital room when the pain killer they gave her caused a bit of paranoia that had her thinking the hospital staff was going to kill her baby because she has no insurance. "Peter. Get over her now. It's an emergency!"
I have to admit that as a male being brought in to stave off the emergency is nearly orgasmic: "Yes! I'm a man and I'm needed for my manliness!" is what every pore screams. Blah blah blah, but it's true. Us men really do love to be called in when other humans fail. Man, that makes us feel like a million bucks, even if it comes from an ex-wife.
Anyway, for those and a million other reasons I haven't blogged much last week. Trust that Madeleina is playing her third soccer game Saturday, that Marco and Italo are working and healthy, that Italo's Sarah, who lives with us, is getting ready to make a break from waitressing at Wild Buffalo Wings and move on to a private company. Trust that Chepa is still the most beautiful woman on the planet and that she and her baby Sierra as well as her unborn baby whatever are doing fine. And trust that I'm okay but just extra busy. So while I don't mean to let you readers slide, I'm in a bind and have to let something go. Even if just for a few days. My apology to each of you.
Hey! On the bright side, in two to three weeks the doc in Cuzco, Peru is going to give me a full cross scar. Peel away the flesh on my stomach and chest and put in his plastic or Kevlar and then I'm gonna be flat-stomached and handsome again. Which will be good. Because for the last three months, with this operations' partial failure and my guts hanging out and only kept in check by a girdle, I've felt like less of a person than normal. Yesterday, for instance, I saw two 18-year-old girls pushing an SUV off Interstate -35 and there was nothing I could do to help them but give them a thumbs up. My stomach stitching simply isn't strong enough to push an Escalade. But my heart is strong enough to lift one. Physical limitations.
Damn you, Jonny Wadd.
P

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Old Truck Looking Good

Mostly small stuff today because I feel sort of small. I had a fight with a best friend last night--and I was in the wrong. Feel awful. Drank too much then called him and after a good talk, first in months, an old issue came up that's been nagging at us both and it began as my fault. I should know better than to get on the phone when I'm drinking. I do know better. I did it anyway and messed up. I guess the issue needed to surface and I didn't have the guts when sober. I still feel lousy and small. I guess I am today. I'll try to be stronger next time, Chuck. Sorry.
Other than dad, the rest of the crew is doing great. Madeleina played her second soccer game yesterday, and while they lost--they tied the first one--she made a couple of good plays on defense, enough to get her into the game and make her feel part of things. She'll get better over time, but I'm still proud to watch her. Makes me feel like a regular soccer mom.
And Italo and Marco finally had their names officially changed to Gorman on Thursday. Been a long time waiting for that but it's done and all that remains is sending in the paperwork to Social Security, driver's licensing bureau and half a dozen other places and we'll be set. I was so proud.
And then for a present to me--one I didn't know was coming--they had the car taken to a professional cleaning place and had that 14-year-old interior worked on until it is nearly spotless. I mean old coffee stains and the general filth of seats being sat in hundreds of thousand of times and they're all gone. Smells like a new car. To beat that they put in a new sound system. Unfreaking believeable. And the polish on the exterior just shines, shines, shines. They're growing up.
Little Sierra's on the couch behind me. She's eating Altoids. She's gorgeous. I got so much good in my life but I sure messed up last night. What a jerk.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

What Compromises a Curandero

The question recently came up of whether curanderos/ayahuasqueros who work with gringos would be among those chosen if curanderos were needed to save the universe. The implication was: Do curanderos who work with gringos, rather than just locals on a river or on a city block, lose their authentic power, whatever that might be? I don't think so. So this was my answer. For whatever it's worth, of course....

Would the curanderos who treat westerners and locals (I know of none who exclusively treat westerners, though there might be some I don't know of) be among those chosen to save the universe in a moment of necessity? Sure. They're not lame because they treat westerners. They just happen to live near where westerners visit.
If you go on the 5th block of Pablo Rossel in Iquitos and find the curandero who lives there and holds ceremony every Tuesday and Friday for 30-50 people (of whom perhaps 2 or 3 drink with him) you'd find he would welcome gringos. He just doesn't know any. He's already serving the community and if a gringo asked to be part of the community he'd be welcome. If you go to the 12th block of Jivari in Iquitos and find the curandera who lives there, she'd welcome you as well. And if she did she'd be one of the people who serve gringos ayahuasca. Would that diminish her work? Doubt it.
What would diminish the work--if that's what the real question is--would be something that threw the curandero out of balance: a desire for women or men that they didn't or couldn't control; jealousy that affected their intent; greed, or anger or alcohol abuse. Any of those can come with the power that the money from gringos brings. But those things can grow anywhere where things are out of balance, even in the rainforest.
The only official apprentice I ever knew Julio, my friend and teacher, to have was Salis Navarro. He got hired to serve ayahuasca once a week to one of the big tour company's guests in the late 1980s, early 1990s. He was a forest man all the way. But within months--after dozens of men and women had thrown themselves at his feet--he foolishly believed he was important (more important than the medicine) and seduced a Matses man's wife; one of three wives of my friend Antonio, a young Matses warrior. Antonio blew his stomach out with a shotgun when his wife told him Salis had seduced her against her will.
The corruption can come from anywhere. Julio used to say to remember always that the medicine was the doctor, and the curandero was only given permission to use it. Once the curandero believed he was the medicine, or that it was his right to use the medicine, he'd lost his balance and would soon fall.
I always thought that was a good way to look at it.

Monday, September 17, 2007

My Son Marco's Birthday

Today is my son Marco's 19th birthday. All right, everybody: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MARCO!
It's been a fairly amazing life with him so far. No one, with the exception of his mother, ever tested me, pushed me, prodded me, like Marco has. Difficult would not begin to touch it. Yet I love him thoroughly and wonderfully.
I met Marco when he was just 4. I'd fallen in love with his mom and asked her to marry me. She didn't take me seriously: Gringos in Iquitos fall in love easily--as do the girls--but there's a long way between falling in love and marrying a woman with two young boys, like Chepa had. Didn't matter to me: though I'd never wanted kids I knew that with her it would be no problem.
I shoulda run when I had the chance...or at the very least when I saw Marco, always thin, out in front of a joint called Ari's Burger--at the time the only place where a gringo could go to get a cup of coffee--his arms cleverly hidden in his shirt, posing as an armless urchin and begging money from tourists. I might have run when we got to New York and he was about 6 and I took the family grocery shopping for the first time. It was a nice supermarket, a Gristedes, and when we paid and got out I realized Marco was eating a candy bar. The problem was I hadn't bought any. So I sort of went crazy and dragged him back into the store and called for the manager and made Marco pay for the candy he'd stolen--my money, of course--and apologize. Marco wasn't happy, and asked if he could keep the other candy. "What other candy?" I asked in front of the manager. Marco smiled and took out more than a dozen candy bars and packages of gum and then glumly turned them over when told he couldn't keep them.
We got outside and I was still lecturing on the evils of stealing when Marco, unphased, reached into one of his coat pockets and pulled out a candy bar and offered it to me. Nothing I could do but laugh at that point. Kid must have had 10 more than he'd turned in. But the lesson wasn't lost on him. Steal. Apologize and return some. Keep the rest. Dad will laugh.
And I should have known it would be difficult between me and Marco when once, in Iquitos we had to walk from Belen--the market--back to the Hotel Isabel where we were staying, a good 8 block walk. Well Marco, then probably 7, didn't want to do it. So I carried him, then I dragged him, kicking and screaming, and finally just left him to follow Chepa and I to a joint around the corner from the hotel where we were going to get a beer. Marco came in and sat at a table nearby but wouldn't look at us. We had a soda brought for him but while he drank the soda he still wouldn't look at us.
A few minutes later several police, all armed with automatics, came in and looked around the joint. They asked who we were. I told them and asked what was up. They said they'd received a report that a gringo and a local girl had been seen dragging a child down the street and they thought it was an abduction. They asked if we knew the boy at the table near us. I told them he was our son, Vinny (he changed his name to Marco when he was 10 or so). They walked over to him and asked if we were his parents. Very deliberately he shook his head no. They asked if he'd ever seen us before and he shook his head no. They asked if we'd dragged him down the street and he nodded his head, yes. Took me and Chepa about two hours and half-a-dozen beers for the cops until they believed our story.
But then he got sick and nearly died and when the nurses couldn't find veins--he was on medication that swelled him up--I had to hold him down for the nurses to take blood and man, you should never have to hold down your son for his own good like that. He screamed wildly, three times a day while the nurses searched for blood under his fingernails, from his thighs, under his tongue, anywhere they could find even the littlest vein.
In New York once at grammer school I got a call from the school principle saying Marco had been in a fight. I asked if he was alright. She said yes, but that the other kid had a broken nose and the police would be calling. Then she added that the kid had been picking on Marco for days and Marco had put up with it until that morning when the kid jumped on his back and he turned around and lashed out and broke his nose. "You should have seen it, Mr. Gorman. It was wonderful to see that bully just lay down and cry. You've got a great kid there."
I got another call from his middle school a couple of years later. "This is Sgt. Broklen, NYPD. We've got your son down here at the school and we need you to come down and talk with us."
I got on my bicycle and was there in three minutes flat. They told me Marco had a butterfly knife at school. They showed me a zerox copy of it and asked if I knew it. I said it was mine, part of my collection of interesting things like butterfly knives.
The story was that Marco had brought it to school and traded it with a kid for two dollars. The other kid took it out to show it off, was caught and asked where he got it. He ratted on Marco, hence the call to me. The cop was fine, just wanted to let me know that while Marco hadn't shown it to people or scared people or anything, he still shouldn't/couldn't bring things like butterfly knives to school anymore.
One of the assistant principles got upset. "That's all? Just a reprimand?" she demanded, and when the officer said he didn't see the need for anything further she added: "DO you know what he did with the two dollars? He bought pornography!" She flashed a rolled up magazine in front of me and the others in the room.
"Now just hold on a sec," I interrupted. "I'm very angry that Marco stole my knife. I'm angry that he doesn't realize that when he sold it he might be selling it to someone who could hurt other people with it. But the fact that a 12-year-old was later caught having used the money from the sale of the knife for pornography is not a bad thing. That's a good and normal thing. He's supposed to have porno at that age. May I see the magazine?"
"No you may not!"
"Well, then, can you at least tell me if it's straight or gay pornography so I'll know how to deal with him on sexual issues?"
The woman almost feinted; the cop nearly busted a gut laughing.
When we moved to Texas Marco didn't change. First party we had one of his friends--who has since gone on to be a professional bull rider--broke off the nipple from our house air conditioning unit and all the kids huffed the freon. I didn't find out about it till the next Spring when we went to use the air conditioner and there was no gas. I went through the roof and thanked the creator that none of them died.
Couple of years ago he called me from a party and asked me to pick him up. He was dead drunk. Police had come to the party after the kids started a bonfire behind the house. Marco had to walk a line and failed miserably but for some reason didn't arrest him. That was nice of him. I wasn't nearly as nice. Bonfires in Texas have a way of getting out of hand. Marco got the point. Not that night, of course, but the next day, while he was ill. The hangover turned him off alcohol.
On the other hand, after having broken every electronic device we ever owned up until he was 15, he can now fix any electronic device on the planet. And after not doing homework--except under threat of murder by me--he managed to graduate from high school last year with pretty good grades and a very legit diploma. And now he's working and getting to be more of a man every day. And he still hugs me and has learned how to say please and thank you over the years and I think he's going to turn out to be one hell of a man.
Thanks for being my son, Marco. Happy Birthday, boy.

Investigation 101

Don't mean to bore you all with another story about writing, but someone wrote recently--after a new cover story investigative piece of mine came out in the local alternative weekly I work for--and asked how long it took me to dig up the dirt I was dishing. He wrote because he's about to enter journalism school and was thinking about being an investigative reporter.
I told him about the weeks/months/dozens of interviews involved but the real key, aside from always making another phone call, doing one more interview, cross-checking one more time, is being creative when you have to.
I just wrote about the circumstances of how I became a writer, but I didn't say how I became an investigative journalist. This is it.
I'd done some stories for High Times on ayahuasca, nu-nu, the phychedelic plant doctor and maybe one other, when I got a call to come to the offices. There, my editor in chief talked to me about Earth First! There had just been a big story about them in, I think, Rolling Stone or Esquire, and my boss wanted the High Times version. The big story was wonderfully written, but as Earth First! leaders were all wanted by the FBI at the time there was no new talk from any of them in the piece. So my boss, Steve Hager, told me he wanted an interview with Judi Bari or Darryl Cherney of Dave Foreman or any of them. "Something fresh. Something nobody else has," he said.
Which was great. I had no idea where to even start. Hell, if the FBI couldn't find them, how the heck could I?
I'd never done an investigation before, at least not like this. So I went back over the piece in the other magazine. Over and over. I looked at the pictures of the people in Earth First! to see if there was a clue. Nothing.
Essentially, I was perfectly willing to give up because it was an impossible task. I had nothing to go on at all.
And then maybe two or three weeks after Hager had asked for the story, I was watching a football game in my apartment in NYC when a lightbulb went off over my head. I jumped up and went back to look at the pictures of the Earth First! crew again. And there it was: Dave Foreman looked like a bear of a man. A big guy. The kind of guy who probably played high school football. And probably still liked to watch football. And maybe liked to drink beer while he did.
The article said that Foreman had grown up--if I'm remembering correctly--in Wyoming, or had some Wyoming connection so I decided to start there. There was no Internet at the time, and I wouldn't use a computer for another 3-4 years (I think this was 1988), so I got on the horn and called Information and got the first five alphabetical names and phone numbers of bars/restaurants in Wyoming. Five was all the phone lady would give me. So I called back and got five more. And again and again until I had I think--again, if I remember correctly--283 bar names, addresses and phone numbers for the state. Thank god it was Wyoming and not California.
Then I began making calls. It took days. At each I'd say something like "I'm Peter Gorman from High Times magazine. I'm trying to reach Dave Foreman. If anyone knows him can you pass this number along? I want to talk with him."
I think I was through about 130 or so, about half the list, a week later, when I was watching football on the next Sunday again and the phone rang. "Is this Peter Gorman?" "Yes." Click.
The next day it happened again. "Is this Peter Gorman?" "Yes." Click.
There were no phones with caller ID back then, or redial, so I had no idea who or what it was about and didn't think about it much.
The next day the same phone call.
And then the fourth day it started the same. "Is this Peter Gorman?" "Yes." Pause. "This is Dave Foreman. You wanted to talk with me?"
Man, you should have seen my heart beat just then. I was on the phone with a guy the FBI was actively looking for and couldn't find. What a thrilling moment that was.
I don't know that my interview was all that great, to be honest, but it still made the cover of High Times and from that point on I thought of myself as an investigative reporter.
Years later, while I was interviewing everyone I could think of that was connected with early years of LSD, from Leary to Beresford, to Ram Dass to Ginsberg to Hofmann, I was trying to reach Ken Kesey. Wavy Gravy had given me Kesey's private line--I think it was Fish Lips or some such--but warned me that Kesey didn't generally take phone calls. I called his home and spoke with his wife--she said he wouldn't speak with me. I called the Fish number several times and got no answer. But I really wanted Kesey to be part of the 50 Years of LSD special issue of High Times that Bill Weinberg and I were putting together.
And then it was a Saturday and I was in the apartment and the Oregon college game was on in the background. And then it hit me, just like it hit me with Foreman: Kesey was a wildman but must love football. Still, if he did, he wasn't going to answer the phone during the game. So I waited till halftime and the moment the half ended I was on the phone and sure enough he answered. I blurted out: "It's halftime so I know you got 10 minutes. I want to talk about LSD. This is Peter Gorman and I already got Ginsberg and Ken Babbs and I need you...."
It all came out as one long word, I'll bet. Nonetheless, he laughed. "How the fuck did you know I'd be watching the game? And don't waste time, the clock's ticking."
And then he told me about LSD.
So I guess football has been very very good to me.
And investigations, when they pan out, are freaking fantastic.

Saturday, September 15, 2007

How I Wound Up Being a Writer

Okay, this may not be something people care about much, but lately for some reason I've been reliving some of my past, both in waking and dreaming time. It's been on me and I've not been able to shake it. Perhaps I'm trying to get rid of some stuff that my intestinal explosion couldn't eliminate. Anyway, I don't know that this is of interest, but I hope it is. That said,......

I was the fourth of six kids born to Madeleine and Thomas Gorman in Whitestone, Queens, in a time when Whitestone still had a couple of farms left and a huge swamp, Dupey's, where there were snakes, possum, quail, turtles and so forth, all of which wound up in our back yards sometimes. It was country living in New York City in the 1950s and it was great. As an Irish family, or at least as our Irish family, we were all expected to supplement our 10-15-25 cent allowances with jobs, and at age 6 my job was taking in the neighbors trash cans on pickup days. I probably had 5 clients and I wasn't very good, but then I was only 6 years old. By 8 I was the night delivery boy for Frankel's Pharmacy, bringing drugs and diapers to 10-15 people daily for three hours, while Mr. Frankel, the pharmacist, ground his potions and put them in capsules for his clients. By 10 I worked as a soda jerk at Joe's, a soda/ice cream/newspaper joint on 24th avenue. I could make the heck out of an egg cream, a float, a banana split and so forth. And if you asked for a half-pint of ice cream, I filled that thing till the flaps couldn't possibly close.
My brother and sisters did the same. Mike was the oldest. He's now a judge in the Bronx and a lawyer/investigator for another lawyer part time. He retired from the NYC Police Dept a lieutenant about 10 years ago with 30 years on the job. During that time he became a lawyer and prosecuted dirty cops. But he was/is a fair guy. If he caught guys sleeping on the job he'd find out how many days they were on patrol, and if it seemed like a lot to him--having done patrol for years--he'd find a way to botch the case and the guy would be off the hook. Mike always did have a good sense of fairness.
Growing up, Mike was a great athlete. He played baseball for Archbishop Molloy high school--one of the best in the country at the time--and later for St. John's University, a perennial top-20 baseball school in the early to mid-sixties. He later played ball for a sort of Mets Class D farm team: he and others weren't going to make the pros, but a lot of pros on the mend from physical ailments or alcohol or drugs played on those teams with him, so it had some class. And until he turned 63 he still batted 4th and played first base for a baseball league. He never made the pros, was never signed. He was fast but not blinding; hit well but not exceptionally; played good defence but not brilliant defence; threw well but not fantastically. And the pros only go by those four things. So while he might have been able to hit .290 in the pros, without the power, or speed, or fantastic arm, he didn't catch their eyes. I know because I spoke with lots of scouts who came to see him and I was the team batboy. They always said: He's great, but doesn't do one of the four keys so well that we can't skip him. Man, that stuff made me want to die, because I watched Mike work out all year long, put weights on the end of a bat and swing it 100 times a day in the basement of our house, helped him play infield by hitting sometimes 50 balls daily to him on rocky fields and knew how good he really was.
Pat was second. She was a great artist from the git go. I've written about her before on this blog so I won't go into it here, except to remind you that she's brilliant, recognized by Time Magazine as having designed one of the top 100 designs of the Century--the MTV logo, which changed the face of design--and had Sting as a personal client for 10 years. She also won an Emmy or two, was full scholarship to Pratt and so forth.
Peg was a baton twirling thing of beauty. She teamed with Pat on some awesome doubles but as a solo she was North American East Coast singles champ one year, just to give you an idea.
Now my dad, Thomas B. Gorman, was an actor. He did 2,000 television shows and 7 Broadway shows and once had his name aboe the title of Gore Vidal's Tony Award/Pulitzer Prize Winning play The Best Man, after he replaced Lee Tracy as Art Hocksteader in that. "TOM GORMAN in GORE VIDAL'S THE BEST MAN" at the Morosco theater. So he was good.
And my mom was a radio actress credited with coining the "des, dem, dos" version of Brooklynese on a radion show created for her. She later raised us all, then went back to school, became a teacher, and finally returned to the stage before she died.
So then here I am. I'm the fourth. It seemed like every possible thing was taken. What the heck was I supposed to shine at?
Well, one of the things my brother Mike made me do for a winter one time was write jokes. I had to write jokes for 3 hours every Saturday morning as a discipline. My father, before he made it as a character actor, had been Arthur Godfrey's main joke writer, and had written for Robert Q. Lewis and Henry Morgan and others, so Mike thought we ought to do that. So I got used to writing.
And then in high school, at Bishop Reilly HS, in Queens, NY, everyone in the school had to write something creative for the Robert Frost Competition, something John F. Kennedy had mandated while still president and alive. All high school kids in the whole USA had to submit something.
I submitted a poem and won a second place among sopohmores at my school. Which meant I won. And nobody in my house had ever won a prize for writing before. So I thought I might become the writer of the Gormans and let the others do what they did. I was so darned proud.
By the next year I won a first prize and a third prize, and in my senior year I won national honorable mention for a play I wrote that was later staged at my school. Now that was something.
So I thought of myself as a writer and wrote throughout college. I managed to get four plays produced off-off Broadway, even got covered by local tv news a couple of times. I was supposed to be an up-and-comer. But then my last play got produced at the Lincoln Center Library Theater--which sat 400 and was free to the public--and the public didn't like it. They threw fruit at the actors, stood and ranted, and so forth. I didn't realize at the time--I mean I saw it but didn't really realize it--that the library theater was afternoon home to a lot of homeless people who had strong views and liked to share them. Nonetheless, I was humiliated and stopped writing plays.
Instead I wrote novels: Nobody published them. I wrote a children's book called "I've Never Seen A Cat Do That" ((Uncle to nephew):"Or a cat who goes walking with a pack on his back, moving through woods that are darker than black?(Nephew to uncle): I've never seen a cat do that. (Uncle to nephew): Have you heard of the cat who tames tigers by banks of the river? He keeps them all happy by feeding them liver. (Nephew to uncle): I've never seen a cat do that...") which was so brilliantly illustrated by a pal that one of the big kids' book publishers wanted it until she tore all the original drawings up.
So I turned to short stories after college and won some prizes, had maybe 20 published in small mags and journals and earned about $30 each--not a lot for a month of work. But I was earning a living driving a taxi, and then later cooking, and then later being a chef in good NYC joints and writing when I could.
Then I got a call from an editor, my first editor-call ever, asking me if I'd write a piece about Sex in New York. I'd never done a non-fiction piece before. The paper was The Aquarian, a weekly music mag out of New York city with an editor/owner, Jim Rensinbrink, who liked to publish poetry and fiction and who had published maybe five of my stories by then. So I did it. And then another. And then I headed down to Peru with pals and sent him one piece a week on our travels. And when I got home I discovered he'd gone out of business and all my pieces had been returned to me.
So I looked them over. They were good. I investigated a bit and found a book on marketing magazine stories and sent them out to the places that seemed appropriate. Walking Magazine sent me a contract for $700 for a piece on the Inca Trail; International Living sent me a $200 dollar contract for a piece on a little Amazon town called Requena. Two or three others were also sold and then finally High Times mag sent me a contract for $300 for a story on my having taken ayahuasca, the wonderful jungle medicine.
Man, I was hooked on non-fiction. All my years of writing fiction had brought in maybe a grand. One seven-week trip produced more than two grand, just for having fun and paying attention to where I was.
The following year I returned to the Amazon and sold High Times three stories for nearly a grand each, more than paying for the trip, and a year after that Penthouse bought a story. Then Omni, then Playboy, then Geo, and Die Zeit and Wildlife Conservation and dozens of others. Suddenly I made 25 grand in a year as a writer and was able to go part time as a chef. I loved being a chef, loved inventing one new dish daily--my credo/my discipline--but after 18 years I was getting tired of it. And then here this was. And then High Times hired me to be their drug war reporter and the next thing you knew, 10 years later, I was the editor in chief there. Wow. Time flies and so does life but I hope I made a difference in the lives of some people by getting them freed of prison, or getting them to realize the realities of what they were doing, and even finally helping get major laws changed, like when Henry Hyde had an aide call me for my forfeiture series and then began working for a change in the forfeiture laws.
And somehow, somehow, I've been able to raise this crazy family of mine on investigative reporting for nearly 20 years now, just like my father raised us on being a character actor. I'll bet he's happy if he looks at me. He knows I try really hard.
Anyway, more than anyone needed to know. I was just a kid trying to do something special that my brother and sisters didn't do and that little Robert Frost contest third-place win was the thing.
Who'd have guessed a little thing like that would sort of direct a life's work, eh?

Friday, September 14, 2007

Ganja on the Ganges

Okay. Some of you might have seen this in Cannabis Culture about a year ago. Some of you might have seen it on my archives. But I just re-read it and laughed so I think it's still got some punch. I know it's got mention of ganja, like the last piece did, but what the heck...I feel like adding this to the blog and so I'm gonna do just that. Enjoy.

Ganja on the Ganges

By Peter Gorman


It was 1988 and I was already well into my 30s before I got to India. Everyone in the whole world arrived before me but I didn’t mind: India is just too damned India-ish for all the hippies, hypsters, gawkers or squalkers to change it much. Pale-skinned Hare Krishnas at the Bombay airport paled in comparison with real Sadhus—holy men—and their followers; St. Patrick’s Cathedral was a simple stone building when compared with the Taj Mahal; traffic jams on the LA Freeway were a walk in the park next to the camels, sacred cows, rickshaws, cars, trucks and sea of humanity that pushed through Pushcar during the annual Mela.
I’d been there about a month before I got to Varanasi, the most sacred city in India. During that time I was in a constant state of open-mouthed wonder at everything I saw and heard: 30 days wasn’t nearly enough time to completely eliminate the culture shock of being in a place where rats are sometimes worshipped while an entire class of people are considered untouchable. To ease my transition I’d indulged in several recently-outlawed-but-readily-available treats: I’d smoked pot in Bombay, eaten magic mushrooms in Kodaikanal, smoked bowls of opium in Madras, had chillum’s full of charras in Agra and drank quantities of bhang lassis in Rajasthan. Still, nothing quite prepared me for Varanasi.
One of the oldest continuously inhabited cities in the world, it’s as holy for Muslims and Buddists as it is for Hindus. Shiva, according to one legend, is supposed to have laid down and where his body was the river Ganges flowed. It is a city of narrow streets and ancient buildings, the birthplace of Indian art and culture. In Varanasi there are 365 holy days a year and a temple exists to commemorate each. For Hindus, a Pilgrimage to Varanasi and a bath in its waters liberates the soul forever from returning to human form. To have one’s ashes thrown into the Ganges, along which Varanasi was built, assures one of reaching eternal bliss.
The city teems with life. Its markets overflow with the most beautiful saris and silk weavings in all of India. Bowls of fine powdered chalk the women mark their foreheads with come in colors that could make a rainbow blush. Wood carvers and fine painters abound. Sacred cows share space with roaming monkeys. Music from sitars and flutes echoes from every corner and down each alley; car horns blare in contest with the wailing of mourners carrying their dead to the ghats by the river to be burned.
I’d arrived with no place to stay but quickly found a cheap room in a ramshackle hotel, then headed out into the thick of it. In the street the hustlers asked if I wanted their charras and the beggars held out their hands for rupees. I ignored the hustlers and gave the beggars what I could. I was on a mission. I wanted to find the last legal government bhang shops in India. I was told they were not far from the Ganges, near the burning ghats, and that the government allowed them to stay open so the dead could be burned with a little treat to make their trip to the afterlife more pleasant.
I wound through streets and alleys in a slightly downhill fashion, and in perhaps an hour or two I’d reached the water. The sun was setting and the river was golden. It was also low, and I could see rows of people standing on a sandbar in the middle of it. Small boats lined the bar in front of the people.
I asked someone nearby if one could rent a boat for a trip on the river. The fellow, who spoke English, shook his head side to side and said "Yes. You can be having a boat. But not here. For getting a boat you must walk back up the hill to the first street, then down to the next street where they are having boats."
I asked him if he knew where there were any government bhang shops. Again he shook his head ‘no’ while while saying yes.
"In the streets before the boats where there are the burning ghats there are several. But if you would like some charras I have a cousin who…"
I cut him off, thanked him and left before he had the chance to lure me to a carpet or jewelry shop where I would be stuck looking for hours at beautiful carpets or ornate jewelry that I didn’t want and couldn’t afford.
In no time I arrived at a row of little wooden shacks that were locked up for the day. I couldn’t read the writing on their signs but could smell the cannabis and knew I was in the right place. Down the street I could see a dozen or more boats moored to poles at water’s edge. I decided to come back at dawn then headed back to my room through the bustling streets.
In the morning I awoke early and headed back to the little wooden shacks. As I drew near the streets grew thick with people, mostly mourners, carrying their dead. Some were carried on liters, their bodies wrapped in simple white cotton cloth; others were drawn in carriages with colorful silk burial shrouds adorned in flowers and beads. All of the groups were making their way down narrow lanes to the burning ghats. I let them pass and made my way to one of the now-open shacks.
Inside, a gaunt, shirtless man sat on his haunches on a raised platform with a rolling pin in his hand. On the floor next to him was a large, open newspaper-bound bundle of pale yellow-green cannabis stalks. A young boy placed a handful of the stalks on a sort of cutting board in front of the man, who began rolling them with his pin as if he were rolling flour. From a shelf behind him he took a container and poured a little of what looked like oil onto the stalks as he worked them: the oil mixed with the plant material and in no time he had turned the cannabis into a green, gooey paste. He scooped it up and quickly made about 30 little balls from it that he put on a tray and handed to another young man who was selling them to the passersby. I bought one and bit into it: it wasn’t very good and I swallowed as quickly as I could. The boys laughed and told me it was better in lassi, the yogurt drink.
I watched their father work for maybe half-an-hour before my body began to rush and the world around me begin to throb. The boys saw that I was getting high and laughed between themselves. I bought another ball, ate it, thanked them and began to make my way toward the dock.
The walk took more effort than I anticipated: my legs were wobbly and the narrow passage’s walls seemed to close in on me. Worse, a family carrying a dead loved one was hurrying to the ghats just behind me and I couldn’t walk any faster—the rush was coming on strong—but I had no way to get out of their way. One of the men in front, a large man with a bushy moustache asked me something in a foreign language. I tried to answer but my mouth wouldn’t work. He began to glower at me and I leaned back against the wall, trying to become one with it so that he and his family could pass. It didn’t work. I was still in the way and there was no room for the men carrying the liter to pass me. Unfortunately, I was hardly able to move just then and stood where I was, an impediment to their beloved getting to his deserved bliss.
The man began to shout at me and the entire family picked up on the cue. I didn’t know what they were saying but the words were coming out like cartoon letters from their mouths, colorful and large and not at all pleasant. I was at a loss and feeling completely wretched that I’d interrupted someone’s shining moment with the thoughtless act of eating a bhang ball. Worse, it occurred to me that I’d eaten a second and that everything was going to get even more complicated when that kicked in.
The family’s now angry voices brought me back to the alley. I had to think of something or we’d be stuck there forever. Just then the god of cannabis came forward and gave me an inspiration. I pushed out from the wall and stood in front of the liter. I indicated to the lead man that he should lift the liter and that I would help pass it over my head as they walked by. He understood and did as I suggested. I helped raise the dead and then began to help pass it, hand-over-hand. I had a brief vision in which I saw myself dropping the corpse and nearly collapsed, but managed to hold it together until it was in front of me. To my surprise the family didn’t stop to thank me for the ingenious solution to the apparent impasse but simply kept walking to the river.
I breathed a sigh of relief. Behind me I could hear sounds and turned to see another family bearing another loved bearing down on me. I fairly forced my body to move. I couldn’t go through that again. I put one hand on the wall to my right to steady myself, and made my way down the alley. It couldn’t have been more than 100 feet but it took an eternity, what with the walls and floor breathing unevenly and the family behind me gaining with every step. When I finally reached the sunlight I lurched around the corner of the building and held on for dear life while the family flew by like a merciless locomotive.
In a few minutes the sunlight invigorated me and I could look around without feeling helpless. In front of me, to my left and right and not too far, groups of people surrounded the cremating corpses of their loved ones. White smoke rose from the fires to the heavens. Other families waited. Other groups carried bundles of what I supposed were ashes from other ghats to the boats, then piled in and the oarsmen took them into the river. Further off to the left and right I could see huge groups of people bathing along the banks of the Ganges, fulfilling their sacred obligations to make the once in a lifetime Pilgrimage to this holy place.
I don’t know how long I stood leaning against the corner of that building but I know I didn’t move until I felt I could make the short trip to where the boats were without falling. When I finally left my legs still wobbled beneath me, but did as I asked.
Before I even reached the boats several men approached me with the glint of tourist money in their eyes. "Boat tour?" they all seemed to ask, their faces slightly misshapen in my altered vision. They all looked like people I did not want to be with just then and I waved them off, pushing through them to an old man who was still sitting in his boat, eating.
"Can I rent your boat?" I asked. He kept eating and didn’t answer. I thought that maybe the words hadn’t actually come out of my mouth so I repeated my question. He still didn’t answer. I leaned down and touched him on the shoulder and he turned his head just enough to indicate with his eyes that if I was coming I should get in. I did, crouching low so as not to fall off the other side as the boat lurched with my weight. I managed to stablize and sit.
The man still hadn’t said a word and he didn’t stop eating. He had chapati—flat bread—and a sort of stew in an aluminum pot and he was scooping the stew with the bread. It looked wonderful and I wanted some. I was ravenous. I stared at him, hoping he’d get the message that he should share that wonderful pot of food. He ignored me. I began to wonder if I’d misread his eye signal. Maybe he hadn’t invited me into the boat at all. I began to get a little edgy that perhaps I should leave, but was much too comfortable to move, so determined to sit until he either asked me to leave or began to row.
Fortunately, he eventually put the pot down, stood, untied the boat from its piling and pushed off into the river.
"Do you want to go close to the burning?" he asked suddenly, unexpectedly, in good English.
"Um, what? No. No. I don’t. That’s private. Just the river. The river’s good."
The words tumbled out and clattered together. The man laughed.
"Bhang. Not talking good."
He turned so that his back was facing me and began to row us out toward the sand bar. We nearly reached it when he turned the boat and began to row parallel to the city on the river’s bank. I stared in near awe: There, rising up on a hill was what looked like a wall of ancient building close on each other. Dozens of temples painted white and blue or left the color of clay rose next to homes and old military buildings. In front of them at the river bank were funeral pyres and boats moving goods and hundreds of people bathing in the river. It was as if I was looking into a sort of heart, throbbing with life, and motion and bustle. It was at once magnificent and wretched, beautiful and awful. It was inspiring. I felt a rush of joy. I might have been looking at the center of the universe. This was truly the most holy of places. Many of the people I could see bathing had probably waited years to be able to step into that water. The plumes of smoke rising from the burnings meant everything to those families. Good for them, I thought. Good that they'd made it. I hoped they got everything they wanted.
"Beautiful, my city," the oarsman said, waving his hand at the sight.
"Very," I answered.
"Shiva lives here."
I couldn’t do anything but grin. Shiva lives here. Of course.
"Budda came here."
I remembered a story I’d been told about Budda. When he first came to the Ganges, the nine Nagas—the snake dieties that hold the world together—who lived by the river each made themselves into a bridge so that Budda could cross. Budda looked at the nine Naga bridges and, not wanting to offend any of them, made himself into nine Buddas and crossed them all.
"You are here," the man said. "Too bad you are not Hindu or you would be promised everlasting life."
I laughed.
We rowed in silence for a little while. The bhang’s effect was beginning to abate and I was thirsty. I reached over the side of the river and scooped a handful of the water and drank it. It tasted wonderful. I scooped another handful. Even better. On the third handful though I came up with what looked like a piece of finger and tossed the water back.
The boatman must have seen me because he burst out laughing. "Don’t drink that. It’s full of body pieces. Not everyone can afford the wood to completely reduce the bodies to ash. They still throw them in the river. Watch."
He quickly brought the boat near the sandbar and began to stir up the sand with his oar: bits of bone, whole bones, body parts began to float around in the water. I began to feel sick.
"You are looking like you are going to vomit. Please vomit over the side and not in my boat."
I didn’t. In a little while we began to head back.
By the time we reached the dock I felt strong enough to walk easily. I paid him, disembarked and began to head back to the alley.
"Don’t forget," the boatman called after me. "Shiva lives here. Welcome to my city."

Monday, September 10, 2007

My Friend, Phil Blumenau

I guess everybody has someone who taught them how to live. For some it was teachers, for some their parents. For me it was Phil Blumenau.
I was 18. I was probably already problematic, having helped start an undergroung paper at my high school, Bishop Reilly in Fresh Meadows, Queens, New York, being a baseball player and an actor at school and someone who would sell poems to other students to enter into the annual Robert Frost Competition that John F. Kennedy demanded every high school student be part of. But then I went to Hunter College of the City University of New York, a great university. I entered Hunter, perhaps the most famous nursing and education facility in the US in 1969, just the second year it was integrated--it had always been a girls' school--and the ratio was something like 9-to-1 females to males. And there I was, a functioning male. For a kid who had never masturbated--sad but true--being in that environment where I was around that many girls gave me essentially a permanent erection: to the point where my extremely Catholic mom asked if I was trying to show off. Hah! I wish.
In my anthropology class in my freshman year--an auditorium class of perhaps 200, there was one guy who caught my eye. He was a longhair like me, but he had an air about him that showed a sophistication I'd never seen before in someone so young. He seemed to know that he was doing. He wore an afghan coat that was in style that year, but he wore it with an ease I'd never seen. His blond hair was straight, his blue eyes piercing....I guess if I was gay I'd have fallen in love. As it was, I wasn't but I still fell in love with him.
I met him when I missed a couple of anthro 101 classes and needed notes. I asked if I could borrow his. He said okay but he wanted them back. I said Okay and returned them a couple of days later. We became fast friends. There was a girl who like me named Darryl and Darryl (hello, Darryl, wherever you are) and she and I would borrow my mom's car and drive to Philip's mom's house in Queens Village and neck in the area's private streets. We got caught by the cops once and were pretty naked. They let us go after taking about 30 minutes while looking at the 6-foot Darryl and we didn't consummate until after I broke into Phil's friend, Naomi Pelzig's Amstermdam Ave and 91st street apartment to have sex with Darryl. Great break-in. The cops were called then too--probably why I am shy around women as the cops always seem to be talking about my private parts when I'm naked and they catch me.
It was worth it for Darryl, who became a fantastic educator for New York State.
Phil and I wound up getting a rent-controlled apartment on 76th street and Second avenue in NYC in 1970--the week I turned 19. Four little rooms, tub in the kitchen, for $45 a month. Ground floor, fireplace, small back yard. (Yeah, different time, different world.) We grew up there. I don't know what he might say about me but I will say that Phil, who later had his own lab as a physicist working with optics, was the single coolest person I ever met. He could make ice melt and was as humble as a daffodil. But he knew how the world worked.He understood things that a smart guy like me didn't know at all. His brother Dan had done the collage in the Stevie Wonder Taurus album and hired me and Phil to work on his famous collage in Jimmy Hendrix's Electric Ladyland Studio bathroom on St. Mark's Place. Dan later hired me and Phil to help revamp Chris Blackwell's Island Records' Grove street townhouse and their Carnegie Hall studio, where we met and toked with Bob Marley and others. We later worked on the homes of Oscar de Laurenta, Arthur Schelinger and the Kennedy townhouse on 63st. None of those toked with us.
But Phil was cooler than even that: One night we left our NYC apartment, took a walk to participate in a protest about Vietnam, and wound up as a couple of 19 -year-old kids in a coffee shop around the block from where we lived. Next to us on a stool in the place was a 45-year-old man. This guy, whom we'd seen around the neighborhood but never spoken with, was sitting next to Phil. And he said something like: "Did you see the undercovers? They were everywhere. What a freakin' city. You never know who your friends and who your enemies are."
And Phil, sitting next to him, pulled a joint from his shirt pocket then put it into the guy's shirt pocket. "You have to go with your gut feelings about who you think are narcs. Enjoy this."
The guy's tongue is still probably hanging down to the ground.
That was the single coolest thing I've ever seen on this planet.
And Phil may reappear on this blog from time to time. He's still that cool.

They Stone You When You're Tryin to Be So Good...

But I would not feel so all alone,
Everybody must get stoned.

Last person to complain, okay, and I know I've use Mr. Dylan's song in a post before so let me start my complaining--which you know is coming--with complaining about me. What the heck is so hard about coming up with a new song? Why use the same song? Is this guy Gorman lazy or what? Is Dylan's Rainy Day Women the only song that will work? Or is Gorman someone who has that song running around in his head every stinking time the junk hits the fan? Put it this way: Has Gorman ever used Mitch Ryder's Devil in a Blue Dress yet? Why the heck not? He's complained about women, about his ex--my ex, actually if I could stop looking in a mirror for a moment and realize I'm talking about me, not my mirror image--but did he ever use that song? No. And it's a great song. So why not? Is he freaking retarded or what? "Fe-fe-fi-fi, fo-fo-fum, Look at miss Molly, lord here she comes....Devil in a blue dress, blue dress, blue dress, Devil with a blue dress on!"
And what about The Boys are Back in Town? He's never even thought for a minute about using that great song, yet he's wasted 2,000 words talking down Ted Nugent, which probably sold Nugent an extra grand worth of CDs. And then there's the Blues Magoos' Ain't Seen Nothin Yet--the only guitar solo Gorman ever mastered--and you havn't seen that on this blog. Or the Stones' Ruby Tuesday, or the Blues Project's Wake Me, Shake Me--with Al Kooper on his astounding B-3 organ and vocals, of course. Gorman even smoked a joint with Kooper once at the Cafe Au Go Go on Bleeker Street after a show in '68 or so and still you never saw that song mentioned in a blog, did you? And what about one of the absolute essential rock songs of all time, Gimme Some Lovin, by the Spencer Davis Group, or Manfred Mann's version of Springstein's Blinded by the Light? Or anything else Manfred Mann's Earth Bands ever did? Or Procol Harem's Whiter Shade of Pale? Ever been mentioned here? I don't think so.
All Gorman can do is repeat Dylan's Rainy Day Women #12 and 35 when he wants to bitch. What a one track loser.
That said, I got a bill for my electric this month, today, for $529. I've never hit $300 before and three months ago switched to those swirly flourescent energy saving bulbs. So what happened? I don't know. I'll call the electric company tomorrow to ask. It's like someone is shunting electricity to grow pot or something because there are no new appliances in this house, but there sure is a new electric bill.
And the phone bill, which has unlimited everyting came in today with $94 bucks worth of long distance charges. What the heck? We'll talk tomorrow. And my radio in my car shorted out during a white-out rainstorm that I insisted on driving through with my fantastic old 1994 Ranger (4-cylinder, 2.8, with 275,000 miles) and now it smells like people have been sitting in the seats for 13 years because I left the windows open during the storm. And my son's girlfriend Sara's car is broke, the new self cleaning oven won't clean, and the sink and toilet backed up when my son Marco decided to fix the water leak under the house then clean the muck from his clothes in the sink and rinse his legs and arms of mud with a bucket of water in the toilet.
Ah, life...and Chepa comes back from her boyfriend's tonight; we all love her but life sure has been peaceful without her for the past couple of weeks.
Blinded by the Light, Cut loose like a goose, another runner in the night....
Shit. That don't work.
They stone you when you are young and able,
They stone you when your're sitting at the table...
Ah, now that's a song you can bitch to...

Saturday, September 08, 2007

Good Morning Everybody!!

Wake up, wake up, you sleepyheads, Wake up, wake up you sleepyheads....
It's Saturday morning at 8:15 in Gormantown Texas and this is just a reminder to have a great day out there. Here the sun is already shining but it's not going to be a scorcher. Madeleina has her first official soccer game today and the coach told me she's making enough progress that he's going to start her. Marco was off to work at 4 AM, finishing up his first week with a a real --though boring--job. Italo is picking up some overtime today and was out by 7; his live-in girlfriend Sarah made a deal for a used car--a 1995 Toyota for $1700--on her own yesterday. And I'm finishing up a big story and will turn it in in about two hours. So things are looking good here.
Heck, I might even try to get part 5 of 25 Years of Shamanism started later today.
Just for the record, we had marinated skirt steak with garlic, sliced onions, tomatoes and green pepper last night--sort of fajita style--over Basmati rice with a wonderful salad and there's plenty left over. And I'm thinking about sauteed sea scallops in a garlic, red pepper and scallion butter sauce tonight. We don't usually do butter here cause I'm too darned fat, but with scallops I'm tempted.
That's the short skinny here. I hope your day is just as full and fantastic.
Gorman out.
NOTE FROM ADVERTISERS: This joyful moment has been brought to you by the expresso coffee bean growers of the world. We fully expect Gorman to crash and be in a foul mood within an hour.

Thursday, September 06, 2007

The Matses Bow and Arrows

I've just been asked to describe the Matses Indian Bows and Arrows: How they're made and from what they're made. For most of you this might be something to skip. For a few others this might be great. Here goes, from my experience:

The bow is made from interior wood of the aguaje tree--a black, spined-palm whose fruit, is enjoyed by humans and the favorite food of both sahino and wangana--the two edible peccary's in the Peruvian Amazon. The wood is strong, and pliable, though it keeps its strength for years: While arrows are generally used once or twice, the bow, which takes several days to make, is used for as long as a year. And that's with daily use.
The bow, generally about 2 meters long, is strung with chambira, a palm fiber utilized by indigenous and mestizos alike for weaving hammocks. If the chambira breaks, restring with regular bow string. (In traditional use, chambira is replaced almost daily).
The Matses arrows are a work of art. Reeds are plucked from swamp, then held over a fire and slowly turned: Those that bend, pop, or crack are discarded. Of 100 reeds selected, perhaps 5 or 6 will finally be made into arrows.
Arrow making is generally done on rainy days, and the process of selection of the reeds can take hours. At the same time, it's generally done by more than one hunter at the same time so that it becomes a social activity--around which food is served and hunting stories told.
The arrows are actually made in four parts: The shaft is a reed: at one end of the shaft a split feather is affixed: a feather cut in two is set on opposite sides of the shaft and tied into place with a single strand of chambira, interlaced in the individual hairs of the feather. That is covered with copal, a tarrish tree-sap that's heated to boiling--turning it black. Once boiling, the copal is applied to the chambira, sealing it to the shaft. At the end of the feathered end of the shaft a coil of chambira--or more frequently these days, colorful sewing thread, is wound around the shaft's end, keeping it from splitting and lending a touch of balancing heft to the arrow.
At the business end of the arrow, a short, 4-6 inches, section of blond wood--generally from a hardwood branch is inserted into the hollowed end of the reed. To this is affixed the arrow's point: a sharpened piece of wood cut from either bamboo or ugurahi--a blond palm. The point is affixed to the hardwood connector section using chambira, though sewing thread will also work.
Arrow heads range between 6 and 12 inches long, depending on the type of game being hunted. For birds the arrow head is generally short and flat. For jaguar the head must be hollowed out to a half circle to allow for blood letting while piercing dense muscle.
Arrow heads, once in place, are sharpened by using the long, curved tooth of an agouti, a jungle rodent, attached to a two-meter long thin, round shaft of aguaje wood. The agouti tooth is notched with a machete to allow it to run up and down the length of the arrow head to make an exacting blade on either side.
Interestingly, the Matses also utilize different bird feathers for different arrows. For general monkey and bird hunting the black feathers fo the Puca Cunga, a type of jungle turkey, are utilized. For hunting ground animals with some body mass, the feathers of the Trompetero, another jungle turkey, are utilized. And for hunting jaguar, the feathers of the aguilar, the eagle, are used. The colorful feathers from the guacamayo--the maca--are also occasionally used. Those can be utilized for anything but a jaguar as they don't allow the arrow to gain full velocity at short distance, the only distance at which a hunter would have a chance of wounding a jaguar.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

My Quick Take on Drugs

Someone recently remarked that ayahuasca, a primary physical, emotional, and spiritual medicine that's utilized throughout the Amazon, was "a fucking drug, first and foremost." The person is way off base in my opinion.
So for what it's worth, here's my opinion.

Ayahuasca, like all Master Plant Teachers and even the Lesser Plant Teachers, is so physically revolting, that you've really got to want to learn what she's got to teach to get it down and keep it down. If that's your idea of a drug, then let's look at drugs.
There are four primary kinds of drugs:
Those that intend to cure or control physical ailments: antibiotics, natural remedies, chemotherapy, etc.
Those that eliminate pain: heroin, aspirin, opiods, meth, ibuprofin, cannabis, etc.
Those that provoke sex: cannabis, alcohol, cocaine, meth, and a couple of others.
Those that teach: Mushrooms, cannabis, Ayahuasca, San Pedro, Peyote, Iboga, Amanita Muscaria, Datura, Syrian Rue and some others.
A few overlap.
To be honest, there are only three general reasons people take "drugs" voluntarily: To eliminate pain, to get laid, to learn.
The "learning" drugs are very articulate. If you put them in the same category as pain killers you've missed their point. The learning drugs are plants that willfully want to teach us silly humans something about the universe. And they all make it quite difficult to ingest them: Vomiting on your date won't get you laid, after all. And going through ego-dissolution won't make you the life of the party or ease your pain either.
And if you havn't got that down yet, you're missing a lot.
So yes, ayahuasca is a drug. But you damned well couldn't do it like you can drink a beer or have a shot of whiskey with with a chaser.